Thursday, December 13, 2007

Hippies Don't Know Their Ass From Their Elbow

I drive a gas guzzling SUV....and yes it costs me about $55 to fill that pig more often than not....but to be honest with you, I don't really give a shit. I could care less that my American made beast might omit more crap into the atmosphere....booo hoooo....the green effect...wahhhhhhhhh. What are you hippies going to do ? Tell Al Gore on me ? The proof is in the pudding. I just flew home at 45 MPH on side roads in 4 wheel drive during the middle of a blizzard. I saw at least a couple Ford Focuses and at least 2 HYBRIDS parked sideways off the road after not being able to hang with the big boys. How's your environmentally correct car now you pieces of shit ! I don't give a rat's ass if I'm preventing my grandchildren's grandchildren from breathing in healthy air....the only thing that matters is that I got home quickly and safely.

You lose again hippies....when will you ever learn ? Sick hybrid.....losers.

***and no I don't drive a Hummer....but just wanted to emphasize my point here.

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Arthur Blank Must Have Been A Real D-Bag In A Previous Life

How else can you explain how Blank has been utterly bent over plugged in his pooper recently? I mean this guy can’t buy a bucket right? Look at it this way. To say that picking Mike Vick number one overall in 2001 didn’t work out might be the biggest understatement since Schilling said if the Sox sign Santana they’ll have a tough time not winning 120 games. Sure, NFL teams make bad draft decisions all the time no big deal. But after the dog fighting debacle of the past year Blank lost his franchise player, his team's name was dragged through the mud, his team was ripped apart and he lost his fan base. But what’s worse is that Mike Vick helped rebuild the fan base in Atlanta. Vick sold out that stadium every Sunday and got the fans in Hotlanta interested in football again. Since then, the Falcons stink worse then ever. The player people were coming to see is just starting to serve a two year sentence and the fans aren’t showing up anymore.

Blank tried to make a power move to hire a new and upcoming coach in Bobby “two pump chump” Petrino to turn the franchise around. 13 weeks into the season Petrino poops out of his 3 year contract to sign with Arkansas. This nimrod signed contracts that add up to 14 years of service in a year and a half at three different places. Would you hire this guy? The players are pissed, Blank’s pissed, the fans are pissed and worst of all they still stink. Hopefully the players will band together and come out and kick some ass for the rest of the season just on general principle.

I’m not sure who you pissed off Art, or what type of heinous acts you committed in a previous life, but it must have been pretty awful to have this string of bad luck. Sorry dude. I feel bad for you. I really do.

P.S. On a complete side note, I think the comments Blank made during this weeks MNF game are completely fine. Give the guy a friggin break for christ’s sake.

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Kimbo Slice is a Bad Man

A good friend of mine introduced me to Kimbo Slice tonight. I had never heard of this guy....but holy sh*t....he's known as the new king of street fighting. He's a power puncher that doesn't get phased by anyone's punches and throws absolute hay makers and a crushing uppercut. I did find one fight on the internet where he loses to a huge guy....but this 9 minute video is out of hand. If this doesn't get your pulse racing and make you want to punch the next person that orders 67 coffees in front of you at Dunkin Donuts, then you are either high on drugs, or you're wearing tighty whities with skid marks on em.

Kimbo Slice is a baaaaaaad man. I'll whip your head boyyyyyyyyy.

Third Time is a Charm....or Not

OK, I have to admit that I hadn't had the opportunity to take Cornstarr's suggestion and view the 2girls1finger video after I had informed this site of the horrid things I first saw on 2girls1cup.

I watched the video tonight....and immediately started dry heaving and wishing I could poke my eyes out of my head. It wasn't until I was feeling very faint that I realized that there was a link below the video to the THIRD and final installment of the video trilogy. I am here to tell you that I no longer have faith in humanity. I think that we live in a filthy world and we're all going to hell. I can't even begin to comment on the sh*t fantasy web site's THIRD tummy turnover.

You all know you're gonna go right to the website at your first opportunity. So what are you waiting for ?

Crack Is Making A Comeback!

That’s right folks, our good ole friend crack cocaine is making a comeback and you heard it here first. Some nitwits down at the U.S. Sentencing Commission thought that all those “criminals’ who got busted for crack were actually really nice people with good hearts and decided to take a look at the law again. So this week they’re meeting to discuss/vote on the possibility of easing of crack cocaine punishment guidelines. Lets just say for the sake of this post that they actually do change the law and make the mandatory minimum sentencing much less drastic. Not only will they change the law moving forward, these retards are making the decision retro-active, so all the crackheads from New Jack City will reap the benefits. Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg's seems to be spearheading the movement….maybe she was in the holiday spirit with Chanukah and all.

Either way, just think in a few short months the flood gates will open and the onslaught will begin. Sorry to all of you guys who bought property in ‘new and upcoming’ neighborhoods. Those neighborhoods have recently been down-graded to ‘shit out of luck, spiraling downward rapidly’ neighborhoods.