Wednesday, April 11, 2007

Japan vs. Venezuela = WWIII

Boston Red Sox vs. Seattle Mariners
Dice-K (1-0) vs. King Felix (1-0)
7:05 PM at the Fens

While most retards will focus their attention on the potential battle for Japanese freedom that looms when Ichiro steps into the box against Matsuzaka today, it will be just another at bat for me. I could care less about Ichiro....he is what he is. A little singles hitting rat that steals bases all the time and throws a pea from the outfield. Good for you Ichiro....nobody cares. Do you even speak?

Real baseball fans will focus their attention to the two studs taking the mound today....the huge balls of Dice-K Matsuzaka vs. the future of flame throwing studs that is "King" Felix Hernandez. Hernandez is coming off a 12 K, 0 ER performance last week....that's just filthy. Dice-K was just as impressive fanning 10....but doing it in many different ways. Any way you look at it....there are going to be two work horses on the mound tonight at Fenway Park....and we'll see the future of baseball right before our very eyes.

Now we all know that Dice-K is from Japan...and we've had our fun with him so far here on this blog. But hey, King it's your turn. You are from Valencia, Venezuela???? Do you know what happened when I typed that into Google.....UPS just dropped off a kilo of blow at my doorstep from the 19 brothers and sisters you shared a room with. So here's to hoping that you indulge a little too much in the nose candy before your start, and you get the shakes and can't find the strike zone. I guess I should probably blame you for rising gas prices too, since your country exports some of the world's largest supplies of oil. My SUV just cost $48 bucks to fill you ugly prick. Thanks a lot. Why don't you just douse yourself in gasoline and light a match....because when Big Papi hits a 400 foot home run off you tonight, you'll wish you were back peddling blow in Central America.

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