Saturday, May 19, 2007


Scheduled to come out in May of 2008 Sylvester Stallone is bringing back RAMBO. And the new trailer has been released and it is by far the GREATEST Trailer of all time. If the link doesnt work, it is because to many people are watching this Blood Bath of a trailer.

John RAMBO is back. New RAMBO trailer.

Big Time Musician....or Stud Athlete?

Which would you rather be? At first thought, I absolutely wanted to be the stud athlete...the Jeter, Jordan, or Brady....but let me tell you, being a big time musician (Dave Matthews, Timberlake, Bono, Jay-Z) is nothing to take lightly. I think we can all agree that both groups get an insane amount of women....more than anyone could dream of. They have dimes throwing themselves at them in a different city or country every friggin' day. That sounds like a taste of heaven to me. I blame my parents for not giving me the genes to become a 6'2" 245 lbs. middle linebacker in the NFL, or the gift to use my fat fingers to toca la guitarra. Here's for making a case to be either a stud musician or a stud's a lot tougher of a decision than you think, even if you are a sports fanatic like this kid.

Athlete: You're probably in bomb shape, so the women have no problem bodying the hell out of you. You're the man in your home city, the absolute man. If you're a Yankee, you own NY....if you're a Red Sox, you can't even go out in Boston without a police escort. Guys wanna be you, chicks wanna be on you. You're on TV for 6 months a year, sometimes every day, sometimes once a week...but at that time, the entire region focuses it's attention on you. You can look into the stands and take home any single chick you want to...pretty much. When you go out, people will talk amongst themselves that you're even in the building. Talk about having your pick of the litter. Spend a couple of hours perusing the place, and find a 10 to take home. You're a god damn stud. Don't even get me started about away games....that's when the orgies take place. The downside is that you have certain standards and rules to uphold with your respective league. You can't test positive for extra curricular activities, and you have to stay in somewhat reasonable shape.

Musician: People bob their head to your $hit. You're in millions of CD players, IPOD's, on TV all the time, and you get to attend every single awards show known to man. You pretty much party 24/7, as your life is one big concert. Clubs, bars, house're meeting women every night, ingesting whatever substances you want to ingest, and living your life care free from rules and regulations. Chicks get moist when they listen to your music, so when they have a chance to actually meet you, they pretty much want to ride the hell out of you, and call it a day. And let's get to the meat and potatoes of being a musician.....the concert tour. Every night there are thousands of women that make a push for your after party backstage....and guess what, you let in whoever the hell you want. It's probably your boy that lets in the most insane lookin' chicks you've ever seen....and their ultimate goal is to sleep with you, so that they can tell their friends. And unlike athletes....occasionally your tour goes worldwide....and what happens in Europe stays in Europe. You're pampered wherever you go, and you can have an orgy arranged before your show if you want.....everyone caters to your needs. Be greedy. There's a chance you don't have a spec of athletic ability, and your body could go do hell....and hopefully you don't become a one hit wonder, because you don't have a contract like an athlete. If you get hurt, or fall off the map with terrible tunes....everyone will forget about you forever. You'll just be another average Joe, probably bankrupt because you spent all your money on blow, women, cars, and 5 houses.

Suds loves sports...but a good case can be made for both. The musicians make a strong case for themselves....and I know this is a "sports" blog. Yeah right. We love chicks. They make the world go round. Who would you rather be?


The NBA Draft Lottery is a mere 3 days away! I cannot stop thinking about it. I'm obsessed with the end result of some random ping-pong balls. I'm walking around in a cold sweat this weekend. It's actually becoming a problem.

As I'll be in NYC during this announcement, the lottery determination could very well send me over the George Washington Bridge. I love the NBA. I love the Celtics. I will cry if they don't land a top 2 pick in this upcoming draft.

To be completely honest, I will not be fully satisfied if the Celts land the #2 pick (Durant). I WILL ONLY BE (ENTIRELY) SATISFIED WITH MR. GREG ODEN, the next Celtic Hall-of-Famer.

If the C's land Durant, they MUST trade Paul Pierce ASAP. Durant is better suited to immediately contribute than Oden, but Durant is not going to elevate the Celtics to an elite level. As good as he was this past year, he failed to push Texas into the Sweet 16 (unlike Carmelo, he doesn't make players around him better). Durant needs the ball in his hands to dominate -- he needs an offense to be dictated around him. He is terrible when moving without the ball...TERRIBLE. Problem is, Paul Pierce also NEEDS the ball. You think Pierce is going to defer to the 18-year-old??? No chance!

Oden should make the All-NBA Defensive team as a rookie. By his 4th season, he will be the best center in the world (yes, better than Yao...and better than Stoudemire, who has no clue how to play man-to-man defense).

For the past 4 months, I have gone to bed dreaming of an alignment consisting of Oden and Big Al in the Celtics' frontcourt for the next decade. Call it gay, call it what you want...but, this vision alone has gotten me excited on many occasions. I'm becoming giddy as I write this. I want the Celtics to be relevant again.


I'm on my way to church...

The Mind Explosion

I have just finished reading the excerpt of Al Gore's new book The Assault on Reason, and I believe it is a must read. Many of us have very different views on politics, culture, and life in general, but you are reading this blog so you clearly have nothing else to do. Give it a shot and prepare yourself for The Mind Explosion.

For the sake of making this post run to long, below you can read an excerpt of the excerpt and then follow the link to the original Time Magazine post.

The Assault on Reason by Al Gore

Not long before our nation launched the invasion of Iraq, our longest-serving Senator, Robert Byrd of West Virginia, stood on the Senate floor and said: "This chamber is, for the most part, silent—ominously, dreadfully silent. There is no debate, no discussion, no attempt to lay out for the nation the pros and cons of this particular war. There is nothing. We stand passively mute in the United States Senate."

Why was the Senate silent?

In describing the empty chamber the way he did, Byrd invited a specific version of the same general question millions of us have been asking: "Why do reason, logic and truth seem to play a sharply diminished role in the way America now makes important decisions?" The persistent and sustained reliance on falsehoods as the basis of policy, even in the face of massive and well-understood evidence to the contrary, seems to many Americans to have reached levels that were previously unimaginable.

Click here for more of the excerpt

Borges' Back In The News

According to AOL Sports...

Ron Borges, the Boston Globe sports writer known for his love of boxing, dislike of Bill Belichick, and use of work from other writers without proper attribution, has retired from the paper. Borges, who is on the Pro Football Hall of Fame's selection committee (and will presumably be replaced), is often referred to as a "journalistic enigma" and is despised by large numbers of Boston sports fans.

On the other hand, sometimes the most-despised columnists are the ones who are most effective at getting their messages across. That's why there will be many other outlets interested in Borges' services. His next employer might very well be Oscar De La Hoya -- Borges wrote for a De La Hoya-owned web site during his recent suspension from the Globe. We haven't seen the last of Borges, just the last of Borges with the Globe.

My little rant...It's obvious that Borges' columns had an agenda -- it was to ruffle the general public's feathers. It's called schick. Although his work was often viewed as a nuisance, his work also provided a sense of refreshing relief. Why? Because I don't respect journalists that sit on the fence (I've never understood this) have center stage, make use of it! Provide me with your real feelings about a particular subject. I may not always agree with your insight...but in the end, you will have garnered more of my respect.

My question to the readers...who will now represent the area's (football) Hall of Fame vote -- Mike Reiss or Felger??

We All Knew It

Sorry Good Doctor, but here is your proof.

Let's Go Bananas

Holy Crappola... How is this not on TV?!? Everyone says that boxing is dead, I say prove it. I just watched a bunch of primates duke it out, granted the fight only last 2 rounds, but what the was unreal.

OK, so a bunch of SPCA people bit*h about how it is inhumane... are they serious? These mammals are wearing boxing gloves. Not only are they wearing gloves, but I bet they are the 10 oz. gloves. If they were the 8 oz. mitts, maybe one of them would get off a quick jab, but come on folks. Let me ask you this...Would you rather get hit in the face with a weak monkey jab, or get hit in the face with a pile of crap? I thought so... So the "cruel" people that set up this fight actually saved these primates from smelling the crap that hit them in the face all day. What is wrong with that?

I'll tell you what the real crime is, I don't see Don King in either of those pictures. What is that crazy bastard thinking? This is a gold mine waiting to be pillaged. If this isn't on TV in the next 2 months, who know what I'm capable of... I may just boycott TV.

To be continued...

Friday, May 18, 2007

That Veronica Vaughn is One Sexy Piece of Ace

After recently indulging in my 5,328th time watching Billy Madison, I wanted to bring attention to something we all know but may have forgotten........and that is Veronica Vaughn is a sexy vixen. I'd give my life savings to suck on her neck while cupping the bottom of her butt cheek with my right hand. Just close your eyes and think about that for a second (and no, not my hand...with your own hand, you perv). Without further ado......for your viewing pleasure...

Paris...Is That You??

According to Dollymix, Tania Derveaux, the leading NEE party senate candidate in Belgium is offering to give away blow jobs -- 40,000 of them, to be exact. Apparently, this all started as a joke...when in response to an opposing party's claims of offering "new job opportunities in ridiculous amounts," Tania posed naked in a parody campaign, promising voters 40,000 "jobs". Due to "popular demand", Tania is going to make a "political protest" by sucking it up, taking a 500-day tour around the world, and giving 40,000 blow jobs (or, 80 a day)!!!

Stay tuned, as the next Belgian election is June 10th!

Keep Your Yapper Shut

Why can't Jason Giambi just shut his fat mouth and play baseball? Giambi started off his interview with some actual real insight, and good points. He said that MLB should apologize to its fans for the steroid problem that controlled the game for over two decades. While I think that will really do a disservice to those who actually played the game right, and never used performance enhancing drugs, I can see Giambi's point. But then, the former roid monkey makes a ridiculous statement, and I actually think this jerk really believes this.....

"That stuff didn't help me hit home runs. I don't care what people say, nothing is going to give you that gift of hitting a baseball."

Jason...let's get serious here. You used to stick needles in your a$$ and pop pills, for what, just to fill out your 3 XL A's and Yankees jersey a little more. If steroids didn't help you hit home runs, then what the f*ck were you taking them It certainly isn't for recovering from injuries and the daily grind, because while steroids definitely help in that aspect, it's all about stepping to the plate and driving in runs. I would agree that hitting a baseball is probably the hardest thing to do in sports, and that being an exceptional hitter takes a "gift" and lots of practice....but the extra 30 pounds of beef you add to your frame will help improve bat speed, and with every action there is an opposite and equal reaction. You throw those horse steroid arms straight through a baseball with faster bat speed...guess what you get, Jason.....HOME RUNS, you bloated bastard. Even I can tell I am hitting a softball further after going to the gym for a long period of absolutely makes a difference.

So spare us the "yeah I took 'em, but they didn't help" BS and do what you should have done a long time ago....admit what you did, apologize, and then keep your mouth shut. You're a loser anyways...with your pervert slicked hair and your flame tattoos. Why don't you go call your brother Jeremy and go start a bar fight somewhere? I hope you guys get bottled and kicked in the face by Red Sox fans. You're a disgrace (insert an image of me spitting in your face here). And then running away, of course.

And With the 3rd Pick in the Draft, The Boston Celtics Select......

Yi Jianlian, center, from China. Don't think it could happen? Think again. Scouts are absolutley obsessed with the 7-5 center. He's not like Yao Ming....he is much more agile, can run, shoot, dribble, and probably caulk the wagon and walk across the river in Oregon Trail.

7-5 is so goddamn tall. That's almost 2 feet taller than my short, pudgy self. If I hung out with this guy, he'd get a ball tap immediately...and I could do it overhand, which would surely bruise his junk. I can't even imagine walking around that high up. You need special cars, special fact, you're pretty much right up there with the bearded lady at the local carnival. Does this guy get laid? I mean he is a super star in China, but how could any chick actually hop into the sack with this beast? Wouldn't they rather have a 5-7 Italiano whispering sweet nothings into their ear? You're right, probably not, but I'd still take my pants off anyway. Can't hurt, right?

Let's Give Credit Where Credit Is Due

Eric Hinske was off the meter last night. First of all, that catch he made in a 2-1 ballgame, runner on 2nd, 2 outs....was absolutely insane. Sure, due to his unnatural slowness, he had to make it a difficult catch...but he absolutely laid it all on the line when he laid out. His face his the ground so hard it bent the brim of his hat into a "W." That's sick effort right there. He ate about a pound of mud, and probably some pubes from the guy in the first row that had his hands down his pants the whole game. Hinske looked like he was doing a muff dive into his first women he's seen in months. But enough about the catch, Hinske then stepped up to the plate in the bottom of the 7th and delivered a mammoth game winning 2-run home run to right center field. This guy rarely gets a chance to see the field, so you can only imagine how good it felt to round the bases with 40,000 people screaming like you had just brought home a pennant single handily. That was one happy son of a b*tch as he rounded third and greeted the base coach....and rightly so.

"The dirt was all in my eyes, in my mouth. I was OK. In my mind, unless you've got to carry me off on a stretcher [he'll play]. I don't get the chance to play that often.''

Hats off to you today Eric Hinske. I hope you enjoyed your 4 innings in the spotlight last night. Last night's game is on you, you brought it home guy. Well done. We appreciate effort like that here in the heart of the Bean.

Random Hot Chick of the Day: Beau Garrett

You may or may not recognize her from the Entourage episode "The Script and the Sherpa" which was the episode where they go to Val Kilmer's house to buy herb. There is an absolutely unbelievable scene about half way through the episode where this chick drops her robe and she is completely naked (albeit) from behind for about 1.3 seconds before she jumps in the pool. If you have the ways and means, do yourself a favor and watch that episode on demand.

Garrett was discoved by Guess! in the late 90's and since then has had roles in Entourage and Touristas. She is about to absolutely BLOW up because she has a starring role in the next Fantastic Four movie which is set to be released later this year. This chick is incredibly smoking hot, and has a sick.....SICK body. I wish the pictures online would be better, but I think you get the idea.

Happy Frenchin' Friday

As I sit here at my computer, with balls as blue as the goddamn Atlantic Ocean...I present to you God's greatest creation to mankind, the Lesbian Kiss. There is nothing hotter than watching two smokin' hot broads tongue the hell out of each other, as if they're having their last supper. You make any two chicks make out, and they will look like they've practiced the technique since birth. Perfect porm, just enough tounge/head rubbing/neck licking/lip biting. I'm talkin' perfect here. This video makes me wanna strip down to the bare bone, get in the middle of these two chicks and ask them..."Hey, there are two types of people on this planet. Those who get weird...and those who don't. What's it gonna be ladies, let's rock." Sure, none of you would like to see my fat italian body inbetween these smoke shows...but you know what, frankly...I don't give a $hit about any of you. Did I mention that above there are two chicks face f*cking each other? If you haven't clicked on the video at least 3 times by the time you read this sentence, you're a gay. Turn in your d*ck at the nearest 7-11 and call it a day. You herb.

Girls, Girls, Girls, Girls.....Girls, Girls!

Friday has snuck up on us all. Going in to this weekend, I have some food for thought for our fellow readers. There comes a time in every man's life when they come to a crossroad....Do I suck it up and go after a girl that fell off the ugly tree and may be big boned or uphold to certain standards and only settle for a nice dime piece with an onion booty that will make you cry?

I say go for it. We are in the prime of our lives. Who cares if her face looks like somebody shaved the a$$ of an orangutan and taught it to walk backwards. Most of the time we are all at least 15 bud heavies deep and have whiskey dick anyways. Nobody's perfect. Before you know it we will all have smug toddlers running around and a wife that's overweight and honus wagnus anyways, wishing we could just go back and give one more girl a "quincy smile." Enjoy the weekend and go for the gusto!

Thursday, May 17, 2007

Peyton Manning Just Got D*ck-Slapped in the Face

EPSN just released their pre-season power rankings for the upcoming NFL season which has your very own New England Patriots rated #1 followed by a distant second Indianapolis Colts. I mean, Manning may in fact hang himself in his bathroom tonight with his belt. He obviously has an inferiority complex when it comes to Mr. Perfect Tom Brady, and now going into his first season after winning the Super Bowl, he's not even ranked #1. He's probably crying on the phone to his mom right now.

Bring on the Bubonic Plague

So, I just got home from a long day of sweating my bizzalls off landscaping, and I plop my useless body down at the computer to search for today's best news stories to write about. Mind you, I'm skipping over the two articles that read "Man Puts Toddler in Microwave" and "Three Infants Found in Day Care Closet" because I just can't help but think that people are actually trying to rid the earth of toddlers. But on MSNBC.COM I find an article that baffles me, "Beyond blisters: Herpes has an upside." Ummmm, speak into my good friggin' ear....did you just write about herpes having an upside? I $hit you not, so I am actually going to post the article:

The herpes family of viruses can have a surprising upside — it can protect against the bubonic plague and other bacterial contagions, at least in mice. Research into whether a similar mechanism applies to humans and other mammalian hosts should be conducted, said viral immunologist Skip Virgin at Washington University School of Medicine in St. Louis. "There may be symbiotic advantages to chronic infections with these viruses." These new results do not mean people should go out and get infected with herpes, Virgin stressed. They probably already are. Nearly all humans become infected with multiple herpes virus family members during childhood. These germs not only include the herpes simplex viruses, which lead to cold sores and possibly genital herpes, but also the diseases responsible for chickenpox and "mono," as well as several less well-known ailments. Herpes infections have bedeviled animals for more than 100 million years.

It should be noted that there was no author associated with this article. I find the fact that someone would actually write that herpes could possibly help fight against viruses and the "bubonic plague" absolutely fu*king nuts. Screw it, maybe I should just go raw dog every friggin' hooker on the east coast and pick up gonorrhea and syphilis while I'm at it. Hell, maybe I'll go to South Africa and bang as many girls as I can until I get AIDS, because maybe AIDS helps fight off allergies in lab orangutans. Get my point here. I don't care if getting herpes would guarantee that I would live until I am about the fact that I don't want sores on my d*ck every so often. I actually value getting laid....when it happens....and I don't want anything messing that up. For some reason, I just can't picture some broad wanting to suck me off when my penis looks like someone scrubbed it with a Brillo pad.

Everyone reading this is probably on Valtrex anyways, so you can all go to hell. I'll take on the Bubonic Plague and toddlers without herpes, thank you very much.

Revisiting The Spanish Paralympians

Back in 2000, the Spanish Paralympic Committee produced fake documents for 10 of the 12 members on their Paralympics basketball team -- falsely claiming that they had IQ's below 85.

With a "standout" performance, their intellectually able team captured the gold medal in a tournament for the intellectually disabled. It was soon discovered that the majority of their team members had no mental deficiencies to speak of and their medals were stripped.

What makes the story stranger? The story was brought to light by a Spanish journalist who joined the basketball team to uncover the scandal. To make the roster, it was not required of him to complete any medical or psychological tests -- all he had to do was complete 6 sit-ups and a blood pressure test.

Relating to the above picture (and their seatbelts)...for some reason, I cannot contain myself. Am I going to hell??

It's Just Massage Oil......I Swear!

OK, so Tom Porros could be the creepiest guy on the planet. He was indicted on one count of public sexual indecency and one count of assault last Friday. The story goes like this. Porros apparently had gained some notoriety from being a former arena league football pickle, and had been involved with coaching women's track at Saguaro High School in Arizona since 2003. Last week, he invited one of his female long-jumpers over to his house to watch videos of other long-jumpers, talk about technique, and he also offered to give her an "athletic massage" (how many of us have used the latter technique). According to the girl, going over to Porros' home was something that many of her teammates did and claimed it was helpful in their 'development'.

When she arrived, there was soft music playing in his attic. Porros immediately asked her to get into her two-piece and sit on a medicine ball. After briefly rubbing her shoulders, he asked her to flip on her stomach as he began to massage the area right under her butt cheeks.

Porros proceded to kiss her neck, back, and bum. Porros then said that "if she had any questions about sex, he would answer them"! According to the report, the aforementioned girl became alarmed when he ejaculated on her, but Porros claimed that it was just 'massage oil'......(MASSAGE OIL!......good save, buddy) so, that apparently put her mind at ease. As she was leaving his house, her coach had one last piece of advice for her. If she saw his son outside, she should tell him they were just "watching sports videos".

Ok, ok...I have so many thoughts about this I don't know where to start. One, did this guy really beat off on this chick and claim it to be massage oil? And if so, how did he manage to balance himself....think about it? Two, how could this chick not completely freak out? It's been my experience that girls H-A-T-E it when you randomly beat off on them. And, typically, they can tell the difference between a little giz and massage oil. Three, this guy is a straight up perv.

In closing, I'd like to reiterate a point I've held near and dear to my heart for a long time. If you're an older dude and coach girl's sports, you're automatically a creep unless you prove otherwise.


Ichiro Is 'Out To Lunch'

In a rare interview with Ichiro, USA Today's Jon Saraceno captured the following gems:

"Once I turn 40, I can become a pitcher. I'm kind of serious about it. But I'll have to learn to throw a knuckleball. Right now, I could be a normal pitcher, who can top out at 95 mph with a fastball."

On Tiger Woods' athleticism..."Tiger is a great golfer, but ... when you say athlete, I think of Carl Lewis. When you talk about golfers or race-car drivers, I don't want to see them run. It's the same if you were to meet a beautiful girl and go bowling. If she's an ugly bowler, you are going to be disappointed."

Re-read that last sentence. What does that mean? I need to consult the replay booth for further clarification...

Big Splash

Here we go folks, it's time for the Lytedogg. I don't have too much time, I'm gonna pass out any minute. However, I feel like I should put my two cents in on a few of the issues that "The Win Column" has brought up.

Number one, I appreciate being allowed into such a solid group of people. I've known many of the posters and readers for years, although I wish I didn't, I will admit having knowledge of their existence. Don't think that means anything, I also believe in dinosaurs (despite crazy Carl Everett's bible explanation).

So here is where I express my thoughts. Bonds, although a hated public figure, is probably the best overall player we have seen so far (so far meaning that A-Rod and, in my opinion Miguel Cabrera, are still building their resumes). Who gives a f*ck what he has taken, he is still top notch as far as pure hitters go.

As far as the Red Sox-Spankees dialogue, let's let it play out. I'm with the rest of Red Sox Nation, that Chieftan should learn a thing or two about sports before claiming to be knowledgable. I mean, he is banking his season on two pitchers that consistently get hurt (Mussina, Pettitte), a rookie that will get blown out because he will throw way too many innings (Hughes), and a 45 year "OLD MAN" that is gonna learn what it means to be a laughing stock. In the meantime, we can just laugh about the fact that we are 26-12, and we can only see the Yankees in our rear view because we slowed down so we could collect our home run balls against their sub-par pitching staff. Word is born.

As far as the hot chicks, no complaints there - keep it up. I especially appreciate any Jessica Alba posts, so keep those coming.

I'd also like to say big up's to Simply Suds for making me laugh for weeks. Keep 'em coming. Stay tuned to the Lytedogg, each show is brand new and fresh.

Last of a dying breed

I'd like to extend a warm Win Column hats off to Christopher Walken. Its my opinion that he is one of the most under-rated actors of our time and its time we give credit where its due. With his unorthodox emphasis of syllables and off-beat pauses in speech he somehow manages to straddle the line of being distinct in his own style but also playing such a wide range of characters with such zest and passion it often seems like the role was written just for him which, in my opinion is the epitome of a great actor (not that I claim to know anything about acting). In his expansive career he has appeared in such movies as Deer Hunter, Batman Returns, Annie Hall, The Prophecy, Sleepy Hollow, True Romance, Pulp Fiction, Biloxi Blues, Wedding Crashers and Gigli......yes I just said Gigli which should be proof alone that this guy is the f*cking man, because he can appear in the worst movie ever made and still be a bad@ss.

That resume speaks for itself but Walken is well decorated in theater appearing in over 100 plays. Later on in his career he has taken on more unconventional and comedic roles with appearances in Joe Dirt, Fatboy Slims' video "Weapon of Choice" (he is actually classically trained in Tap and helped choreograph the arrangement), and hosting SNL 5 times and is one of only 3 people that have standing offers to host SNL (Alec Baldwin and Tom Hanks being the others). All of Walkens' movies have grossed over $1.8 billion, but he has remained humble stating in interviews that he will never turn down a role unless he is simply too busy on other projects, and regards each role as a new learning experience.

So hats off to you Mr. Walken. I think all the young actors out there would do themselves good to take a page out of your book. And without further ado.....enjoy more cowbell!!!!

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Where Are They Now?

This is a new feature which The Win Column will run, whenever we deem appropriate.

Today's missing man: VICTOR PAGE, best known to the average sports fan as Allen Iverson's running mate (likely in more ways than one) while attending Georgetown.

Before even graduating high school, Page's father (of pneumonia) and mother (of AIDS) had died. Before enrolling at Georgetown, he had already been arrested for weapon possession and cocaine possession.

After leading the Big East in scoring (22.5 PPG) during the 1996-1997 campaign, Page declared for the NBA Draft -- he went undrafted. Coincidentally, Page blames "an evening of drinking and carousing" for his draft's status freefall. Makes sense, considering his night of "carousing" caused him to miss the next morning's pre-draft camp.

Page later went 11th in the CBA Draft -- he briefly ascended to the NBA in September 1997 as part of the Minnesota Timberwolves' training camp roster, but was cut a few weeks later when he lied to team officials about getting into a fight. In turn, he returned to the CBA to play for the Sioux Falls Skyforce. When he left the team in 2001, he left as the team's all-time leading scorer. His jersey, #20, was retired in 2004. His Skyforce years were, nevertheless, marred with violence and instability. His role in "The Christmas Day Massacre," an incident which occurred on Christmas 1997, is well documented...when mid-game, he took a broom from behind the basket and chased and jabbed an opposing player with it.

In 2003, Victor Page suffered his greatest setback when he was shot in the right eye while in his childhood neighborhood (in southeast DC). Page lost his eye completely and now wears an eyepatch. Are you laughing yet?? Page claims to know the assailant, but has never revealed his identity to police. In 2004, Page was arrested for another weapons offense and plead guilty to a lesser charge to receive probation. In that same year, his cousin Jerome Stroud killed two teenagers -- prosecutors at Stroud's trial suggested that the shootings were in retaliation for the shooting of Page.

The latest word relating to Victor Page is that an independent filmmaker is working on a documentary about Page's life.

Flashback With Griffey, Jr.

While searching for blog topics, I started to research Craig Griffey. Doesn't sound familiar? Well, he is the younger brother of Ken Griffey, Jr.

I remember Craig Griffey's name because as a youngster, I was given a gold encrusted card set -- which featured the Griffey genes (Ken Sr., Ken Jr., and Craig). At the time, Ken Griffey, Jr. was the man -- he's the primary reason why I started wearing my hat backwards. Yet, at the time of this card set, rumor had it that Craig was actually the best athlete of the family.

In the end, this rumor obviously did not pan out -- as Craig Griffey's athletic credentials never extended beyond becoming a seldom used defensive back at Ohio State...and being selected in the 1991 amateur baseball draft (42nd round...never made it to the big's).

So, what am I getting ask??

How the hell did I not know that Ken Griffey, Jr. tried to kill himself in January 1988, just 7 months after being taken #1 overall by the Mariners???? Supposedly, racial slurs hurled at him by Bellingham (a Mariners' minor league affiliate located in Washington) teenagers and disagreements with his father prompted the 18-year-old to swallow 277 aspirin (no exaggeration), landing him in an intensive care unit.

"It seemed like everyone was yelling at me in baseball, then I came home and everyone was yelling at me there," Griffey told The Seattle Times when he revealed the story in 1992. "I got depressed. I got angry. I didn't want to live."

I have so many questions surrounding this revelation...

How was this story swept under the rug? To this day, why is this incident not synonymous with Griffey's name (similar to the TO situation)? Attempted suicide is a felony, thus, is Griffey a convicted felon? If not, why isn't he? Only a year later (as a 19-year-old), how was Griffey (no matter how talented) able to convince Mariners management that he was ready to man CF for a major league organization? A candy bar was named after him, a mere 15 months after he tried taking his own life? I could continue on for hours...

A Soccer Game That I Condone

Sex Sells: Exhibit A...

Legs for days, chest-bumps, sick penalty kicks, team showers, a$$ slaps...SIGN ME UP!!!

Toddlers' Turning It Up A Notch

In a related story to "Toddler Gets Served," it has been reported to The Win Column that 10-month old Howard "Bubba" Ludwig of Chicago, after seeing the previous post AND with the help of his father, has applied for and recieved a FOID card thus allowing him to purchase and possess firearms and ammunition within the state limits. Ludwig was allowed to do this because of the a$$-backwards loophole in the law that does not enforce any age limits on these permits. Bubba's father got the great idea to apply his son for a gun, after his father bought Bubba a 12-gauge Beretta shotgun as a gift (keep in mind the kid is 10 MONTHS OLD!).

Now this could easily be brushed off as just another example of how completely absurd the mid-west actually is. However, I'm not fooled. I'm going on record as calling this for what it is......a guerrilla warfare tactic by this nation's toddlers. I for one say bring it on toddlers! You think us adults are scared that you can get guns in Illinois. Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh we're shakin' in our friggin' boots. If a toddler ever pulls a gun on me next time I'm in Chicago, I'll pull a round-house kick to his head like our breakdancing friend did.

Carson Palmer Doesn't Get It

For the past few years, Dallas Mavericks Owner Mark Cuban has stated on several occasions that "there is no such thing as bad publicity". Until now, I have wholeheartedly agreed. No more!

Carson Palmer is the exception to this rule of thumb. He will never live this decision down!

What the hell would make Palmer want to take part in this endorsement??? This is an ad for John Amaechi...and ONLY John Amaechi.

Man Overboard

Since I am overly addicted to fishing again, I felt the need to see a lunker reeled in on Youtube, because I can't seem to catch any around here. I came across this video of an approximately 8lb bass, and I was furious. There is red in my eyes like in Teen Wolf before Scott becomes Wolfy. The kid holding the camera has to be the most friggin annoying jerk ever to film a video. What the hell is the matter with this kid? I can honestly say that if I ever went fishing with a mongloid like this, he'd go overboard, right after he got a righty nighty with an oar. You can obviously tell this kid's never been laid. He's actually this excited for this long over someone else's catch. He didn't even catch the god damn thing. I think he may want to f*ck the fish, in whatever hole he could find. The fact that nerds like this catch lunkers really chaps my a$$. They should be at the local high school math team meeting, as opposed to catchin' beauties like this. Now if you'll excuse me, I am going to go trade in my car for a boat, and fish until my fat fingers fall off. There's a pig of a bass out there somewhere, and when I catch it I'm gonna look it right in the eye and say, "You're a filthy pig of a fish, and I like that about you."

What the Hell Are these Jerkoffs Thinking?

There isn't much I can write about this, except for the fact that these losers have way too much time on their hands. Anyone who played Mike Tyson's Punchout as much as I did should clearly know that this is a Don Flamingo fight, followed by the jogging session, followed by a Tiger Lily fight. Who loses to Tiger Lily? I could beat that guy passed out, blacked out, and half dead. These kids should relax on the play and go to McDonalds because they look deathly skinny. Actually, they should just call Kelly Clarkson and get on her diet. She looks like a god damn swine these days.

Tuesday, May 15, 2007


The Win Column's favorite graces the cover of June's GQ Magazine. Prepare to see a lot more of her on here (not that ANYONE should mind), as she stars in six movies in the upcoming year.

...On men and their relentless eyeballing: “When you see the camera right here, you’re like, ‘Uh, that’s my crotch… I’m going to stand over here.’ You know? Cameramen are just horny sometimes.”

Jessica...I've got news for ya -- it's not just cameramen! And, relating to your recent comments about "being taken more seriously as an actress"...Step #1 in this process should be cutting ties with your boy-toy. Your sex appeal is your "talent" -- work with what you've got, sweetheart.

Toddler Gets Served

Put your toddler on damn leash!!!

I'm Talkin' Boy Band A$$ Here

I'm so friggin' jealous of Nick Lachey it isn't even funny. I'd seriously become an amputee just to live the life that this guy has lived so far. First of all, he did headline a pretty gay boy band, but I'm sure there were screaming teenagers everywhere ready to watch him drop his drawers backstage for some hanky panky. Then, he gets to be the guy to de-flower Jessica Simpson, when she was in her prime, and stupid smokin' hot. I'm sure they participated in every sex act known to man. And what was Nick doing when he wasn't showing Jessica what a "Dirty Sanchez" is.....he was drinking Miller Lite's, watching sports, and spending Jessica's hard earned money. That's what I'm friggin talkin' about. I can't think of a better life than this guy. Live in a mansion, drive sick cars, bang a ridiculously hot wife, and pretty much be on vacation 24/7.

Just when you think that life couldn't get any better.....Nick divorces Jessica right before she's about to become an emotional and physical train wreck. He gets a big settlement, alimony, and then he lays down a whacker. He starts hookin' up with single hot chicks everywhere. Kristin from Laguna Beach, etc. His pecker probably didn't realize all the goodies it was missing. It was probably like shooting fish in a barrel for this guy. Then he lands the dime of all dimes....he starts gettin' after it with Vanessa Manillo, who is just unbelievably hot to me. She could choke me out while we do it for all I care. I'd do just about everything and anything that would stay within the Constitution to get her in the sheets. She likes sports, isn't as retarded as Jessica Simpson, and her body is R-I-D-I-C-U-L-O-U-S. She openly tongues the hell out of him and rides him wherever they go.

Good job, Nick. Even though I personally think you're a pickle...I respect the fact that you're spending your ex-wife's fortune, getting laid...and getting paid.

Stick Me, Mick!

Philly's lone sports hero, Rocky Balboa, has been busted for steriods. Does this come as a surprise to anybody??

In an Australian court, Sylvester Stallone, 60, plead guilty to HGH importation (he was caught with 48 vials) and testosterone possession.

We await Curt Schilling's take on this in his next scheduled WEEI appearance...

My Favorite Sox Team Since Big Mo and the Gator

The Boston Red Sox now have an 8 1/2 game lead in the AL EAST and are baseball's best team with a 26-11 record. Last night Dice-K was absolutely amazing. This is why we mortgaged the future around this guy. His stuff was electric, Fenway Park was crazy as hell, and the Detroit Tigers looked like the 2003 team that won 2 games in two months. Jim Leyland, who I respect as much as any manager in baseball (his knowledge of the game is second to none) said, "I was very impressed. He's the real deal." Dice-K baffled hitters with an unreal balance of mid 90's fastballs, a stupid curve ball, and an absolutely unhittable change up. And although certain individuals on this blog like to rip Matsuzaka, keep in mind he became only the fourth 5-game winner in the American League. That's not something to look past.

Are the 2007 Boston Red Sox perfect? Not by any means. Coco, Drew, Lugo, and Pedroia all need to step up their games in order for this team to reach its ultimate goal. But I'm telling you that by watching this team, I like it better than the World Series team. I'm glad Johnny Damon and Kevin Millar aren't making stupid comments after every win about cowboys, cavemen, and beards. This team shows up to the park, and just gets the job done. They just don't quit. Rallying from a 5-0 deficit the other night in the bottom of the ninth? That's when real teams show what they are made of.

After last night's shellacking of the Tigers, I hope the Red Sox went over to Tequila Rain and got weird until the sun came up. I hope someone paid for Kevin Youkilis to get laid, he's one ugly son of a b*tch. I hope Big Papi went home with 6 chicks and had the kind of orgy that even late night Skin-a-Max wouldn't even dream of airing at 1 AM. Keep up the good work fellas, I'll be blacking out on Yawkee Way very soon, and I expect a few more finger points out of you Manny. I'll yell so god damn loud at you again, that I pop the toddler's ear drums in front of me. What the hell does that kid have to hear for anyway? I'm doing him a favor so he doesn't have to listen to his own miserable, smug life.

He's Got the Rings and the Seeds

I'm not going to throw stats out there, because I will be the first person to admit that I know more about massage parlors than I do about basketball, but I loved what I saw out of Robert Horry last night. With 18 seconds left and Game 4 seemingly out of reach, Horry absolutely leveled Steve Nash out of bounds like a special teams football specialist getting "crack back" blocked out of bounds on a Sunday episode of JACKED UP! Horry sent that little midget out of bounds and stood like a proud parent over the lifeless body of Steve Nash, who looks like a friggin' perv to begin with. I like this hard foul, in fact, I think there should be a little more contact like this in the NBA to spice things up. Horry set the tone for the rest of the series. You think all he did was fire up the Suns? Wrong. Stoudemire and Diaw left the bench during the altercation, which is a definite no-no too daffy. According to league standards, they should be suspended one game and miss an absolutely crucial Game 5 in Phoenix on Wednesday. You can bet your a$$ that the Spurs are going to fired up and show up to play. I like what I saw out of them last night. They're not getting pushed around by the Suns, they're gonna do whatever it takes to bring the title back to the land of Mexicans and oil.

Mr. Horry, that was an excellent flagrant foul on your part. You bodied the hell out of midget boy, and I hope he's rubbing BenGay all over his grundle as we speak. You have six rings, which is ridiculously impressive to say the least. You've probably pounded more a$$ in more cities than any of us could ever dream of. So call an escort and pat yourself on the back this morning. I think you may have won the series for the Spurs with one split second decision to play dirty. I like that out of you, you friggin' stud.

As my good friend Tom Jackson would say on Monday Night Countdown...."STEVE NASH, YOU GOT.......JACKKKKKKKKEDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD UPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP."

Monday, May 14, 2007

Who is Sonya Aragon???

Sonya Aragon (real name: Sarah Shahi) is the stripper / college student that helped Tony "release" himself following Christopher's death in last night's Sopranos episode.

Sarah Shahi, 27, is a dime. Breathtaking. She is a former Dallas Cowboys cheerleader -- and of Iranian descent.

Shahi was tabbed as #66 on Maxim's "Hot 100 of 2006". She's also a brown belt in hot!

Bravo, Sopranos...BRAVO!!!

Christopher Moltisanti's Farewell Tribute

One of television's best all-time characters was killed off last night.

(Moment of silence)

This dark episode can only foreshadow bad karma for Tony. In the coming episodes, someone Tony is close to is going to take a hit. It's his turn to feel the pain which he has caused so many. Whom will it be??

It should be noted that Tony put the final nail in Chris' coffin...just as it was scripted in "Cleaver". Demons act in mysterious ways...

(By the way, I love YouTube).

Fights I'd Like to See in an Illegal Fighting Ring

Can we please get over Mike Vick and this ridiculous dog fighting ring. It must be a slow news day, because this story is lamer than Bo Jackson's knee. Do you really care about this? The Falcons stink, the NFC stinks, and I'm almost positive most people reading this blog are Pats fans and would agree that they are the runaway favorites to win the Besides, I know most of you perverts do things that are waaaaaaaay creepier than a dog fighting ring (myself included). That said, here are some head-to-head bouts I'd pay money to see in an illegal fighting ring, so Mike Vick, if you're listening and can make this happen let me know......

1. Chieftain vs. Richard Simmons in a straight up sweatin' to the oldies dance off. First one to drop loses.

2. A-Rod vs. Rosie O'Donnell in an open-fisted slap fight. First one to run away with their arms flailing loses (bet the house on Rosie).

3. Two teams of two midgets apiece in a steal cage match. Every weapon possible in the ring. First team to hog-tie and string up one of their opponents wins.

4. Kevin Youkilis vs. Julian Tavarez in a staring contest. The first one to cringe because of the others' hideousness loses (to ease the shock factor of this for the fans, I propose two smokin' hot chicks make out in the ring between rounds).

5. The Notre Dame Fighting Irish leprechaun vs. the Purdue Boilermaker in a bare knuckles fight.


Get Off Griffey's Jock

This past Saturday, a random Dodgers fan engaged in some serious smack talk with none other than Ken Griffey, Jr. According to "Dodger Town Griff's" (the fan in question) Myspace blog, the exchange went as follows...

Last night at the Dodger game we sat right next to Cincinnati's dugout, 4th row box. They are by far the best seats I've had for a game. We were getting eye contact from all the players, when I decided I would give the Dodgers an extra edge...I was going to try and get in Ken Griffey Jr's head a little bit. He had to walk right by us to get to the dugout and I just couldn't help myself. So I started with the basics: YOU SUCK..SHOULDN'T YOU BE ON THE DL...TOO OLD FOR CENTER....that kind of stuff. Well, by the 2nd inning he was looking right at me, giving me the looks. When he walks in from the 6th inning, he decided he had enough and came over to talk some smack. He called me some fat references, which was hilarious and then he told me I couldnt touch the threads on his jock...

I then told him to show me what he's got, that he talks a big game, and then I told him to limp back to the dugout where he belongs...and I even said some things about his Mom. I told him I might be fat, but I could still play center field. It was an incredible exchange to say the least. After the 6th inning, he walks out and stops to talk to me, holding a brown paper bag in his hand. He motions to throw it to me and I told him no, I know that trick. He laughs and says catch it, so I put up my hands and he tosses it over. He wouldn't leave until I opened it and when I finally did, the whole place erupted with laughter. Griffey threw me his jock...

If I weren't hangin' with Lytedogg on Saturday night, I would be convinced that "Dodger Town Griff" is, indeed, Lytedogg. They are's weird.

Jack Lambert Would Bite Your Face Off

Hey Mike Vick, listen up you friggin' punk. You're a disgrace to the game of football, the city of Atlanta, your owner Arthur Blank, and your new coach Bobby Petrino, who doesn't really need any distractions entering his first season with your pathetic offense. You got Joe Horn, who when healthy, will be the most legitimate weapon you've ever had. No more excuses. I think you look like a complete jerk when you throw the ball downfield....and if you hadn't had Crumpler for the last few seasons, you're numbers would resemble the local Pop Warner QB who hands off 98% of offensive plays and only plays 9 games. I personally got a good laugh at the earlier post about you being one of the best athletes in the world. Someone actually thought you'd be a shut down corner in the NFL....I have no idea how one would come to believe something so asinine, but hey, people are naive.

You organized a pit bull fighting ring on your property. Admit it, you did. How can you not know that there are beast pit bulls biting each others dic*s off at your own house? The "I didn't know what was going on" excuse is lame, shameful, and pretty much sums up your entire life. You used to spread herpes around from city-to-city like Johnny Appleseed under your alias "Ron Mexico" until some hooker actually had to sue you to smarten you up. You obviously had pot in that water bottle at the airport, but there just wasn't enough evidence to charge you with anything, or you probably gave the officer a rolled up $100 bill with coke residue on it. You're a jerk, your brother's a punk, you're both complete douchebags. If it weren't for football, you'd be in jail. You don't give a damn about anything except Mike Vick. I'm sure you're the kind of teammate that I'd like to clock right in the side of the head. Prima donna attitude, show up whenever you loser. If Jack Lambert were your teammate, things would be different, real different. The greatest middle linebacker of all-time would bite your friggin' nose off and spit it on the 50 yard line out of spite. These days of glory football are long over...but I'll tell you what, that's the way it should be. There needs to be an enforcer on each team to keep the degenerates like you from getting out of line. Step out of line, guess what...Jack will fight you after practice, during practice, or at the local bar while you're at the jukebox. You need your a$$ kicked, and I think a 1973 Jack Lambert would be just what the doctor ordered.

Have another lousy season. You suck at QB. Break a leg.