Jack Lambert Would Bite Your Face Off

Hey Mike Vick, listen up you friggin' punk. You're a disgrace to the game of football, the city of Atlanta, your owner Arthur Blank, and your new coach Bobby Petrino, who doesn't really need any distractions entering his first season with your pathetic offense. You got Joe Horn, who when healthy, will be the most legitimate weapon you've ever had. No more excuses. I think you look like a complete jerk when you throw the ball downfield....and if you hadn't had Crumpler for the last few seasons, you're numbers would resemble the local Pop Warner QB who hands off 98% of offensive plays and only plays 9 games. I personally got a good laugh at the earlier post about you being one of the best athletes in the world. Someone actually thought you'd be a shut down corner in the NFL....I have no idea how one would come to believe something so asinine, but hey, people are naive.

You organized a pit bull fighting ring on your property. Admit it, you did. How can you not know that there are beast pit bulls biting each others dic*s off at your own house? The "I didn't know what was going on" excuse is lame, shameful, and pretty much sums up your entire life. You used to spread herpes around from city-to-city like Johnny Appleseed under your alias "Ron Mexico" until some hooker actually had to sue you to smarten you up. You obviously had pot in that water bottle at the airport, but there just wasn't enough evidence to charge you with anything, or you probably gave the officer a rolled up $100 bill with coke residue on it. You're a jerk, your brother's a punk, you're both complete douchebags. If it weren't for football, you'd be in jail. You don't give a damn about anything except Mike Vick. I'm sure you're the kind of teammate that I'd like to clock right in the side of the head. Prima donna attitude, show up whenever you want....you loser. If Jack Lambert were your teammate, things would be different, real different. The greatest middle linebacker of all-time would bite your friggin' nose off and spit it on the 50 yard line out of spite. These days of glory football are long over...but I'll tell you what, that's the way it should be. There needs to be an enforcer on each team to keep the degenerates like you from getting out of line. Step out of line, guess what...Jack will fight you after practice, during practice, or at the local bar while you're at the jukebox. You need your a$$ kicked, and I think a 1973 Jack Lambert would be just what the doctor ordered.

Have another lousy season. You suck at QB. Break a leg.