Friday, August 10, 2007

A Friday Night Cleanser

Heres to you, The Win Column fellow bloggers and readers. As you descend to the bar (or a keg party in God's Country) near you to sketch out countless chicks only to go home with some heffer, I thought I would get your game up. Clean out those YouTube's.

Flexible Friday!

By definition, August 10th might be "Lazy Day", but I'm sure this video will have your warped little minds running wild on this Friday afternoon. For the record, my favorite position comes at the 38 second mark -- the possibilities are endless...

My question is...if this chick has enough cash to purchase those perfect implants, why is it that she can't afford a decent hair stylist?? Not to nitpick, but she is rockin' an overwhelming dose of "Rasheed Wallace spots". What the hell is going on there?

(Video seen on

Is Gary Sheffield a Hall of Famer?

I've been sitting on this post for some time now. Anyways, by my calculation, there are 11 active position players that are locked in for Cooperstown. One that's currently borderline? None other than the intimidating presence which is Gary Sheffield.

Derek Jeter, Alex Rodriguez, Manny Ramirez, Frank Thomas, Ivan Rodriguez, Ichiro Suzuki, Mike Piazza, Albert Pujols, Craig Biggio, Ken Griffey, Barry Bonds. All of the aforementioned superstars are guaranteed plaques in Cooperstown. They could all blow their knee out tonight (knock on wood), and they should all be enshrined five years from now.

Along with Sheffield...Vlad Guerrero, Jim Thome, Chipper Jones, Andruw Jones, Sammy Sosa, and Jeff Kent are all active players that reside in that next tier, as they are all currently Hall of Fame "cuff" players. For all of the "cuff" players, a persuasive argument could be made one way or the other.

Continuing with November, he will turn 39. This being his 19th full season in the big's, Sheffield has compiled the following career stats:

.297 AVG
478 HR's
1568 RBI's
238 SB's
2502 hits
1522 runs
.398 OBP
.923 OPS

...9 All-Star appearances (all while playing all over the field...SS/3B/RF/LF/DH), six Top 10 MVP finishes (no MVP awards to date), and 5 Silver Slugger awards.

For Sheff's career, his 162 game average reads as follows:

.297 AVG, 33 HR's, 109 RBI's, 17 SB's, 106 runs

Per Baseball-Reference, the 10 batters which Sheffield's stats best compare to thus far are (in order): Jeff Bagwell, Ken Griffey, Willie Stargell (HoF), Fred McGriff, Billy Williams (HoF), Duke Snider (HoF), Mickey Mantle (HoF), Eddie Mathews (HoF), Frank Thomas, and Jim Rice.

...So, tell me -- is the former 6th overall pick, who has earned $143M on the field, a future Hall of Famer?

My personal feeling? Based upon stats alone, Sheffield is a no-brainer for the Hall. Think about it...of the 10 hitters which Sheffield's numbers most resemble, 5 of them have already been inducted into the Hall -- and another 3 of them are sure-fire Hall of Famers (Bagwell, Griffey, and Thomas). However, when discussing Sheffield, many other factors come into play.

The "Steroid Era"? Did he take steroids? If so, did he do so knowingly? His hot temper? His perception through the media? The list goes on. After all, Hall of Fame credentials are not scientifically calculated. Instead, the system is based upon a human vote. And, as we all know, humans have agendas and strong opinions.

Taking everything into consideration, would I vote Gary Sheffield "in"? Yes! Although 500 HR's are no longer considered a lock for Cooperstown, Sheffield's 5-tool talents are too superior to dismiss.

Now, will he get "in"? Assuming he finishes out his current contract with the Tigers (which goes thru the 2009 season), he will eventually be inducted into baseball's Hall of just won't be on the first ballot.

Romeo Crennel Remains In Over His Head

Rotoworld is reporting that "Browns head coach Romeo Crennel says a coin flip between Derek Anderson and Charlie Frye will determine the team’s starting quarterback for Saturday’s exhibition opener."

Is Romeo Crennel serious with this tactic? This is not college. I mean, I now know why Crennel has done absolutely nothing since leaving New England. He's been an utter bust. Such a decision is directly indicative of a 10-22 career record (as head coach). The two leading roles on a professional football team should always be the head coach and the team's quarterback. Clearly, Cleveland doesn't have either one of these roles figured out.

Quite frankly, I don't care if neither Charlie Frye nor Derek Anderson has outperformed one or the other to date. As head coach, Crennel's job is to put his quarterbacks in a position in which they can succeed. Athletes are creatures of habit. This is not rocket science. For all intents and purposes, it doesn't matter who starts the preseason opener. What does matter is that the team is all on the same page -- all successful teams have defined roles, even if those change from game-to-game. Imagine if Bill Belichick started "flipping coins" in 2001...Bledsoe as 'heads' and Brady as 'tails'??? This is crazy talk!

It's painfully obvious that the job is wide open. Crennel wants to see how they "react in surprise situations"??? Hellooooo, what is practice for...what are two-a-days for? The that a team is PREPARED for all situations -- a team that is SURPRISED with certain situations is a team that goes, well, 10-22 in the past two seasons!

** Odd fact of the day: Romeo's father, Joseph, is an avid William Shakespeare fan. Hence, the name "Romeo". One of Romeo's sisters name? None other than "Juliet". If you ask me, I'm creeped out by the Crennel's.

Did They Just Refer to Pacman Jones as a "Team Player"?

This TNA promo refers to Pacman in the following manner:

Misunderstood...Player...Game Breaker...Risk Taker...A Man...Team Player.

Really?? I'm confused -- how is one a "team player" if he has been banned from his team's facilities for the upcoming season?? As Pacman wrestles for TNA, how is the former 6th overall pick helping his "team" out this year??

I'm pretty sure Roger Goodell's Pacman video would have gone in a different direction -- something to the tune of:

Thug...Criminal...Waste of Talent...Irresponsible...Problem Child.

Happy Lazy Day!!!!

According to, today (August 10th) marks Lazy Day, followed closely by Relaxation Day on August 15th. These may not be official holidays, but many observe these days faithfully. Being that it's a Friday and all, we thought we'd help you come up with crafty ways that you can celebrate the holidays, while on the job...

Disclaimer: If you take the following advice, you'll most likely either get demoted or fired (or worse). At the very least, you'll probably be temporarily despised and shunned by your co-workers. If you don't really care about any of these scenarios occurring, then by all means -- go for it.

Wait a minute, there's actually only one "lazy day" in the calendar year? I've already celebrated 150 of these days! Hell, Sudzie has been celebrating "lazy day" since his decision to change careers this past November!

FYI......BTW......Girls Pay Attention!!!

Oh, You Mean That's The Same Guy ?

Rick Ankiel had a complete mental breakdown on the mound in what was the most important year in his baseball career (2000). After posting an 11-7 record, 3.50 ERA, 9.98 strikeouts per nine innings....all at the age of 20....Ankiel and the Cardinals cruised into the playoffs.

Enter the nervous breakdown......

He couldn't find the 94-97 MPH fastball, or the hard 12-to-6 curve ball that he made his money with. Everything was gone.....mentally. He completely collapsed in the 3rd inning in Game 1 of the NLDS game against the Braves....yet, the Cardinals still managed to win the series and move on to the NLCS against the New York Mets.

Enter the real case of the shanks.....

Ankiel didn't even make it out of the 1st inning of Game 2. He threw 20 total pitches that day....and 5 of them soared past the catcher to the back stop. Nobody could explain what had happened to this young stud pitcher that was supposed to be the face of the franchise. It was something out of a movie....much like Tin Cup.....Ankiel just got the shanks....and simply put, could not manage to throw that ball like he had his whole life.

So let's fast forward to 2007....where Rick Ankiel clubbed 32 homers for the AAA Memphis Redbirds. That's right....32 friggin' tall jacks for the 28 year-old OUTFIELDER that hits lefty, throws lefty, and looks as natural out there as they come. Last night, in his first Major League appearance since 2004....Ankiel BLAAAAAAASTED a 3-run home run on a 2-1 curve ball from Doug Brocail into the right field seats. St. Louis completely erupted. They gave him a 2 minute standing ovation, and an unbelievable curtain call. Tony Larussa fought back tears in the post game press conference...

"Short of winning the World Series, it's the happiest I've seen our club," La Russa said. "I'm fighting my butt off to keep it together."

It's nothing short of spectacular that Ankiel is back on the Major League diamond. I think it's an unbelievable story, and I'm going to watch Cardinals games just to root for this kid on a nightly basis. Most pitchers would have given to none would have worked their a$$es off to get back to the BIGS as a power hitting outfielder.

I'm speechless.

...To see Chieftain's May 29th analysis of Ankiel, see the below link...

***Photos courtesy of YAHOO SPORTS

The Question I Must Ask Everyone......

Should it be true (and I pray to the Heavenly Father above it's not).......that Jessica Alba does indeed have herpes.....what are the chances that you guys (gulp, and girls) would bang her? I'm talking, if Jessica Alba was in your bedroom........and said "Please F*ck Me!!!! And, you can't use protection!!!" I mean.....would you? have the option of having sex with one of the most beautiful and desirable women on the planet, but you are also rolling the dice on whether or not you get an STD that is incurable to the entire world.

What do the readers of The Win Column think? Yay, or nay?

***Suds obviously will start the betting by saying that he'd take the chance because Jessica Alba is the most perfect human being he's ever seen in his 26 years of being on this planet.

The Only Reason I Like Hockey.......Barely........

Seriously, how is this game not glorified and the sole reason that hockey should exist in America. I love that so many people beat the c*ck snot out of each other, that they barely have enough mallots to finish the game. That's sick!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thursday, August 9, 2007


The L.A. Rag Mag ( is reporting that Derek Jeter gave Jessica Alba herpes?!?!?!?! It pains me to type this, but I'm sure this is going to become a much bigger local story in the coming days (every Boston outlet is sure to run with this), so I figured you may as well hear it first from either the L.A. Rag Mag or The Win Column.

The L.A. Rag Mag goes on to say the following...

"Jessica Alba used to date Derek Jeter, the serial celebrity dater, who plays for the NY Yankees. Well, our source worked for Cash Warren, her ex, and had to refill her Valtrex prescription for her on a regular basis! Guess who she got it from…that’s right…dirty Derek Jeter."

First Paris Hilton, then Mike "Ron Mexico" Vick, and now the King of NYC???

Can this be true? I mean, what is the L.A. Rag Mag???? Are they just trying to make a name for themselves? After all, the mere name of the magazine sounds unprofessional and scandalous. But hey, The Win Column is in the blogging business, and this news is certainly blog worthy.

With this news, I have so many questions. Jeter has banged nearly every American and international "10" there is. Don't you think word would have spread before now? Does Justin Timberlake have it? After all, they've been trading partners for some time now (i.e., Scarlett Johansson and Jessica Biel). How long is the "Valtrex line" today at the local Manhattan pharmacies?

As a side note...if this holds true, it's no wonder why Cash Warren is said to be devastated over the breakup with his longtime girlfriend, Jessica Alba. Not only is he never going to tap a better a$$, but he's now a single man that has potentially contracted herpes!!! Talk about a change of events...

...I'll be honest -- right now, I'm dumbfounded and deeply disappointed by this news. Similar to how Pats fans had viewed Tom Brady as invincible (before the whole baby mama drama), I have always viewed Jeter in the same light. Somebody, anybody...say it ain't so!

Suds -
knowing how much you love Alba, how are you holding up?

You Want Sports Insight?

I was perusing the upcoming schedules of all AL teams...and something stuck out to me.


What could I possibly be thinking, you're asking? Well, this could very well be uber Red Sox pitching prospect Clay Buchholz's major league debut. This past Monday, Buchholz threw yet another gem, to the tune of...

7 innings, 1 run allowed, 4 hits allowed, 9 K's, 0 BB's

Project Prospect (, another great site that ALL true baseball fans should already be familiar with, currently ranks Buchholz as the #4 prospect in the game...and that includes two players which are already in the big's (Phil Hughes at #1 and Justin Upton at #3). Ummmm, Buchholz has a 0.95 WHIP on the year??? Ya think he can help possibly solidify that 5th spot (if that's what you even want to refer to it as at this point)? What is the hold-up with this kid? For the record, Joba Chamberlain, Project Prospect's #8 prospect, was just called up...and has already demonstrated glimpses of Joel Zumaya-type stuff.

So,'s to my prediction of Buchholz making his major league debut on August 17th. No other site is willing to put their neck on the line like this. Simply put, you can't find better baseball insight than which The Win Column provides.

** As a random FYI...are you guys aware as to why Buchholz dropped to the 42nd pick in the 2005 draft?

Because he had been arrested for stealing 29 laptops from his high school and selling them. Coincidentally, I bet 29 teams are kicking themselves now.

How Do We Feel About Reggie On The C's?

I can't believe no one has posted about this yet! We all know the Celtics have been making moves like diarrhea through a digestive system (which I'm all for by the way), but have they gone too far with trying to bust Reggie Miller out of the nursing home? I mean, I spent the greater part of my childhood HATING Reggie Miller, especially because half the time he was on the court, he was whining to the ref about how he just got fouled, the other half he spent absolutely draining 3's in Spike Lee's grill. Which brings me to my point. If we have to roll out Reggie in his wheelchair to knock down a couple of clutch 3's from time-to-time, I guess I'm all for it. I'm all for the Celtics coming out with their own version of the Dream Team and absolutely embarrassing the competition in the Eastern Conference. No? God I wish the Bruins were good, too! Hockey is still around, right?

Beantown is now Titletown, baby...and everyone wants to hook their wagon up to our shooting star. Randy Moss, KG, Reggie Miller...the list goes on. Personally, I can't wait until we win a World Series, Superbowl, and NBA championship all in one year. The lid is going to blow off this town.


***On a completely different sidenote, remember when Chieftain said this:

"It's 5 games...not 6. Tonight: Wang = Automatic win, Lester = Sweep"

Wow, how right he was!

Tweet Tweet, Mothaf*cker

Trust me...I'd prefer to write my opinions about a particular sport/subject, but other than Barry Bonds, there is nothing newsworthy in sports this week. Nothing! For that reason, I'm forced to post YouTube videos all day. In the blogging world, videos are viewed as a "lazy man's post". For that, I apologize...but, for the time being, these videos are going to have to suffice.

Anyways, I'm not making this post because a useless bird/pigeon died. Been there, done that (i.e., Randy Johnson). No, I'm posting this because of that queer's reaction. Yes, the queer in the John Stockton shorts! Is he serious with those things?? So, readers...what's worse -- the queer's outfit or his reaction?

Also, random question...does PETA protest and/or make a big deal out of these types of situations? If so, you can consider me a proponent of the "People Eating Tasty Animals", a parody of the original PETA that was originated by Mike Doughney in 1996.

For the record, HOLLYWOODTUNA didn't originally find this video (as some of you may or may not claim), but they did link it to another non-English site. Because it's not in English...guess what?? I'm not giving them credit - after all, don't they know that THE WIN COLUMN only cares about the English language and nothing else? Who makes the rules? I DO!

Jelena Dokic's Bouncing Boobs

Clearly, Jelena knows what she's working. Other than making the boys go crazy, what else would make her opt to not wear a bra while playing tennis?? THE WIN COLUMN loooooves Jelena's "F It" mentality. A+ for creativity.

Anyways, my research tells me that Jelena, 24, was ranked #4 on the Tour in late 2002, but by the end of 2005 had dropped to 349th in the WTA singles rankings. And, she now currently holds the 650th spot???

What the hell happened to this "breast prodigy"? Upon thinking about it, I concluded that there are only three possible explanations...injury, modeling career, and/or boy troubles. Believe me, all chicks are crazy!

Sure enough, I search around for a minute...and what do I find? Allegations that Jelena had both been kidnapped by her boyfriend AND other allegations claiming that she had kidnapped her boyfriend. When you actually sit down and think about particular strange situations, problem solving becomes such a simplistic novelty.

(And, for the record...I located this video on my own, yet this video is sure to pop up on several blogs in the near future...with or without linking the source. Do I care? No. It's part of the blogging industry. It comes with the territory).

Jason Hirsh is a Baaaaaad Man reports the following..."a line drive that hit the right leg of Rockies pitcher Jason Hirsh during the 1st inning of Tuesday night's 11-4 victory over the Brewers did more damage than originally believed. X-rays taken on Wednesday revealed a fractured fibula. JJ Hardy's liner hit Hirsh's right calf. Hirsh picked the ball up and threw Hardy out at first base, then completed 6 innings during which he held the Brewers to 3 runs and improved his record to 5-7, with a 4.81 ERA."

Although Hirsh hasn't yet lived up to the hype with once made him a 2nd round draft choice (59th overall in 2003), Hirsh's stuff cannot be questioned. At 25, the 6'8" Hirsh should eventually become a solid major league starter. His primary problem at this stage of his career? Walks!! Although control does in most young pitchers, this wasn't expected to be a problem for Hirsh. After all...heading into the 2006 season, Baseball America tabbed Hirsh as having the "Best Control" in the entire Houston Astros organization (he was traded to Colorado in a 5-player deal this past offseason). Not only was he then the Astros top prospect, but he was rated as having the best breaking pitch in the PCL (for all non-baseball junkies, that's short for 'Pacific Coast League'). Have I mentioned yet that Hirsh can also 'bring it' the tune of 97 MPH cheese?

Anyways, enough with the scouting report...Tuesday's incident tells me that Hirsh has HUGE stones. The average person doesn't just continue to pitch on a broken leg, nevermind another 5 full innings on a broken leg!! That's crazy talk. PITCHING IS ALL LEGS. I wish I had seen this game -- it would have been interesting to see how much velocity he had lost as the game progressed.

Having been raised as a pitcher, the more I think about this, the more I become baffled by it. Again, Jason Hirsh is a righty. His right fibula was broken. Thus, the leg which he drives off the rubber, for all intents and purposes, was useless!! Yet, he managed to hold one of the better hitting teams in the NL to 3 hits (and 3 runs) in 6 innings!

If I'm a GM, I want Jason Hirsh's potential and intestinal fortitude on my roster. Will he ever be an ace? No. But, he'll always have a spot as a #3 in the National League. Bet on that.

Amanda Braun is "Mint In The Morning"

Wednesday, August 8, 2007

Ode to Prague Chicks

As Sportspen decends on Prague this weekend, I thought I would check out what exactly I am getting myself into. The video is just some hot tennis player from the republic and the pics are from the VIP section of some club. If you dont think my american dollars are getting into VIP every weekend you are friggen crazy. (those fat chicks in the back of the top picture are tourists I hope).

Michael Jackson SO Guilty

The only explanation for the creation of this dwarf is an ill-fated trip to the Neverland Ranch by some smug toddler. This is what you get when a pop icon has sex with little people.

How's About A Hawaiian Punch......Suuureeee!!!!

The boys at have managed to find another gem. I mean, this lady gets punched so friggin' hard in her mouth, I can't believe she didn't go down like Glass Joe in Round 1. If you turn your sound up, you can hear the ferocity with which this blow lands. Damn! I bet they were arguing over who's daughter was a bigger whore, or who's pie should have come in first at the local fair. Let's move this lady onto the second round versus the Raiders/Chargers fans. Right now I have the line set at -190 for the lady I've nicknamed "The Hard Hammer."

***Much thanks to Herbie Hancock for finding this clip for me.

Newsflash: Young Republican Takes It In The Jaw

Greetings and salutations my fellow Win Column enthusiasts! I have returned completely rested and 100% relaxed from my visit to Humboldt County, CA and definitely recommend that every one of you out there to spend a few days in Northern California (by the way thanks for the concern Suds, but I got home safely). It's a great place to sneak away to and log in some 'me' time. Anyways, before I go on, I'd like to give a happy, hearty Win Column shout-out to the Humboldt Highway Patrol, and personally thank them for restoring my faith in the fact that law enforcement can be done the right way. Keep up the good work, boys!

Moving right along, part of my job here at The Win Column is to try and provide a unique perspective on stories that might not be addressed in the normal day-to-day. That said, this story just came across my desk and I felt obligated to get back into the swing of things with a bang! And for all you Republicans out there (namely Suds, RT and Lytedogg), I'm sorry to always be the bearer of bad news....but I guess $hit happens....

Glenn Murphy, Jr., the recently elected Chairman of the Young Republican National Federation (also the RNC Chair for Clark County, Indiana and formerly the YRNF Secretary) has been accused of sexually assaulting a sleeping man! Thats right, folks, take a second and read that last line again. The story goes a little something like this. One night Murphy and one of his YR (Young Republican) pickle friends were out beating homeless people, stealing from blind bums and whatever else the YR do. After painting the town red, they decided to go pass out at Murphy's sister's house. The next morning, the other YR woke up to Murphy working his hog....

...and I DON'T mean cookin' bacon. Obviously, not being gay, the other YR was not cool with this and I can't say I blame him. I mean, what would you do? Read the full police report here... If you want a good laugh, it comes highly advised. Oh, by the way, this isn't the first time ole' Glenn got caught trying to stick people's privates where they don't want them to go. He has a prior arrest for sexual battery in 1998. Bango!

This, in the wake of the sex scandal my boy, Larry Flynt, is currently spearheading doesn't make things look good for the GOP. On a side note, when I first looked at the above picture, I thought he had a d*ck in his joke!


Mint In The Morning

Natacha Peyre, I think I would drink your bath water!

The Silent Game

Now I know this video is a little long.... ok its really long but for some reason I find it absolutely amusing as will most others that have been unfortunate enough to experience the game. If you dont have time to watch the whole thing just jump to the time of 6:21 (by far best part). This japanese verison is obviously different then the one we use to play back in the day however it still brings back some funny memories. Let me explain....

A few of us here at The Win Column were unfortunate enough to grow up with one another and in high school most of us had the same study class. Study class, A.K.A doing absolutely nothing for an hour, was a good time right up until our senior year. You could hang out, chat, play table football, whatever. But our senior year that all changed. At the beginning of our senior year the school introduced "silent study" this meant from now on there was no talking or f*cking around during study and because of this "The Silent Game" was introduced.

The rules were as follows:

1. Prior to each start of the game a dare would be put into place
2. Anything is legal in trying to make the other players laugh
3. There is no talking or noise making (1st one to make any sound what-so-ever was the loser)
4. Loser has to complete the dare as soon as they lose regardless of what it is.

Seems pretty simple right? Well this game pretty much got out of control and so did some of the dares, some of which included stripping in front of the teacher (who was a 65 yr old smug woman), screaming at the top of your lungs "I love men", peeing in the corner of the room (smitty) and shirtless jump-n-jacks. Needless to say this video brings back some real funny times.

Ryan Kennelly is a Meathead

On July 28th, Kennelly benched a world record 1036 lbs. What!!

I don't know what's more impressive...the world record or the fact that Kennelly repped out 700 lbs. six times this past November?

Either way, this guy has no arms. It's amazing. I mean, they can't even relax by his side. Kennelly is so abnormally shaped that he can't even throw his belt - he's actually forced to just fling it. Different strokes for different folks, I guess.

Lastly, is that MC (in the blue shirt) sweating that badly, or is it just the lighting? Chris Berman might have some competition after all...

The "Yank-offs" Suck...They're Done???

The one thing the Red Sox have going for them...they have Jon Lester toeing the rubber tonight. Excluding Andy Sonnanstine, is Lester officially the worst starter in the AL East? No need to answer that. Hey, at least he's "gritty" out there......

How's the Kool-Aid taste now?

My Olivia Munn Moment

Have You Seen My Wiener?

I first saw this on HOLLYWOODTUNA.COM and immediately had to provide some insight to this situation for The Win Column. I'll be the first to admit I've never heard of Olivia Munn...but apparently she hosts "Attack of the Show" which is shown on a channel called "G4"....that I've never heard of. This broad is an absolute smoke show. Holy $hit. How is she not more main stream Hollywood than this? I'd watch hours and hours of her do things....which I'm sure you'll be able to do via the glorious YOUTUBE menu bar. I would do so many things to this girl, it's insane. What a body.....and those yammies....ohhhh numm numm numm. Olivia, I'm going to post 2 posts about you in the next 5 minutes. That's a Win Column first for me. I'd cut off 4 fingers and a toe just to make out with you. You're perfect.

A Hunch Let Me Watch Baseball History

I was about to go to bed when I saw on that Barry Bonds was on deck. What the hell, I said to myself, so I turned my TV to the Giants/Nats game on the baseball package and viewed Bonds' entire at bat. I have to admit, I never thought I'd see something like that. I pleaded with the pitcher to not throw him an inside fastball, and what does he do.......serves #756 on a platter. Initially, I was a little confused as to how I felt. Happy? Pissed? Disappointed? But as Barry Bonds touched home plate and I saw how the fans in San Francisco were going absolutely nuts....I felt good for Barry. I never really thought I'd say that, and mean it. Watching Hank Aaron on the big screen congratulate Bonds and his family on his accomplishment.....watching Willie Mays celebrate the big day right on the field with Barry....and most importantly, the speech. As Bonds thanked his fans (the only ones that support him in the entire country), his family, his teammates, and even the Nationals....I felt happy for him. But the raw emotion he showed when thanking his father and pointing to the sky was legit. Whether or not he cheated the game, this guy has been through a ton of $hit, and has taken tons of $hit from millions and millions across America. Tonight, none of that mattered....because Barry did it. #756 is one for the record books.

***On a side note....I loved that pig pile out in left centerfield where the ball landed. I saw at least two people whiff on their chance to be millionaires.....and then when the ball finally was the biggest pig pile of all time. No doubt there were punches thrown, biting, kicking, and all that good stuff. That must have been some kind of action.

Tuesday, August 7, 2007

Desperate Housewives Love Point Guards

Granted, the source for this article comes from Celebitchy & Star Magazine....but it has been reported that Desperate Housewives star Teri Hatcher hit it off with Warriors point guard Baron Davis at the Tony Parker/Eva Longoria wedding reception on July 7th.

Tony Parker… introduced the brunette star to a fellow NBA guard, the Golden State Warriors’ Baron Davis, 28, at the newlyweds’ reception on July 7. And after that, Stephen Kay back home seemed to be miles from the actress’ mind!

“Baron and Teri really hit it off,” said a friend of the TV beauty. “They talked and danced all night and had a great time. They couldn’t seem to get enough of each other!”…

As for Teri’s relationship with Stephen, another friend of the star says, “I think she hasn’t had her heart in it for a while. She definitely seemed open to meeting someone new…”

On July 24, Teri and Baron were spotted together again at the Hollywood eatery Pace, where they sat on the same side of a four-person table, “looking like a couple of love-struck teenagers!

...I have to think that one of the NBA's best point guards can land a better piece of a$$ than Teri Hatcher. She looks like something that crawled out of Fraggle Rock. She is friggin' heinous. I don't care how well she does herself up, she is a wrinkled, dried up hag. C'mon Baron....give us a f*cking break here. Use your hammer for something else, please. I can only hope you had wayyyyyy too much Crystal at the wedding, and you just felt like Teri was an easy target for you to pummel at the after-after party. Don't tell me you plan on continuing to shove no-look passes and smash sessions in the future. This is definitely a "hit it, then quit it" type of 40-year-old. It's time to travel around the country and cross up some groupies.

Oh, and Teri....I think I speak for everyone when I ask you...."Why the long face?" You're heinous!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Raiders vs. Chargers Fans Fight

Is this the worst group fight you've ever seen?

Only one punch landed (and that came with 2 seconds remaining in the clip) -- the guy in the white LT #21 jersey is getting hit in the side (in the background of the main footage).

One of the first rules in life...if you're going to fight, you better damn well make sure it's worth it. Everybody has a camera in their pocket nowadays. Everyone in this video comes across as fairies. It's as if nobody wanted it. Once you commit to the act, there is no stopping. You may as well get your money's worth! After all, the crime/punishment isn't all of a sudden going to become less than what it was once you decided to join in on the fiasco. Once you throw a punch, it no longer matters how much of a pu$$y you may or may not be...from there on forward, the punishment is going to be the same.

The funniest part of this video are the comments left via the YouTube message board. It's 100% banter between Raiders and Chargers fans about whose a$$ got handed to whom. Are you kidding me??? I could find tougher guys hanging around the local roller skating rink. Going forward, I've lost all respect for both of these franchise's fanbases.

By no means am I advocating fighting (those days are behind me) -- all I'm saying is that once you do throw a punch, you're better off finishing the job.

* Video was seen on KISSING SUZY KOLBER

Making The Band 4 -- Predictions

I don't watch a ton of reality TV...but every once in a while, a reality program comes along that is undeniable gold. For example, some gems include Surreal Life, the Real World/Road Rules Challenges, Flavor of Love...and of the more recent variety -- Rev Run, Rock of Love, and Making The Band 4.

Let's get this out of the way...when I decide I like a show, I dive in deep. It's not out of the realm of possibility for me to watch the same episode several times...just so I may dissect and analyze every detail. I know, I have an OCD problem -- it serves as both my greatest and worst attribute.

Rev Run
(I think the Reverend's daughter, Vanessa, is hot) and Rock of Love (I would do dirty things to Jes, pink hair and all) are sure to have their moment in Win Column glory in the coming days, but today is all about Diddy's Making The Band...especially when you consider that last night's episode was supposed to be the season finale. In the end, it wasn't -- Diddy couldn't decide on which 4 members should comprise his latest project. As 10 contestants currently remain, Diddy has asked the viewing public for help in choosing the finished product. Thus, the newly updated season file will now air live on Sunday, August 26th. The 10 challengers are as follows (in alphabetical order):
  • Brian A., Brian H., DeAngelo, Donnie, Dyshon, Jeremy, Mike, Qwanell, Robert, and Willie
First of all, I have something that a must get off my chest. I'm pissed about last night's outcome! Considering Diddy's status, there is NO WAY he is being influenced one bit by whom the kid up the street is randomly voting for. Does he really think we're this dumb??? Diddy is worth $346 million...this band is his reputation, his dollars. He's going to pick the 4 contestants which he feels will mesh best together as a group. As a viewer, don't piss on my leg and tell me it's raining.

Anyways...although I obviously won't be voting, that won't stop me from weighing in on this subject. Of the 10 potential group members, I could envision 8 of them being selected in certain situations (with Brian H. and Dyshon being the odd ones out).

From a vocal perspective...Robert, Jeremy, Brian A., and "Big" Mike are the best (in that exact order).

From a more overall standpoint (singing, choreography, and presence)...Willie, Donnie, Robert, and Qwanell consistently stand out.

The one I haven't discussed yet is DeAngelo, who tore the house down in the latest sampling (when they opened up for 'New Edition' in front of a sold out crowd). Still, I would have to personally rank DeAngelo as the 8th Man on this squad. Consistency matters.

Which leaves me with this...

I can't foresee any way Robert is left out of the group. He's in. The final 3 spots should come down to 4 potential choices -- those being Jeremy, Willie, Donnie, and Qwanell.

Of the aforementioned 4 candidates, Jeremy is the one performer that doesn't stand out as an "entertainer" while on stage. However, his voice is too strong to let go. For that reason, Jeremy is in.

This is tough!! On one hand, you have Willie...Mr. Consistency. On another hand, you have Donnie...the one that possesses no distinct weaknesses, and would die to make the group. And have Qwanell, who comes with the swagger of a superstar. I, for one, think that Willie and Donnie will mesh best with Robert and Jeremy! But, what do I know?

So, there you have it...Chieftain's band consists of:

  • Robert (bottom photo), Jeremy (3rd photo from top), Donnie (2nd photo from top), and Willie (top photo)

...I can't wait until August 26th -- I just wish it wasn't 3 weeks from now. By then, no one is even going to remember the show?

What's that, you say? You don't like this post? It's too long? You don't watch this show?? Tough sh*t...I do.

And, for those of you that do watch the show (and I know there's some/many of you out there), it's ok to admit to it. Everyone has their guilty pleasures. I want to hear from you...

I'm a Man of My Word

I seek to provide analysis and debate regarding sports and other things I think you guys may seem to enjoy. Today, I could care less if Brady Quinn finally grew a sack and signed his contract extension....or if a few teams lost marginal players to training camp injuries. I know you guys can figure all that out on your own. But this, on the other hand, is a hidden gem. For just under two minutes I stared at my computer screen with my mouth open....are these two absolute dimes really tonging the hell out of each other for 2 minutes in the sexiest outfits of all time?

You're all better people for watching this video, and don't ever let anyone tell you differently.

Those Were the Days

Weren't they? I can't imagine going from a girl that every guy in America and the world wanted to bang, to a disgusting lunatic.....P-I-G! Instead of throwing out more albums, making more money than God, and showing the world every nook and cranny of her ridiculous body....Britney "The Train Wreck Psycho Swine" Spears decided to pop out a few kids, become white trash, and put on the freshman 55.

Why did you do that to us Britney? Why?

***Man, it's a slow sports day so far, so I'm just going to post pictures of hot chicks until further notice.

We Have Liftoff

A couple weeks ago (on July 6th), Suds posted a video of one of my all-time favorite football hits...that being FSU's Greg Jones absolutely barreling through UNC's Dexter Reid. It goes without saying that Greg Jones is a strong, strong man. After all, he's built like a linebacker with tailback instincts and (to a lesser extent) speed.

Anyway, this above video is nuts. From the looks of it, this video comes via some random high school game. That being said, I have no doubt that this linebacker earned himself a college football scholarship...simply by way of this one highlight. I'll even take it a step further...if that running back survived that hit, then I can assure you that the aforementioned linebacker has tapped out the running back's high school sweetheart. It's a "dog-eat-dog world", and this linebacker will forever own the running back in question. Wow!

Throwback Hot Chick of the Day - Ali Larter

I have to admit that when Dawson (yes, I'm calling that pickle by his pickle name) turns down the whipped cream bikini in Varsity Blues.....I almost cried. Who the hell would turn down a tasty treat like that? I don't care who your girlfriend get weird on the couch right there and make an iced cream sandwich out of her biscuit. So this post is a formal apology to Ali Larter, because if I had taken over for Lance Harbor at quarterback, I would have absolutely pummeled her on a consistent basis, and I would have been one up on her with that whipped cream bikini...when I pulled a banana out of my pocket and showed her what being the gridiron field general is all about.

Which is the More Ridiculous Ride?

The battle of who has the stronger hand of PIMP JUICE...

By now, we've all seen Darren McFadden's car (his Arkansas red, Ford Crown Victoria...which sits on 26 inch rims). But, Darius Miles' vehicle has just now come to the way of his midnight black Pontiac Grand Ville (from the mid 1970's).

So, my question to all of you is...

When taking in all factors, which car is more obscene? The obvious answer in Miles' ride, but one must consider that McFadden is merely a junior in COLLEGE. One can only imagine what he'll do to top this...when he's actually getting paid like a top NFL pick.

It's clear that McFadden takes the whole, "Go big or go home" mantra to entirely different level, as evidenced by his workout regiment (see bottom photo), his propensity for tattoos (see bottom photo), and his "lavish" style choices.

(And, for the record...despite what some readers may or may not believe, I have NO ill will towards D-Mac. I think he's a tremendous football player. I don't, however, think Arkansas can repeat last year's success -- even though they miss out on both Florida and Georgia this year. It's that simple. Why? Because Houston Nutt may be the weakest coach in the SEC, especially when you consider that he just lost his jewel of an Offensive Coordinator in Gus Malzahn...the new head coach at Tulsa).