Carmen Takes Halloween to the Next Level (NSFW)

Carmen For Halloween

Remember me...no?? Good - just the way I like it. Remember Carmen (a Win Column favorite since inception)?? Now we're talking.

Anyway, the primary reason I'm writing this post is because I promised Orlando that I would congratulate the Red Sox and Red Sox Nation on their recent World Series championship. To a million more "pink hat" fans...cheers. Was it wrong for me to wish San Diego's fires upon Lansdowne last Sunday evening?

It's probably no coincidence that I'm just now coming to grips with such fate - after all, the Celtics and Providence Friars begin their quest for dominance tonight.

In all honesty, these last few weeks have been a whirlwind. I was interviewed by CBS (Channel 2 in NY) minutes after the news that Joe Torre had rejected the Yankees' $5M (+ incentives) job offer. I was elated!! As I've said for 2 years now, Joe Torre was the worst possible manager for the New York Yankees job. The Yankees are in the midst of a youth movement. Newsflash! Joe Torre heavily favors veterans over any and all youngsters. Because Torre has made it his mission to destroy every pitcher's arm (now that Torre is a Dodger, I can only pray for Scott Proctor and his family), the "Joba Rules" were solely implemented as a defense to Torre's insanity. Torre is an awful in-game manager...he refuses to move runners along. Torre benched Gary Sheffield in the deciding game vs. the Tigers in the 2006 ALDS, the day after he batted the best baseball player on the planet (A-Rod) 8th!!! Are you kidding me???? Sheffield's presence and bat wiggle is enough to make Kenny Rogers crap himself on the mound! Torre's Yankees hadn't made it out of the 1st round of the playoffs in 3 consecutive years. Torre's Yankees hadn't won a championship in 7 years. That's $1.2 BILLION down the tubes. Where's the accountability??? Joe, I thank you for your efforts during your tenure - I loved you for years, but your time clearly expired.

Joe Girardi - step right up! What a ballsy hire...incredible hire. Passion, intensity, in-game management, film study. A new era -- a welcomed era!

Alex Rodriguez - for the past 4 years, I was your biggest fan. I defended you to death, no matter the struggles. Today, you are dead to me. You have genuinely and sincerely hurt me.

So, who plays 3B for the Yanks next year? None other than Robbie Cano. If the Yanks can sign Orlando Hudson to play 2B (defensive whiz with great bat control and plate discipline), Cano is the Yanks' 3B. You heard it hear first.

In order to avoid rambling, I need to cut this short (God, I have so much more I want/need to vent). However, I need to get something off my chest before signing off...WHO IS CORNSTARR??? Some of his stuff is funny -- but, I'm convinced Cornstarr is, in real life, "The Entertainer" from VH1's 'I Love New York'.

Will I be back for autographs? Who knows. But in the meantime, keep it gangsta...

Baseball & Beers

Over the weekend, I received an email indicating that a bar named "Norm's Eatery and Ale House" promotes "Cheap Sex Monday's". Who cares, right? Why the hell am I blogging about this?

Well, the aforementioned bar is stationed in Seattle -- and the "Sex" part is a prefix for (Richie) Sexson. Apparently...on Monday's, this bar sells bottles of beer for Richie Sexson's batting average.

My first thought?

Seattle fans are raking in the DUI's these days. I mean, Sexson can't hit. His .211 batting average makes him a Wily Mo Pena clone.

$2.11 beers + baseball games + playoff race = A lot of drunk patrons on Monday nights

Until tonight, I forgot about said email. But then...I watched the putrid pitcher that has become Mike Mussina. As I've said before, I hate Mike Mussina. He's a bad pitcher (can't hit spots) that b*tches and moans about EVERYTHING. Recently, especially in Boston, there has been a lot of clamoring about the "rapid downward spiral" of Mussina. I'm confused???

Mike Mussina hasn't been a good pitcher since 2003!! 4.59 ERA in 2004, 4.41 ERA in 2005, terrible from June - August last year, and a 5.53 ERA thus far this year. Wake up!! This isn't a trend, this is a history.

Bring up phenom Ian Kennedy!!!!!!!!!!! No matter what, one thing is painfully obvious -- Mike Mussina cannot make another start for the NY Yankees this year. There are only 31 games remaining...in order to make the playoffs (Wild Card), the Yankees need to win at least 21 of them. Mussina is a guaranteed loss everytime he toes the rubber (3 K's in his last 3 games pitched...combined). He no longer has a fastball. He destroys the bullpen. DO THE MATH!!!

Anyway, back to my original premise. New York bars should be taking note of what bars in Seattle have started to capitalize on. If one of your own continues to fail (one that has signed a contract that cannot be moved -- a la Sexson/Mussina/JD Drew), then the city should at least be able to have fun with it. For this reason, I suggest NYC bars start serving mixed drinks which zone in on Mussina's "Lester-like" performance. $5.53 for a mixed drink in NYC?? The Win Column guarantees a packed house.

To top it off, let's recall Mussina's recent comments:

Asked if he carried any deeper concerns, Mussina said..."That they're going to take me out of the rotation? Who were they going to replace me with?"

Die!

I Have a Confession to Make

I'm exhausted, but at least tonight's game was well worth staying up for. Hell, any game in which Joba "The Hut" makes an appearance is worth the price of admission. Not many regular season games are "must win" games, but tonight was certainly one of them. Both Boston and Seattle (miraculously) lost, and a sweep at the hands of the Angels would have been absolutely devastating.

In just 6 games, I have already developed a crush on Joba Chamberlain. Hate if you will, but this beast of a phenom is, in a word, u-n-h-i-t-t-a-b-l-e. Watching Joba blow smoke past Vlad tonight was a thing a beauty. Power vs. power -- and guess what? I'm starting to think that he could punch out Vlad 8 out of every 10 times he faces him. Vlad never stood a chance. In 8 innings now, "Mr. Loverman" (a nickname which is rapidly catching on) has registered 14 K's, 2 BB's, 3 hits, and 0 runs allowed. He hits 97 MPH - 100 MPH with every fastball he throws, as he paints the corners! And, the thing is...I'm 100% positive that his fastball isn't even his best pitch. His 90 MPH slider might be the best out-pitch in baseball today! I know it may sound absurd, but don't dare knock it until you actually see it.

How good is he? I honestly don't think the 21-year-old will give up more than a single run all season long (assuming he doesn't make a spot start down the road...he won't before next year). Chew on that!

Remember way back in 2005 when WEEI and all of Red Sox Nation continuously proclaimed the Yankees farm system as "dead" and "bare"???

...Wang, Hughes, Chamberlain, Cano, and Melky say hello. And, there's much-much more to come in the near future (the Yanks STILL have an incredible surplus of potential stud arms in the minors).

* Photoshopped picture comes courtesy of http://nomaas.org/

1:05 PM -- Erik Bedard vs. Phil Hughes

Well, well...it's good to know that Mr. Torre & Co. at least view this blog. After all, Edwar Ramirez was recalled from Scranton just a few hours ago!! In addition to Ramirez, Sean Henn was also called back up...as both Jim Brower (sucks) and Jeff Karstens were optioned back down.

Which leaves me with this...what kind of dirt does Chris Britton have on the Yankees? Has he killed Torre's dog? I need an explanation. Plain and simple, Chris Britton belongs on the 25-man roster (he's a 24-year-old arm that has the potential to be a stud out of the bullpen...he's been great all year in Scranton, and was nearly unhittable in his 5 innings of work with the big league club earlier this year). Andy Phillips does not. Cut bait!

Anyway, what a matchup we have in store in less than 2 hours!!

ERIK BEDARD vs. PHIL HUGHES...at The Stadium

Potential 2007 AL Cy Young vs. Future AL Cy Young

...No matter how you slice it, Bedard is one of the 4 best pitchers in the AL this year. Besides Haren, Beckett, and Santana, there isn't a single AL pitcher that one could make an argument for (well, maybe Kelvim Escobar - but, he's still a distant fifth in my eyes).

After all, Bedard is 12-4 (for a poor Orioles team) with a 3.11 ERA (5th in the AL, trailing only Haren/Escobar/Lackey/Santana...and has 199 K's (way more than any other pitcher in baseball).

Not to mention...since the All-Star break, Bedard is 5-0 with an incredible 2.23 ERA and 0.97 WHIP -- all while opponents hit an invisible .177 against him.

Similar to last week's Bedard - Matsuzaka matchup, I'm all sorts of revved up for this Wednesday afternoon special.

...As a side note, did you know that Bedard did not play baseball at a competitive level until he walked onto the Norwalk Community College team in Norwalk, Connecticut? As a senior in high school, Bedard was only 5'4" and 120 pounds. Before starting college, he grew 7 inches and gained 30 pounds. While in college, he added 10 MPH on his fastball and became a junior college All-American.

Memo to Joe Torre: Make Wilson Betemit Your Full-Time 1B Now!!

I've seen enough of Betemit, Andy Phillips, Jason Giambi, Johnny Damon, and Shelley Duncan to know all-to-well that Wilson Betemit deserves the full-time gig over at first base.

Sure, Andy Phillips is highly above average defensively...but, he hits the ball as if he's flailing a newspaper. Simply put, the ball doesn't travel off his bat (evidenced by his .694 OPS). In turn, Wilson Betemit can flat-out rake (evidenced by his .857 OPS)...and, he's more than capable from a defensive perspective.

Truth be told, Andy Phillips shouldn't have a spot on this Yankees team as it's currently constructed. Yet, for some reason, Torre insists on STARTING Phillips? It doesn't make sense, especially when one considers that Phillips to taking at-bats away from the red-hot bats of Betemit/Giambi/Damon/Shelley Duncan.

The Yankees should be rostering 13 pitchers right now. That 13th pitcher should be EDWAR RAMIREZ...you know, the 26-year-old that Gammons and Buster Olney rant-and-rave about. If not Ramirez (in 37.1 innings at AAA Scranton this year, he has compiled a 0.72 ERA with 64 K's), then at the very least Chris Britton!! With Betemit's versatility (he's literally played every infield position this year), there is NO reason to roster Phillips (at most, Phillips should be the last man off the bench - solely as a defensive replacement). After all, I've watched the 30-year-old first baseman put together 400+ hapless AB's over the last 3 seasons. He seriously has less pop than Youkilis, as amazing and embarrassing as that may sound!

Torre...wake up!!! First base is and should always be a power position. Why do you think the Yanks have trimmed the AL East deficit from 14.5 games to 4 games in the last 2 months??? Simple. Because they batted at a .327 clip while having slugged an astonishing 58 HOME RUNS SINCE THE ALL-STAR BREAK. Please allow Mr. Betemit the opportunity to continue this trend!

Phillips is a ROLE player...it's just that that "role" shouldn't necessarily be with this Yankee team. Ink Betemit as your full-time first baseman, and don't look back. Rotate Giambi and Damon at DH (with Damon playing the OF once a week).

Joe, you finally came to your senses about Luis Vizcaino's and Kyle Farnsworth's role on this team. I'm begging you to not take as long with this decision. In the end, both you and I know that I'm right.

R.I.P. "Scooter" (1917 - 2007)

This morning, a life-long Yankee legend passed away at the age of 89. He had been the oldest living Hall of Famer, as he was inducted into Cooperstown by a Veterans Committee vote in 1994.

"I guess heaven must have needed a shortstop," Yankees owner George Steinbrenner said in a statement. "Phil Rizzuto's contributions to the Yankees and the sport of baseball were immense for a period of over 50 years. He was one of the greatest Yankees of all time and a dear, close friend of mine whose loss is enormous to me and to the entire Yankee family."

"Scooter" was the AL MVP runner-up in 1949, only to follow that campaign up by winning the AL MVP in 1950 (ironically, the years in which the Yankees finally moved him into the leadoff spot). Rizzuto was noted for strong defense, "small ball" skills, and clutch hitting, which helped the Yankees capture 7 World Series.

Rizzuto's 1953 Topps baseball card read in part: "Ty Cobb named the 'Scooter' as one of the few modern ball players who could hold his own among old timers."

Ted Williams claimed that his Red Sox would have won most of the Yankees' 1940s and 1950s pennants if they had had Rizzuto at shortstop.

Following Rizzuto's retirement, he broadcasted Yankees games on radio and television for the next 40 years. Rizzuto became known for his catchphrases, such as "Unbelievable!", "Holy Cow!", or "Did you see that?" to describe a great play, and would call somebody a "huckleberry" if he did something Rizzuto didn't like.

In Rizzuto's later years as a broadcaster, he would announce the first 6 innings of Yankee games. Often times, the TV director would puckishly show a shot of the bridge after Rizzuto had departed. Rizzuto was also very phobic about lightning, and would leave games with violent thunderclaps. Even still, "Scooter" ranked 27th in Curt Smith's Voices of Summer, which ranked baseball's greatest 101 announcers (in this book, Vin Scully holds the top spot).

Rizzuto's most significant moments as a broadcaster included the new single-season home run record set by Roger Maris on October 1, 1961, which he called on WCBS radio:

"Here's the windup, fastball, hit deep to right, this could be it! Way back there! Holy cow, he did it! Sixty-one for Maris! And look at the fight for that ball out there! Holy cow, what a shot! Another standing ovation for Maris, and they're still fighting for that ball out there, climbing over each other's backs. One of the greatest sights I've ever seen here at Yankee Stadium!"

The Yankees retired Rizzuto's number 10 in a ceremony at Yankee Stadium on August 4, 1985. During this ceremony, he was honored with a plaque out in Yankee Stadium's Monument Park. The plaque makes reference to the fact that he "has enjoyed two outstanding careers, all-time Yankee shortstop, one of the great Yankee broadcasters."

Most baseball observers, including Rizzuto himself, would later decide that Derek Jeter had surpassed him as the greatest shortstop in New York Yankees history. The "Scooter" paid tribute to his heir apparent during the 2001 postseason at Yankee Stadium; jogging back to the Yankee dugout, he flipped the ceremonial baseball backhand, imitating Jeter's celebrated game-saving throw to home plate that had just occurred during the Yankees' 2001 ALDS triumph vs. Oakland.

** (It should be pointed out that after this year, Jeter will only be 2 rings short of Rizzuto's 7!) COWBOY UP....

WFAN In New York Is For Idiots And Retards....Seriously

Say what you will about WEEI. I consider myself a loyal listener, logging in anywhere between 3-5 hours per day. I fully realize that the station can be tough to listen to at times. I've been thoroughly enjoying Gerry Callahan's throat cancer or whatever the hell he has, so I haven't been forced to listen to his friggin' whacked-out, George Bush loving rants. The "Big Show" is a bunch of meatheads, foaming at the mouth yelling at each other (which I love), and I'm fairly certain Glen Ordway's sports knowledge rivals that of a mediocre fan (at best). I'm convinced Dale Arnold diddles little boys. I think Meter is the most knowledgeable on the station and I love Michael Holley and Mike Adams.

That said, because I'm in NY this week, I have the pleasure (and I use that term loosely) of listening to WFAN. For the past day, the smug nitwits that run that station have brought stupidity to a WHOLE new level. Throughout the day, culminating during the 'Mike and the Mad Dog' show, I had to listen to caller-after-caller saying how they have 'counted out' the Sox. I had to listen as these crapsh*ts kept calling saying that the only team they are REALLY worried about is the Angels. Last time I checked, the Sox were still 4 games up, with one of the best pitching staffs in the game. So Yankees fans, a personal message from me to you. Don't get ahead of yourselves, there's still a lot of baseball to be played and the road to the playoffs won't be paved with NY style pizza. So, keep your pants on and don't start beating off yet...AND go f*ck yourself.

To make matters worse, even the talk show hosts are complete nimrods. In my opinion, the host of a show is supposed to act as the voice of reason during these shows. It's inevitable, whomever is controlling the phone lines is going to put on the most ostentatious and obnoxious people. It makes for good radio.....I get that. But the host has a responsibility to mediate the show and bring a certain amount of rational thought. That is, if you want to run a reputable program...which in this case, he obviously doesn't. One more point of contention before I end this rant. I had to listen to people blasting Gagne all day (rightfully so), however, I think making the claim that signing Gagne ruined the Sox bullpen is a bit much. I'm going to go out on a limb and say that having Gagne will do more good than bad, and when its all said and done, we'll be pumped we picked him up.

Orlando

P.S. - Chieftain, on a side note. Can't you pull some strings and get that friggin' c*nt, Suzyn Waldman off the radio waves? I know I've mentioned this before, but every time I hear her, I'm reminded of how much of a disgrace it is.

BREAKING NEWS: HERPES ON THE LOOSE?

The L.A. Rag Mag (http://laragmag.com/) is reporting that Derek Jeter gave Jessica Alba herpes?!?!?!?! It pains me to type this, but I'm sure this is going to become a much bigger local story in the coming days (every Boston outlet is sure to run with this), so I figured you may as well hear it first from either the L.A. Rag Mag or The Win Column.

The L.A. Rag Mag goes on to say the following...

"Jessica Alba used to date Derek Jeter, the serial celebrity dater, who plays for the NY Yankees. Well, our source worked for Cash Warren, her ex, and had to refill her Valtrex prescription for her on a regular basis! Guess who she got it from…that’s right…dirty Derek Jeter."

First Paris Hilton, then Mike "Ron Mexico" Vick, and now the King of NYC???

Can this be true? I mean, what is the L.A. Rag Mag???? Are they just trying to make a name for themselves? After all, the mere name of the magazine sounds unprofessional and scandalous. But hey, The Win Column is in the blogging business, and this news is certainly blog worthy.

With this news, I have so many questions. Jeter has banged nearly every American and international "10" there is. Don't you think word would have spread before now? Does Justin Timberlake have it? After all, they've been trading partners for some time now (i.e., Scarlett Johansson and Jessica Biel). How long is the "Valtrex line" today at the local Manhattan pharmacies?

As a side note...if this holds true, it's no wonder why Cash Warren is said to be devastated over the breakup with his longtime girlfriend, Jessica Alba. Not only is he never going to tap a better a$$, but he's now a single man that has potentially contracted herpes!!! Talk about a change of events...

...I'll be honest -- right now, I'm dumbfounded and deeply disappointed by this news. Similar to how Pats fans had viewed Tom Brady as invincible (before the whole baby mama drama), I have always viewed Jeter in the same light. Somebody, anybody...say it ain't so!

Suds - knowing how much you love Alba, how are you holding up?

The "Yank-offs" Suck...They're Done???

The one thing the Red Sox have going for them...they have Jon Lester toeing the rubber tonight. Excluding Andy Sonnanstine, is Lester officially the worst starter in the AL East? No need to answer that. Hey, at least he's "gritty" out there......

How's the Kool-Aid taste now?

Local MLB Musings

By now, you've all at least heard about Baseball America's recent "Best Tools" compilation. The results were based strictly upon a survey amongst all MLB managers.

• 2nd "Best hitter" in AL: Derek Jeter
• "Best power" in AL: Alex Rodriguez
• 2nd "Best strike-zone judgment" in AL: Bobby Abreu
• 2nd "Best hit-and-run artist" in AL: Derek Jeter
• 3rd "Best baserunner" in AL: Derek Jeter
• 3rd "Best pitcher" in AL: Josh Beckett
• "Best curveball" in AL: Josh Beckett
• 3rd "Best changeup" in AL: Daisuke Matsuzaka
• "Best pickoff move" in AL: Andy Pettitte
• "Best reliever" in AL: Jonathan Papelbon
• 3rd "Best reliever" in AL: Mariano Rivera
• 3rd "Best defensive catcher" in AL: Jason Varitek
• 3rd "Best defensive third baseman" in AL: Mike Lowell
• "Best defensive shortstop" in AL: Derek Jeter

Other than the clear notion that Derek Jeter is a demi-god in every aspect of life, what else to I take away from this?

...That there is a reason why Baseball America is my favorite website on the net. For any "true" baseball fan, Baseball America should be daily reading, as it covers baseball at every level (high school, college, Japan, the minors, and the majors). Money well spent.

To see where other respective AL and NL players ranked accordingly, see the below links...

http://www.baseballamerica.com/today/majors/features/264575.html

http://www.baseballamerica.com/today/majors/features/264582.html

Happy Birthday, A-Rod!

Alex Rodriguez turns 32 today! A-Rod is a baseball god. This post serves as proof.

In 12 seasons, A-Rod has been honored as an AL All-Star 11 times...the one year he didn't make cut was 1999 -- after all, he only batted .285 and only slugged 42 HR's and 111 RBI's that year...all while playing SS, the "power" position that it's not.

For his career, A-Rod's 162 game average is as follows:

.306 AVG

44 HR's

127 RBI's

128 Runs

191 Hits

22 SB's

.964 OPS

Again, that's his "average" 162-game season. Amazing.

...If he hits 1 more "A-bomb" before June 29, 2008, he will become the youngest player ever to hit his 500th home run, breaking the record Jimmie Foxx set in 1939. Bottom line, Rodriguez is going to hit 800+ home runs (assuming health).

• 2 MVP's (runner-up twice, and top 15 in voting another 6 times...not including his inevitable MVP this year)


• 2-time Gold Glove winner (likely winner at 3B this year - as he's been stellar in the field, only collecting 6 errors to-date)


• Member of the 40/40 Club (42 HR's and 46 SB's in 1998...at the age of 22)


• 1996 - AL Batting Champ, AL Runs Leader, AL Doubles Leader, AL Total Bases Leader (all at the age of 20)


• 1998 - AL Hits Leader


• 2001 - AL Home Run Champ, AL Runs Leader, AL Total Bases Leader, AL Extra-Base Hits Leader,


• 2002 - AL Home Run Champ, AL RBI Title, AL Total Bases Leader


• 2003 - AL Home Run Champ, AL Slugging Percentage Leader, AL Runs Leader,


• 2005 - AL Home Run Champ, AL Slugging Percentage Leader, AL OPS Leader, AL Runs Leader


• Owns nearly every power record a major league SS can hold -- Runs in a season, extra-base hits in a season, highest slugging percentage in a season, total bases in a season, HR's in a season

...But, you're all right -- he's not clutch??? He's only a career .280 postseason hitter -- and this year, he's only batting .519 with 7 HR's in the 9th inning alone! Yes, you read that correctly...I said .519!

When it's all said and done, Alex Rodriguez will be viewed as the best baseball player in the history of the game. Better than Babe Ruth. Better than Willie Mays. Better than Ted Williams. Better than Barry Bonds.

His entrance music? Baby Boy's "The Way I Live". Keep on keepin' on, A-Rod -- we are all witnessing history...

When In Doubt.........

You sign Shea Hillenbrand to address your problem at first base????????

According to Newsday this morning, the Yankees are hard after former Angels first baseman/DH Shea Hillenbrand.

Hold on, let me let this out loud..... HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA.

Shea Hillenbrand is a stiff, bum, c*nt.....and not in that specific order. He could also be called a bum, c*nt, stiff, or a c*nt, stiff, bum. Holy $hit Yankees, you are getting really desperate. This guy is a club house cancer.

.254 AVG, a whopping 3 HR's, 22 RBI's, and 19 runs scored for an Angels team that generally scores a decent amount of runs. But just like he's done in every city his blond pubes have taken him, Shea gave us his best "wahhhhhhhh, wahhhhhh, I don't get enough playing time and now I want out of here....wahhhhhhhhhhh wahhhhhhhh."

Hey Shea, go f*ck yourself. You left Boston like a little b*tch, pissin' and moaning until they basically had to escort you and your collection of gay porn out onto Yawkee Way. You are a career .285 hitter.....with a pathetic .322 lifetime OBP, and an even bigger abortion with a lifetime .442 slugging percentage. In layman's terms.....you friggin' suck buddy. You should go back to roping cattle and getting weird with sheep and goats on your ranch. You belong on the bench wherever you go, hence the fact that you pick splinters out of your a$$ in each city your miserable self ends up in. So go eat some Gerber Graduates and take a nappy.

Good looks on the possible pickup, Yanks. Wow.

KABOOM

First off, I apologize for being MIA for so long, but I thought everyone else was posting better sh*t than I could, so I just enjoyed being a spectator. Second, wow, how 'bout them Yanks. Clemens???? He was supposed to help save your miserable season. I remember a post when Chieftain claimed that their staff would be unstoppable.

Wang

Pettitte

Clemens

Mussina

Hughes

WOW!!!!! Unreal. How can this staff be stopped?

I realize that f*cking with Chieftain has become too obvious on this site, but I still feel the need. This staff is doing just about as well as Rod Beck would be doing (sorry, too soon?). However, take a look at the numeros...

Mussina: 3-5, 4.98 ERA

Pettitte: 4-5, 3.24 ERA (not a bad ERA at all, but aren't the Yanks supposed to be offensive powerhouses?)

Clemens: 1-3!!!!! 5.32 ERA!!!!!! (HAHAHAHAHA)

You have got to be kidding me. This is the team that Chieftain has been touting this whole year? I'll give you Wang as a decent pitcher, even though his 7-4 record is par at best. Hughes may be good enough to be a legit pitcher in this league (if he gets healthy), but you need a lot more than that from your pitching staff.

Let me break it down for you this way...the Yanks need to win EVERY SINGLE 3 game series 2-1, and split their remaining 4 game series (obviously 2-2) to win 93 games this year. 93 games will not get them into the playoffs. They are in desperation mode. Goodbye Yanks. It's been fun.

Class Act. Captain. Champion.

On this day 33 years ago, a demi-god was born in Pequannock Township, New Jersey. His name? None other than Derek Sanderson Jeter. Mr. & Mrs. Charles Jeter...I owe you two my life!

As baseball's "captain" is soon to be voted into his 8th All-Star game, it's worth noting some of Jeter's significant achievements...

• 4-time champion (1996, 1998-2000)
• AL Rookie of the Year (1996)
• All-Star Game MVP (2000)
• World Series MVP (2000)
• Silver Slugger Award winner (2006) - From 1996-2003, A-Rod took home this honor in 7 of 8 years.
• 3-time Gold Glove winner (2004-2006)

Jeter's .318 career batting average is good for 5th among all active players (trailing only Ichiro, Helton, Pujols, and Vlad). He has been in the top 7 in the AL in both hits and runs scored for 9 of the past 10 years. Since the start of the 21st century, DJ is 3rd in the majors in hits and runs.

Oh, you want more?? Entering the season, Jeter has a career .314 postseason batting average with 17 HR's and 48 RBI's, as he has reached base in 105 of 119 postseason games. He holds Major League Baseball's record for career postseason hits (150) and runs scored (85). Simply put, DEREK JETER IS THE MOST CLUTCH BASEBALL PLAYER IN THE HISTORY OF BASEBALL. When it comes to the postseason, there isn't an active player that can sniff DJ's jock.

And, let's not even begin discussing Jeter's off-the-field resume. Similar to the above stats, the list of knockouts that Jeter has tapped out is almost beyond the realm of imagination.

Jessica Alba. Adriana Lima. Jessica Biel. Scarlett Johansson. Vanessa Minnillo. Jordana Brewster. Miss Universe Lara Dutta. Alyssa Milano. Rosario Dawson. Gabrielle Union. Mariah Carey (when in her prime). Tyra Banks (in her prime). Joy Enriquez (the real reason why Jeter and A-Rod's friendship has cooled off, as Jeter stole Joy from A-Rod). The list goes on-and-on-and-on...

Derek Jeter is baseball. Derek Jeter is New York City.

As Derek Sanderson Jeter is my second favorite athlete of all-time (trailing only the great Donnie Baseball), I will be celebrating the entire day of June 26th down by the beach. As the forecast calls for 93 degrees, it's becoming clear that God would never rain down on "Derek Jeter Day".

Jeter...for the past 12 years, I have loved you. Happy Birthday!

Joe Girardi: Don't Be An Idiot

Mr. Steinbrenner...please get Joe Girardi on the phone. He's currently employed by the giant which is the New York Yankees as a YES Network broadcaster...so, locating him (and ASAP)shouldn't be much of a task.

When you reach Mr. Girardi, assure him that he will be the Yankees manager next season (unless the Yanks win the World Series this year). During this conversation, cordially remind him that the Orioles play in the AL East...and that he has a far better chance of winning the lottery than the Orioles do of winning the division while under his tenure. Remind him that the two largest payrolls in baseball reside in the AL East. By taking the Orioles job, nothing good can come out of it! Remind him that he's a World Series champion, part of a dynasty, and the residing NL Manager of the Year. A WINNER. Baltimore doesn't breed winners, only failures. After a few inevitable seasons of continuous losing in Baltimore, Girardi's tip-top resume will be on life support. Lastly, remind him that Peter Angelos is the worst owner in baseball -- maybe in all of sports.

Joe...please make the right decision, as YOU (not Mattingly...despite my love affair for the guy) are next in line.

Carl Pavano Must Be a Born Loser...

In an effort to make this a short and sweet statement....look at the fiancee that just left him. Gia Allemand is a piece of a$$. No wonder this jerkoff can't pitch anymore. If I lost a chick that looked like this, I'd probably tuck it between my legs too! Way to go Carl!

A-Rod Only Hits Meaningless Home Runs

SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

(I can't even begin to imagine where the Yanks would be without baseball's best all-around player)...

Rivera = Game Over. Bet on it! Leave now to beat the traffic...

Money Well Spent??

How do these numbers sound to you? 22-29 with a .431 winning percentage and 13.5 games back of the league leader. Awful, right? If you were running/own this team, those numbers kind of make you want to lock yourself in your basement with a handle of Jim Beam and a shotgun and not come out until either one was empty. Today SI released their list of top 50 paid athletes in the country. How would you feel about those numbers, if after looking at that list, you noticed that 7.......7!!!!! players on your team were on that list. I don't think I'm going out on a limb here by saying that's as embarassing as having your mom walk in on you while your beating off. Here are the Yanks that appear on the list. Now keep in mind this included endorsements, so its not total salary by teams, but the average endorsement deal among these players is about $3.25 mil, topping off with Jeter getting $7 million and bottoming out with both Pettitte and Giambi getting $500,000 each.

1. Jeter: $29,000,000

2. A-ROD: $28,000,000

3. Clemens: $22,500,000

4. Giambi: $22,000,000

5. Matsui: $19,000,000

6. Pettitte: $16,500,000

7. Damon: $15,000,000

The only Sox player on the list was Manny, raking in $20,500,000 last year. I know you always hear about how huge the Yank's payroll is, but seeing it like this really helps you put into perspective exactly how absurd it really is. If you want to see the complete list click on link below. Discuss....

http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/more/specials/fortunate50/2007/index.html

Orlando

Enough is Enough

I've had the unfortunate luck of having to travel to NYC often for the past few months due to work purposes. Unlike my counterpart, Chieftain, who would beat off at such a proposal, the thought of spending any time in 'the city' absolutely makes my skin crawl. Its my opinion that they should put a toilet seat on top of that place because it looks, smells, and feels like crap. One of the adverse side-effects of my travels to New York has been being forced to listen to Sox/Yanks game on the radio. I'm not sure if any of you have had to stomach this, but one of their radio announcers is Suzyn Waldman and she's a miserable, stupid sh*tbag. She possesses little to no knowledge of the sport and I'm pretty sure she'd give a beener to any of the Yankee players if they would give her the time of day.....and yes, EVEN AROD (if he liked girls).

Now, even though I've always hated the Yankees, I've always had a certain amount of respect for the franchise. 26 World Series titles, 39 AL pennants, along with players like Mantle, DiMaggio, Maris, Gehrig, and Jeter...I think they warrant some degree of respect. But recently the combination of AROD's purple lips and Waldman's loose lips is too much! The Yankees are slipping and they need to get their house in order if they want to contend with the juggernaut that is the current Red Sox organization.

During tonight's game, Waldman was ranting and raving about Pedroia's comments about AROD. What is there to complain about??!!! It was an awful play, and he should be ashamed of himself. Waldman went on to explain that Pedroia has been in the majors for all of "2 and a half minutes" and didn't have the right.....THE RIGHT!!!!! Who the hell is this broad to know who does and does not have the right? I think she has the right to stick a sock in it. Furthermore, she went on to crap all over Farnsworth for giving up a HR to Crisp. Now don't get me wrong, pitchers should not be proud of giving up a HR to Coco or his dad, but show a little professionalism please! Not to mention her verbal orgasm when Clemens showed up in Steinbrenner's box the day he re-signed with the team...it sounded like she was tossing fingers in the friggin' studio. This chick is a disgrace and the Yankees and whomever hired her should be ashamed of themselves. Oh, and NY fans, it gets worse because she just re-signed a contract that has her being the 'voice' of the Yankees through 2011.

Have fun suckers.

Newsflash: AROD still a sh*tbum pickle...

I can't believe there has been no posts about this to date, so I feel this has to be addressed. I'm sure most people reading this watched the Sox/Yanks game on Tuesday, and witnessed the atrocity AROD pulled while sliding into second base during the eighth inning. If you didn't get a chance to see this, here's what happened. While sliding into second base, in an attempt to break up a double play, AROD (after sliding and while in the process of pulling up) threw an elbow at Pedroia. Not only is this the biggest bush-league move I've seen in majors since AROD slapped Arroyo's hand, but to make matters worse after starting to walk away AROD then turned and threw his purse at the back of Pedroia's head and scurried back to his dugout!

After thinking about this all day I can only come up with two conclusions. Either AROD is clinically retarded or he's the dumbest guy on the planet. For a guy that is so image-conscious, he continuously sh*ts all over his image by being a pickle on and off the field. Pedroia had this to say about the incident:

“He went in late and kind of threw an elbow,” Pedroia said. “It was a little cheap but no big deal. I’ll remember. I play second base. I’ve got to turn two with the Yankees 19 times a year, so I know now when he’s coming in, my (arm) slot gets dropped to the floor. That’s it.”

Normally, I would call foul on a rookie calling out a veteran, but in this case I like his attitude. Plus, you don't normally find such bush league moves coming from a veteran....go figure. I hope Pedroia thows a rocket right between his eyes right after AROD takes first base after getting drilled by Schill. The Yankees are a mess.