The Magic Man Works Miracles

Hey guys, guess what...I have AIDS....no wait....just kidding. I am rich and have tons of drugs that nobody else has....na na na na pooh pooh...while millions die, I'll still be getting ass on the Los Angeles strip.

Now obviously, the Magic Man is more humble than this...what what a kick in the balls it is to normal and poor people....who get AIDS...and then....wait......here it comes.....ummm....DIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. People die of AIDS...fact. But somehow....Magic Johnson contracts HIV back in 1991....and 16 years later he is in better shape than anyone that is going to read this post....and I'd be willing to bet the hammer he carries around in his gym shorts is bigger than yours, too (disregard that last comment ladies).

So what is the secret? If I had AIDS...I'd be livid. I'd be breaking into Magic Johnson's lions den, and posting him up for whatever secret drug cocktail he drinks every day. He is the face of AIDS....but how can this guy really walk around and talk to people that have AIDS....when he knows that there is an actual way to beat the disease....and 99% are just fu*ked because they aren't rich enough to afford it.

I propose that we drag the Magic Man out of his house in our rubber gloves and wet suits, and beat him into submission until he forks over the cure for AIDS. I frankly don't give a damn about his no look passes, finger rolls, or finger bombs he dropped back in the 80's. If somehow we can beat the cure for AIDS out of him....we'll all be heroes....and then we can be rich. And, let me just tell you...if we get rich...we're hiring those bunny ranch hookers that get tested all the time....not the ones at LAX.

Larry Bird would do it.