Hottest Girl on The Planet by Far

I was about to make a post about how I predicted that the Red Sox would show up today and mash Jeff Weaver, Beckett would have over 7 K's (8), and that J.D. Drew would hit a tall jack.....but after seeing pictures of the new Dane Cook movie, "Good Luck Chuck", on the internet....I blacked out and can't remember what else happened in the game.

I'm literally speechless looking at some of these photos...but I'm posting just a few from idontlikeyouinthatway.com just to prove my point. I have always considered Jessica Alba the hottest chick on the planet, and this only solidifies my point. If you can get a chick that looks like this, and loves sports.....well, I'd like to kill you and steal your identity, or steal your skin like in the movie "Face Off." I've compiled just a short list of things I would do to sleep with Jessica Alba:

1) Stick my arm in a garbage disposal and turn it on.

2) Give myself paper cuts in between each finger, toe, on my tongue, and my balls.

3) I'd toss a baby into any body of water.

4) I'd let her take one good whack at my hog with a hammer after we were done.

5) I'd let someone drive into me with a car at 20 MPH.


Sure, many of you might think that I'm psychotic or just plain retarded...but I assure you, I'd do any one of these things. Jessica Alba is the cream of the crop.....she is everything I want in life. Why the fu*k couldn't I have been born rich and famous.....instead of not rich and the furthest thing from famous. Screw all of you.