Friday, May 18, 2007

And With the 3rd Pick in the Draft, The Boston Celtics Select......

Yi Jianlian, center, from China. Don't think it could happen? Think again. Scouts are absolutley obsessed with the 7-5 center. He's not like Yao Ming....he is much more agile, can run, shoot, dribble, and probably caulk the wagon and walk across the river in Oregon Trail.

7-5 is so goddamn tall. That's almost 2 feet taller than my short, pudgy self. If I hung out with this guy, he'd get a ball tap immediately...and I could do it overhand, which would surely bruise his junk. I can't even imagine walking around that high up. You need special cars, special clothes...in fact, you're pretty much right up there with the bearded lady at the local carnival. Does this guy get laid? I mean he is a super star in China, but how could any chick actually hop into the sack with this beast? Wouldn't they rather have a 5-7 Italiano whispering sweet nothings into their ear? You're right, probably not, but I'd still take my pants off anyway. Can't hurt, right?

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

is it me or are all those dunks awful?

Chieftain said...

He's only 7'0" and plays PF...doesn't possess a single low-post move. No way he goes #3 (probably top 5 though).