Saturday, September 1, 2007

Vanessa Bryant is a 10...

In the past, we've featured photos of Vanessa Bryant, the wife/arm candy of Chieftain's favorite Kobe Bryant, 29.

However, in this music video, you're able to get an up-close and personal look of exactly what I'm talking about. Vanessa Bryant, 25, is the female in the shiny silver get-up that continuously pops in-and-out of frames (in the low-rider...she later shows up in a few frames wearing a red top).

For the record, this is the exact video in which the couple met. In November 1999, Vanessa was working as a back-up dancer in the above video while Kobe was working on his album in the same building (an album which was never released).

* Meaningless Trivia of the Day: Vanessa Bryant is the only person in the world to own an automatic-only Lamborghini MurciƩlago. For her 19th birthday (2001), Kobe gave her the car as a gift. According to car enthusiast magazine Dub, upon realizing Vanessa could not drive a manual transmission, Kobe had the car converted to an automatic by having a special adapter for the transmission installed. The estimated cost of the car after conversion and customization was $400,000.

For Your Holiday Weekend Viewing Pleasure...

As we shift gears from yesterday's embarrassing soccer quarrel, this hockey compilation is sure to get the blood pumping.

And...regarding the reader that commented a few days ago about how "you NEVER let someone throw the first punch," I kindly direct your attention to the 1:48 mark. Take notes...

Friday, August 31, 2007

Breaking News: Rodney Harrison Suspended 4 Games For HGH

The NFL has suspended New England Patriots safety Rodney Harrison 4 games for violating the league's substance-abuse policy.

Earlier today, Harrison admitted to both federal investigators and Roger Goodell that he had been using Human Growth Hormone.

Initial speculation indicates that Harrison has been a continuous user of HGH for at least 2+ years. More to come...

Diogo vs. Luis Fabiano Fight

Friday's CAT FIGHT of the day...

When did this occur - and why haven't I been informed of this clip before now?

These guys look much more like synchronized swimmers than soccer players. If they weren't broken up, how long do you think this flailing would have continued?

There is nothing more I can say about this clip to make it funnier than it already is.

Farts are Funny

I can't stand to watch my favorite blog go down in flames. You people should be ashamed of yourselves for writing such miserable posts since my retirement. So, with that being said, I am pulling a Jordan and throwing my hat back into the ring.

What's funnier than farts? Hot chicks farting and making fart sounds over existing clips and videos. It wasn't until a couple weeks ago that I admitted to myself that girls actually do crap. I thought they just pissed my whole life and refused to believe they could take dumps and diarreahs....but hey, such is life.

Enjoy the long weekend. Black out, make out, do whatever it is that makes your day. Summer is almost over....but it doesn't mean that when the leaves change color you still can't be a weird bastard.

Jessica Alba Does Germany

It's long been a Win Column mandate that all Jessica Alba spreads must be posted on the blog. For that reason, I present you Alba's latest work via Germany's VIP/Cinema Magazine.

Not to be the bearer of bad news, but it looks like Alba and Cash Warren are officially back together. Everyone else in lose (even if she does actually have herpes).

Anyway, is it me or is it about time Jessica gets her a$$ back on the beach...for the purpose of once again perfecting the "a$$ bend" photo that she has patented these past few years? I beg you, we all beg you...

Bud Selig is at It Again

Yesterday, Bud Selig put himself on TV in Houston for the sole purpose of endorsing Cecil Cooper as the next manager of the Houston Astros. Whaaaaat? This man has more personal agendas than the President of the United States (amongst countless other examples, he moved the Brewers to the NL in order to create a Cubs/Brewers rivalry). Not surprisingly, Cooper played 10 years (1977-1987) for the Milwaukee Brewers when Selig owned the team.

During the years which Selig owned the Brewers, I can only imagine how he would have reacted if Bowie Kuhn and/or Peter Ueberroth would have mandated who managed his team. YOU CAN'T DO SUCH A THING. Bud, baseball is not a dictatorship! If the Astros believe Cooper gives them the best chance of winning, then he will be hired. Otherwise, both you and Cooper will be shown the door. What more can one ask for than a 40+ game audition???

Shut the F up, and actually do your due diligence. After all, you skipped out on the Home Run record, something even your lover (Hank Aaron) made a point to be a part of.

Whether Terry Francona wears his game jersey under his pullover is more important than EVERYTHING else that Selig has slid under the rug in the past decade??? At any point in the game, is Francona going to insert himself as a pinch-runner? MLB's front office is embarrassing.

You're a soft, indecisive, and weak-minded individual that I, for one, can't wait for the day in which you step down (end of 2009 season). Bob Costas and/or John Schuerholz, step right up! There have never been smaller shoes to fill...

Thursday, August 30, 2007

The Win Column Officially Introduces You to AUDRINA PATRIDGE, from MTV's "The Hills"

Yes, I watch the show. For all you haters, crack jokes all you want. After all, isn't this the sort of ammunition that you crave? I get it, "the blog sucks", "all Yankee fans are gay", "I'm a pickle", etc. Blah, blah, blah! I'm over it.

Anyway, Audrina is obviously fine. My only question is...what the hell is the deal with that terrible tattoo? Was that a "Justin Bobby" idea? For the record...if you've never seen the show, you'll have no idea what I'm talking about? If such is the case, just view the pictures - and move along. Oh, and be sure to throw stones in the process. Whatever gets you through the day. Haters.

* Photos courtesy of

Carmen is Ready for Football...Are You? (NSFW)

#2 LSU at Mississippi State ... Tonight, 8 PM (ESPN)

Game of the Weekend: #15 Tennessee at #12 California ... Saturday, 8 PM (ABC)

Sleeper Game of the Week: #19 Florida State at Clemson ... Monday, 8 PM (ESPN)

FYI...Clemson has the best RB combination in the entire country. And, yes, I realize just how good both Darren McFadden and Felix Jones are. CJ Spiller and James Davis are that good. Spiller is the most elusive player in the country, even more so than Steve Slaton (my preseason Heisman pick). Just wait and see - the proof will be in the pudding.

* Seriously, these are the 3 best pitchers that the Red Sox have??? Early October exit!! No joke...most of the contributors on this site could hit Curt Schilling's straight 86 MPH fastball.

Anyway, it must be crunch time -- yes, the Sox will still win the East...but, Manny is down again (surprise, surprise)...and the Sox suck when the games actually start to matter. Rest easy.

Last question -- are the Yankees "playoff starters" the best in history, or is the Sox offense just this bad? Embarrassing, to say the least.

Testosterone Thursday = CAT FIGHT

As we switch gears from cougars, I should note that this cat fight actually got my competitive juices flowing. For two chicks going at it, this ranks right at the top.

The girl in the black pants is gully! She did what she was supposed to (she let her opponent attack first, and capitalized on her miscues)...and executed her plan to a tee.

The punch that won it for her? The hit she landed 13 seconds in. The other girl never recovered.

Lastly, what's better...a party in the woods or a fight in the woods? Ahhhhh, high school...

Cougar Alert

Elle MacPherson is 43 in these recent photos???

Wow...I mean, she hit popularity peak in the late 80's -- and almost 20 years later, she still rocks a body like this? It's no wonder why she's often referred to as "The Body".

As a side note...when I think Ms. Elle, I think Seinfeld. After all, she starred in a great episode in which she played naked backgammon with Kramer while he attended the Cayman Islands.

What Is This Girl Thinking?

As Bossip ( reports, Mike Tyson was seen with the above chick last night in West Hollywood.

The first thing that caught my attention in this photo was the way in which Tyson was holding/grabbing this girl's arm. Are you kidding me?? At any moment, I anticipate Tyson to attack and start nibbling on her ear. Like I mentioned yesterday, I haven't heard a peep about Robin Givens in years...and I don't think it's a coincidence. Needless to say, the above girl stands no chance. Tyson is going to "beat it" like she's Trevor Berbick.

Anyway, I'm most interested in determining whether this chick went out with Tyson on her free will or is simply just a prostitute looking to land herself some Mike Tyson feces, the hot commodity that it has become...

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Iron Lungs

Winnie Langley started smoking only days after the First World War broke out in June 1914 when she was just seven-years-old . . .

She has no intention of quitting, even after the nationwide ban forced tobacco-lovers outside.

Speaking at her 100th birthday party, Winnie said: "I have smoked ever since infant school and I have never thought about quitting.

OK, this lady started blowing back lung darts at the age of 7?!?!? Incredible. The Daily Mirror reports that on August 27, 2007, Winnie celebrated her 100th birthday by smoking her 170,000th heater. That makes Winnie's lifetime batting average somewhere around .250. For you math wizzes out there, that's a quarter pack a day for 93 years. For you smokers out there, that's hope.

There is No Stopping Mike Tyson

Have $31?? If so, you can now own Mike Tyson's $hit.
$12.75 will get you Tyson's skin cells...and $6.75 will earn you Tyson's bacteria.

Celebrity Skin and Bodily Fluids, a Los Angeles based company thats pawns off bacteria samples of celebrities.

In case you were wondering, "federal laws simply require that our samples not create an immediate threat of injury or disease propagation. Our fecal matter, urine, saliva, and sweat specimens are hermetically sealed in unbreakable plastic containers to prevent any unwanted personal injury. Bacteria and skin cells are sealed within heavy-duty glass microscope slides."

...And, what if you could obtain Courtney Love's (or some other celebrity's) vaginal fluid??

"It depends on how much you can get, the current availability of that celebrity’s specimens, and whether we have the resources to properly identify the specimen in our routine tests. Sellers of accepted specimens will usually earn roughly $500 to $1000 dollars, depending on type of specimen and quantity. Contact us directly for more information regarding this."

...Now, I've never been to L.A., but I'm beginning to think that all people in L.A. are sick and demented. I mean, this company was started by a group of former personal assistants. In my mind, L.A. is full of Spencer Pratt's.

On second thought, I would love to see this company's financials. Could it be possible that these former assistants are making a good living off this novelty? If so, I've never been more disappointed with my American peers.

Also, while we're on the topic of "Iron Mike", when's the last time anyone heard anything about Robin Givins? What happened to her?

Weigh in on this, as I need a sounding board...

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

The Real Competition on Saturday...

OK, what is the main "material" for this fine blog...chicks, sports and basically R rated humor... well, I'll try to combine two of them. As all guys know, this Saturday begins the best season for sports (and not because the English Premier League is heating up), but because College FB is unleashed starting Thursday. I have always been of the mind that College is better than the NFL for many reasons (including you can start watching at noon and not stop until 3-4 AM if there is a HI home game on)....but there is another reason as well. While the NFL has "dance troupes" (really chicks that would be on pole having.. well you guys.. strategically place cash in some area), the CFB cheerleaders have that air of with that in mind, this week it is the SC 'song girls' v. The Vandal Cheerleaders...

Not really fair I know..

For all of the Golden Domers out there...


-1 for to ND for having the freaking leprechaun on there..

Vote with your comments...!!!

I Prefer This One

A "Win Column" favorite, Diane Lane gets my endorsement.

Something about her just screams "sex". Maybe it's the fact that she's loves just being thrown around on a whim -- hey, at least that's what she portrayed in "Unfaithful". And, I'm sticking to it!

Hot or Not?

Lindsay Lohan in "I Know Who Killed Me"...

Anyway, what's up with the mother listening to her kid bang?? Am I the only one to find this to be very odd?

Hot, Dumb Chicks Are The Best

Some of you may have heard the sound bite on this from EEI yesterday. The chick sounded so friggin retarded I knew she had to be an absolute smoke-show so I had to chech it out for myself. As you can imagine it came as absolutely NO surprise when I saw that Miss Teen USA South Carolina was a minx....I mean she is an absolute 10. Am I wrong? Call me crazy but the only thing hotter than a gorgeous blonde with a great body is a gorgeous blonde with a hot body that has an IQ slightly higher than a rock....seriously. Honestly, I would marry this chick in a second. I totally get her. Its like, ummmm totally about giving the children an education just important! Ignorance is bliss!


**Thanks to Chris C for the help.


Real or Fake?

If real, does this cross the line?

Monday, August 27, 2007

Baseball & Beers

Over the weekend, I received an email indicating that a bar named "Norm's Eatery and Ale House" promotes "Cheap Sex Monday's". Who cares, right? Why the hell am I blogging about this?

Well, the aforementioned bar is stationed in Seattle -- and the "Sex" part is a prefix for (Richie) Sexson. Apparently...on Monday's, this bar sells bottles of beer for Richie Sexson's batting average.

My first thought?

Seattle fans are raking in the DUI's these days. I mean, Sexson can't hit. His .211 batting average makes him a Wily Mo Pena clone.

$2.11 beers + baseball games + playoff race = A lot of drunk patrons on Monday nights

Until tonight, I forgot about said email. But then...I watched the putrid pitcher that has become Mike Mussina. As I've said before, I hate Mike Mussina. He's a bad pitcher (can't hit spots) that b*tches and moans about EVERYTHING. Recently, especially in Boston, there has been a lot of clamoring about the "rapid downward spiral" of Mussina. I'm confused???

Mike Mussina hasn't been a good pitcher since 2003!! 4.59 ERA in 2004, 4.41 ERA in 2005, terrible from June - August last year, and a 5.53 ERA thus far this year. Wake up!! This isn't a trend, this is a history.

Bring up phenom Ian Kennedy!!!!!!!!!!! No matter what, one thing is painfully obvious -- Mike Mussina cannot make another start for the NY Yankees this year. There are only 31 games order to make the playoffs (Wild Card), the Yankees need to win at least 21 of them. Mussina is a guaranteed loss everytime he toes the rubber (3 K's in his last 3 games pitched...combined). He no longer has a fastball. He destroys the bullpen. DO THE MATH!!!

Anyway, back to my original premise. New York bars should be taking note of what bars in Seattle have started to capitalize on. If one of your own continues to fail (one that has signed a contract that cannot be moved -- a la Sexson/Mussina/JD Drew), then the city should at least be able to have fun with it. For this reason, I suggest NYC bars start serving mixed drinks which zone in on Mussina's "Lester-like" performance. $5.53 for a mixed drink in NYC?? The Win Column guarantees a packed house.

To top it off, let's recall Mussina's recent comments:

Asked if he carried any deeper concerns, Mussina said..."That they're going to take me out of the rotation? Who were they going to replace me with?"


Is This Guy Serious?

Mark Schlabach of recently reported on the decline of the ACC football conference since taking in the Big East's big three: VTech, Miami, and BC. While the Big East has certainly replenished itself with the likes of Louisville and the powerful running attack of West Virginia, lets be honest here, Mark, there is not much left after that. Big East proponents will argue that the Rutgers program, too, has developed into somewhat of a national force in recent years. Not so. Two good years does not make a program, especially when Rutgers has been playing a notoriously easy schedule just to get into the top 25. Making a run at the BCS becomes slightly less legitimate when the only top 25 teams you play are West Virginia and Lousiville, with the balance of the schedule including only UNC, South Florida, Navy, UConn, Cincinnati, and Howard in 2006, and a nearly identical schedule in 2005. 2007, you ask? Oh yeah, real tough home opener against Buffalo, guys. What, Holy Cross wasn't available? Rutgers did make a decent run and got some media pub, but on a national level they would get absolutely dominated in almost every other conference, even by the Pac-10. So, this aside has led me to the conclusion that Mark Shlabach knows d%ck about college football. Now, onto my real gripe with Schlabach article.

Instead of talking down to the ACC merely because Florida St. and Miami can't recruit quaterbacks, how 'bout sending some props to the ACC for its underrated depth? First, Wake Forest won the league last year. Second, even though the 'Deacons return a ton of starters on both sides of the ball in '07, they are still going get dominated this Saturday at the Heights. BC is a force this year. Even with an extremely difficult schedule (Wake, NC State, Ga. Tech, Army, UMass, Bowling Green, Notre Dame, VTech, FSU, Maryland, Clemson, and Miami - I challenge anyone out there to find a tougher finish than those last 6 games), expect the Eagles to play in the ACC championship game. Further, while I predict complete domination of Notre Dame, the last five teams could all be in the top 25 by the midpoint of season. BC's answer to all of this? Matt Ryan, a crazy linebacker core, and two running backs who each averaged almost five yards per carry last year. A pre-season all ACC selection, Ryan threw for almost 3,000 yards last year on a bum ankle. If he stays healthy, he is a legitimate Heisman candidate. With the great prevent defenses of T.O.B. in the rearview mirror, expect BC to win games convincingly this year. And contrary to what Mr. Shlabach may think, the rise of BC and Wake is good for the ACC and college football. These teams are legit and this year will prove it. Miami and FSU may not dominate other ACC teams like they used to, but if they did, what would the conference look like? I think it would look a lot like the Big East - two dominant teams, and one overrated team who makes a run every couple of years (See Rutgers).

Move Aside Shawn Kemp

Travis Henry's personal life was recently revealed after he received a child-support judgment in a DeKalb County, Ga., court. As a result, he has been ordered to pay $3,000 a month in child support and set up a $250,000 trust fund for one of his 9 kids.

I don't know how Travis Henry's name slipped past me when we compiled our "Father's Day" post back a couple months ago (see below link), but it did. In a story in which many blogs and radio stations have run with in the past few days, Travis Henry has 9 kids...all by different 4 different states. Move over, Shawn Kemp...Travis Henry is the new standard.

And, yes, T-Hen is only 28 years old. Recent reports have indicated that Henry once had to borrow money from the Titans after falling behind on his child support payments.

His response?

"People can judge me all they want. But only God can judge me."

...I couldn't have said it any better.

...And, now that Henry is getting paid (and a full-time starter again) -- to the tune of $22.5 million (over 5 years), I'm willing to bet the house that he won't be able to resist the temptation that comes with making #10 this year out in Denver.

For the record...from a fantasy perspective, Travis Henry (assuming health) is going to blow up in a big way this year. The question is, will he score more TD's (he had 7 last year) than he has kids?