Sunday, April 8, 2007

My Saturday Night as Davy Crockett

So, this being Easter Weekend...I went back home to RI. We rounded up a couple guys (and their significant others) and hit the local bar scene. However, I don't think I spoke a single word to the opposite sex all night long (assuming said significant others don't count).

Why, you ask??

Because I was consumed with the game known as BUCK HUNTER. Last night was the first time I had even heard of this game. But make no mistake about it, it certainly won't be the last.

Granted, I am absolutely terrible at this game. Truth be told, our entire crew was terrible (the exceptions being "Hunter Hero" and "Hunter Hero's B*tch").

However, I have every intention to turn pro in this game. When I buy my first home, this arcade-style game may very well be my initial purchase. For entertainment purposes, I now view BUCK HUNTER as the gold standard.

Lastly, I want to make it clear that I have no idea whom the girl in the above photo is (it was taken from the Google search engine). However, this photo demonstrates exactly how intense this game can be.


Hunter Hero said...

There are very few moments in one's life that allow him to booze face while wielding a shotgun racing to exterminate whatever life prances across the "screen."

I'm no hunter, you think, as you pick up the shotgun from its holdster. The game loads and you are tasked with determining what animal you'll kill today. White tailed deer, you think, that reminds me of my youth in New England--those cute animals on the side of the road--eating grass, caring for their kin...

White Tailed Deer it is. It's on fuckers.

Seconds pass and your face is red. You taunt these weak animals for even trying to cross your screen without being pumped full of lead. You pump the shotgun with rhythmatic perfection and you think to yourself--I KNEW that using my left hand once a week would pay off. It was all part of a grand plan to prepare me for the hunt.

That's right. We were all born for this moment. What will tomorrow bring? Tomorrow will bring the elimination of Elk from this planet, courtesy of you.

You're probably thinking what I'm thinking. If there was no Big Buck Hunter, would we be walking the streets ravaging whatever life stumbled upon us(as long as that life had horns)?

The answer is yes my friends. The answer is yes. Put on your camo, stop working and go to the bar. It's time to show those brainless mammals who's boss. The guy with the gun is boss, bitches. Die slow.

The NEW Hunter Hero said...

Alas, I was so captivated by my initial encounter with Big Buck Hunter that I returned for more action last night. That, and the fact that I left my tab open and credit card behind the bar at the same local wateringhole. It was you who bought the "Slippery Nipple" wasnt't it Chieftan?