Thursday, August 9, 2007

BREAKING NEWS: HERPES ON THE LOOSE?



The L.A. Rag Mag (http://laragmag.com/) is reporting that Derek Jeter gave Jessica Alba herpes?!?!?!?! It pains me to type this, but I'm sure this is going to become a much bigger local story in the coming days (every Boston outlet is sure to run with this), so I figured you may as well hear it first from either the L.A. Rag Mag or The Win Column.

The L.A. Rag Mag goes on to say the following...

"Jessica Alba used to date Derek Jeter, the serial celebrity dater, who plays for the NY Yankees. Well, our source worked for Cash Warren, her ex, and had to refill her Valtrex prescription for her on a regular basis! Guess who she got it from…that’s right…dirty Derek Jeter."

First Paris Hilton, then Mike "Ron Mexico" Vick, and now the King of NYC???

Can this be true? I mean, what is the L.A. Rag Mag???? Are they just trying to make a name for themselves? After all, the mere name of the magazine sounds unprofessional and scandalous. But hey, The Win Column is in the blogging business, and this news is certainly blog worthy.

With this news, I have so many questions. Jeter has banged nearly every American and international "10" there is. Don't you think word would have spread before now? Does Justin Timberlake have it? After all, they've been trading partners for some time now (i.e., Scarlett Johansson and Jessica Biel). How long is the "Valtrex line" today at the local Manhattan pharmacies?

As a side note...if this holds true, it's no wonder why Cash Warren is said to be devastated over the breakup with his longtime girlfriend, Jessica Alba. Not only is he never going to tap a better a$$, but he's now a single man that has potentially contracted herpes!!! Talk about a change of events...

...I'll be honest -- right now, I'm dumbfounded and deeply disappointed by this news. Similar to how Pats fans had viewed Tom Brady as invincible (before the whole baby mama drama), I have always viewed Jeter in the same light. Somebody, anybody...say it ain't so!

Suds -
knowing how much you love Alba, how are you holding up?

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

You guys were linked by SLAM Magazine yesterday.

Simply Suds said...

If this is true, I'd have a very tough....some would say "potentially life altering" decision to make.

todd gross said...

some hemoglobin early in the day. partly sunny in the afternoon, and then heavy herpes by nightfall. high of 85.

Anonymous said...

I'd contract herpes to bang Alba. And I'm sure 90% of the readers would too.

magic johnson said...

id get AIDS to fuck her.