Monday, April 9, 2007

Locked 'n Loaded


(Again, I have no idea whom this photo is of, as it was taken directly from Google -- but, this may be the greatest picture on the Internet right now.)


As a follow-up to the below post about BUCK HUNTER, this blog entry comes courtesy of the "Hunter Hero" himself (otherwise known as a friend from back home). Much thanks...

There are very few moments in one's life that allow him to booze face while wielding a shotgun racing to exterminate whatever life prances across the "screen".

I'm no hunter, you think, as you pick up the shotgun from its holdster. The game loads and you are tasked with determining what animal you'll kill today.

White tailed deer, you think, that reminds me of my youth in New England -- those cute animals on the side of the road -- eating grass, caring for their kin...White Tailed Deer it is. It's on f*ckers.

Seconds pass and your face is red. You taunt these weak animals for even trying to cross your screen without being pumped full of lead. You pump the shotgun with rhythmatic perfection and you think to yourself -- I KNEW that using my left hand once a week would pay off. It was all part of a grand plan to prepare me for the hunt.

That's right. We were all born for this moment. What will tomorrow bring? Tomorrow will bring the elimination of Elk from this planet, courtesy of you.

You're probably thinking what I'm thinking. If there was no Big Buck Hunter, would we be walking the streets ravaging whatever life stumbled upon us (as long as that life had horns)?

The answer is yes, my friends. The answer is yes. Put on your camo, stop working, and go to the bar. It's time to show those brainless mammals who's boss. The guy with the gun is boss, b*tches. Die slow.

-"Hunter Hero"

2 comments:

jennyv said...

If this is Graye Smith, winner of the BBHP, I'd love to talk to you for an article I'm writing about Big BUck Hunting. Let me know....cjs2137@columbia.edu
Katie

chuck-diesel said...

whats up with that weird chick's comment. Also, whats up with Plante being a pickle and obssessed with Buck Hunter. Get your head out of your ass!