Saturday, July 7, 2007

Live Earth is Ridiculous

So normally, I would make fun of hippies and environmentalists at any opportunity I had, but after listening to Live Earth around the world today on Sirius.......I have to admit that this is one occasion where they've actually done something right. 100 of the world's best bands playing on all seven continents....with even a band of science researchers rockin' out on a stage set up in Antarctica. Bravo hippies...bravo environmentalists. Today I salute each and every one of you. You have staged the biggest and greatest musical event of all time....which nobody can fault you for. I can only wish that I was at the New York show....pulling up in my SUV, wearing a shirt made by a peasant in a sweat shop, and throwing all of my beer cans in the trash, as opposed to "conforming" to your recycling effort.

Keep up the good work. Peace, love, Rock N' Roll, and Global Warming.

Sophie Monk Make Me So Horny

Because I feel like being a man of few words today, I'd like you all to enjoy a few shots of this Australian quahog. I'm not sold on her face really....I've seen some pictures where she does her best Fergie "butt-a-face" impression. There's no denying her body I'd probably drive off a cliff in a convertible just to have her undo my belt buckle. But I guess that's the difference between you and I.....isn't it always ?

Friday, July 6, 2007

Because It's A Slow News Day....

Enjoy some of Pro Football's hardest hits of all time. Snot bubbles, fractured spines, and everything else that makes football the greatest game on the planet.

Don't Try and Take on A Beast Up High....

Because you'll end up like that poor scrub who was decapitated by a Greg Jones stiff arm. You've got to be kidding me. This is one of my favorite football hits of all time. What a friggin beast!!!!!!!!

The Best Pitcher In Baseball as of July 6th, 2007

That's right, I said it. You have a problem with that? I don't really see how you could, unless you live in a cave or have a mushroom tattoo stamped on your forehead. Your AL All-Star Game starting pitcher has some serious stats.....

3.44 ERA (which is exceptional for an AL East pitcher)
92 K's in 102 innings pitched

Of course, I could bore you with some WHIP or K/BB stats...but let me tell you, you don't need them. Beckett is taking the mound this season with a purpose. He is completely locked in and lights out when he grabs the ball every 5th day. I'm glad I have degenerate friends that put $100 on Beckett last night to possibly lose $300....but, it really was a no-brainer bet. Combine that with the fact they probably had already had 12 Bud Lights....they probably would have bet on the over/under on Hazel Mae's bra size. I'd like $50 on the over, please.

Thursday, July 5, 2007

Can I Get Some T&A With My Pie?

Pack up the car guys....we're moving to Canada! A story coming out of Winnipeg earlier this week reported that a new delivery only pizza parlor was offering pictures of naked chicks with their pizza. Porno Pizza opened only a few weeks ago, but is quickly gaining a cult following. No surprise there. It's stories like this that constantly confirm that the human mind truly has no limit. I, for one, would love to have porn delivered with everything. O Canada!


Dazed and Confused

I'm willing to challenge anyone who doesn't think that Wooderson in Dazed and Confused isn't the f*cking man. Sure, he may be 26 years old hanging out with high school you're all probably just jealous. This guy smokes tons of trees, drives a sick car, and just pounds young a$$ all friggin' day long. Dazed and Confused is one of the best party movies of all time. Yeah I said it....if you don't think so, go to hell. I think you're c*nty anyway.

More RAD-ical Clips

I have to give it up to Norman P. for bringning this movie back to life for me! This may have been the "greatest unknown" movie of the 80's. Will someone please tell me how to find this movie on DVD. Send me an angel right now!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wednesday, July 4, 2007

BORN IN THE USA - Happy 4th

If this song doesn't make you wanna smear $hit all over your face and drape yourself in 13 stripes and 50 stars, well, you must be one of our overseas readers. Welcome to America, because this is the heart of who we are.

Long live the Boss.

Everyone have a happy and safe 4th of July holiday. And to all those mutts getting loaded tonight, be safe then too.

Tuesday, July 3, 2007

Speaking of Poor Sports...

Norman's latest post got me thinking about other "blowups" in sports. I just came across this video of an ESPN Top 10 Most Unsportsmanlike Plays. My personal favorite is number 4.

What else deserves to be on this list, readers?

Les Miles Doesn't Discriminate....He Hates Everybody

Just to wet your whistle as college football season is bearing down upon us.....As reported by in a recent interview on a Baton Rouge radio station, Les Miles basically sh*t on everything but the kitchen sink. His tirade included the weakness of schedule the Pac-10 nancies face and the fact that the Big 12 is a glorified Pop Warner league. Miles was so pissed off he even laid into his neighbor, going so far as to call her a brokedick excuse for an 11 year old girl...but I'll get to that later.

When asked about a hypothetical match up between LSU and USC in the BCS championship Miles had this to say....“I can tell you this, that they have a much easier road to travel. “They’re going to play real knockdown drag-outs with UCLA and Washington, Cal-Berkeley, Stanford — some real juggernauts — and they’re going to end up, it would be my guess, in some position so if they win a game or two, that they’ll end up in the title game."

“I would like that path for us. I think the SEC provides much stiffer competition.”

Miles went on to say:

“The Big 12 is a conference that might have two really pretty good teams, maybe four. I think the Pac-10 may have one or two really good ones. The ACC certainly, arguably, has some quality teams.

“I don’t think there’s any conference out there that has as many quality teams as ours.”

I couldn't agree with you more, Les. The SEC is, far and away, the best conference in the land...and I, for one, am sick and tired with the amount of respect those no talent, hack loser stiffs get in the particular, USC.

Miles was so pissed off he flew off the handle attacking his 11 year old neighbor. Below are some of his comments...

“Never…and I mean never…have I seen such a thoroughly mediocre and pisspoor performance by a child in all aspects of her life as in Hayley Lafontaine. I’ve had the opportunity to watch plenty of kids in my life, but none have disappointed me–and the whole f*cking world, actually–than that little pigtailed bag of crapshit, Hayley Lafontaine.”

Well done, Les. She probably is a lazy piece of crap. All I know is that if the LSU players can show half of the moxy of 'ole Les Miles, its going to be a long game for whomever steps on the field with the Tigers.


Thank You, Come Again

Per CNN.COM....

Over the weekend, 7-Eleven Inc. turned a dozen stores into "Kwik-E-Marts," the popular convenience store in the Simpsons. It's all a campaign to promote the upcoming Simpson's Movie that is set to open on July 27th. 7-Eleven is bearing all the costs in the campaign, which they see as a brilliant marketing attempt, and an ability to poke fun at themselves at the same time. Not only do they decorate the stores as "Kwik-E-Marts," but the stores will also sell popular Simpson's items such as: Buzz Cola, KrustyO's cereal, and "Squishees," the slushy drink impostor of Slurpees.

Just when you thought there would be an outrage from Arabs and Arab-American convenience store owners....think again. Take it from Kumar (get Harold and go to White Castle) Assandas, a 28 year-old Seven-Eleven franchise owner in Las Vegas:

"I know it's a stereotype, but it doesn't bother me. Everybody knows it's a joke," Assandas said. "I'm a big 'Simpsons' fan myself, and maybe subconsciously it even inspired me to become a 7-Eleven owner."

Wow, leave it to the Simpson's to poke fun at an entire nationality in a marketing campaign for themselves, and barely stir a lick of controversy. This amazes me. I think this will confirm that the show is one of the most influential and well liked comedies of all-time. Imagine if the Sopranos turned convenience stores into Bada Bing's all over the country. I know the thought of going to the local convenience store and seeing a nice, healthy pair of breasts is something I wake up each day hoping to achieve. Go big, or go home.

Thank you, come again.

Help Is On the Way....

Get Your #20 jerseys.....fresh off the meter.

Public Enemy said it best when they said....

It might feel good
Sound a lil somethin
Damn the game
If it dont mean nuttin
What is game
Who got game

Wheres the game
In life
Behind the game
Behind the game
I got game
She got game
We got game
They got game
He got game
That millenium
Just be killin em

-Public Enemy, "He Got Game"

Should the 1980s apologize?

Lets be honest, the 80's are about as cool as swamp ass. I know some of you don't agree with me but I don't give a sh*t. Lets review.... tapered jeans, British Knights, Cyndi Lauper, neon clothes, Footloose, Milli Vanilli, spiked hair... do I need to go on? I admit, there are some good parts as well, such as Cheers, Bon Jovi, Back to the Future, Family Ties, anything by the Boss. But in my opinion the cons far out-weigh the pro's. Anyways, the above clip is a trailer for probably one of the sickest BMX movies of all time albeit produced in the 80's

One more thing before I go, but I feel I have to mention it. Around the 2:22 mark, if you're watching closely you'll notice a familiar face (stop reading now and watch the clip up until that point, then continue reading)...................I know, I couldn't believe it either. It seems as though this 'Full House' theme has grown a life of its own and is dictating my thought pattern. I didn't plan this......I swear! I was going to post this clip anyways, but the second time I watched it I noticed her. I don't know what to say, but I'm beginning to wonder...


Monday, July 2, 2007

Top 5 Things That Happened At The Sox Game

Tonight was no different than any other time I went to Fenway. Its a beautiful park with great fans...and every time I set a foot in that temple, I'm reminded why I am a Red Sox fan. If I may, I'd like to share a few notes from tonight with you:

1. The Boo Birds were out every time Slammin' Sammy stepped to the plate. Now, there may be some mixed emotions out there about this...but here's my thoughts. One, I think it goes without saying, he did steroids. I mean...5 years ago he looked like Mr. T in Rocky III. Nowadays, he looks like Webster. Two, he wouldn't be up for Comeback Player of the Year if he didn't have to leave the game due to being a other words, I'm not too sure he should be rewarded for this.

2. Gabbard got a standing O when he left the mound in the sixth. 5.2 innings, 3 ER, and 5 strikeouts isn't outstanding, but I love how Red Sox Nation goes out of their way to support their own (especially after that last start). So stick a feather in your cap, Sox Nation...we need Gabbard and it'll do us good to keep his confidence up.

3. Jacoby Ellsbury is ridiculously fast. I didn't even know he stole second until I saw it on the centerfield screen. And guess what....neither did anybody else! Seriously. Sorry Coco, but it looks like you're out of a job.

4. The hot girl that I was sitting next to kept touching me with her leg. Not only that, but when Hinske ripped that triple and everyone jumped up, she stumbled and kind of fell into me so I had to catch her. F*ck you for judging me...anyways, that leads me to my next point.

5. Didn't it feel extra good seeing Hinske have a great night? Just to echo Suds' sentiments in his previous post ( ..... but good for you, Hinkse. In limited playing time, you keep reminding us that you still have a trick or two up your sleeve. Not only that, but he keeps reminding us that the Sox are ridiculously sick and they have a bench deeper than Gina Lynn's c*nt.


Proud to be an American

Celebrate Your Independence With Hot Chicks, Beer, and Grilled Meats

There is nothing that gets me fired up like the 3rd and 4th of July in America's Hometown. The 3rd of July is pretty much a $hit show from sun up to sun down...that usually starts at a beach, and ends when I wake up somewhere random early on the 4th, not remembering where I am or how I got there. Why would this year be any different? I don't really see it being any different. Especially, since I plan on celebrating the 3rd of July early, as in, tonight the 2nd. Why not? It's nice out, the bar has plenty of clam and ice cold Bud Light.....not to mention I hear that The Commodore and Nightmare are in town. Things have the potential to get really weird later. Nightmare has already informed me that he left his ID in Boston, so now we have to beg for his miserable, stinky self to be let into some sort of establishment. Way to go Nightmare, you jerkoff. We're about to go on a 3 day drinking bender, and you forget your license like a pervert going to a rub-and-tug.

I hope everyone celebrates their Independence in style over the next few days. And by that, I mean that I hope you hold a Roman candle too long and you burn yourself so you have a miserable 4th of July. May God bless the troops, hot chicks, beer, grilled meat, and anything else that gets your rocks off.

Enjoy the holiday.

Bringing Chicks to Sporting Events

I would like the hear the readers of The Win Column's opinion on whether it is ok to bring your chick to a sporting event. I believe there are 3 valid reasons that are acceptable, which I will mention in a second...but overall, I think the consensus is an absolute NO. I know there are some pretty cool chicks out there that could handle it, but I can't think of many chicks that would make it a better experience than sucking down a few cold brewski's with Sudsie at a game in Fenway park...or maybe or double-fisting at the Garden, trying so hard not to spill those glorious Bud Lights all over me while trying so hard to walk up the stairs to my seat.

I can probably count the amount of chicks I know on one hand who I would have a good time with, but most of them could care less about the game itself. They don't know any of the players or any of the rules. One time I went to a Sox game and the girl didn't even know how many innings there were! Are you kidding me? What guy wants to spend time explaining how many god damn innings are in a game!

Anyways, here are the 3 reasons I find it acceptable:

1.) She is generally interested and knows what she is talking about. This is the chick that would be watching Remdawg on a Wednesday night vs. the Devil Rays if you weren't even home.
2.) She is smoking hot and it is one of your first dates. First couple dates are acceptable. I think a girl feels privileged to be asked to a game, knowing that you chose her over all your cool buddies. There's a good chance you're getting laid if you make this move.
3.) She loves to black out! This focuses all the attention on having a good time and not being a fake fan for one night. Usually, this is the type of girl that will admit she has no clue and just wants to have a good time.

I Hate the Day After Sunday

My liver feels like it was consistently punched from Thursday afternoon until this morning. I friggin' hate Monday's. But, I hate this one a little less because tomorrow is the 3rd of July, which means blacking out and meats on a grill. Two of life's great treasures.

Sunday, July 1, 2007

Blacked Out!

This was me last night and will be for the rest of the week!

Must See

I have nothing really to say. But every reader needs to check out this website...

Fitzy puts up a new video every Friday. Go back and check the archives. Real funny sh*t.