Update #3 from Simply Suds -- "Puke on One's Chest does not Attract the Southern Bells"

Suds sent this along yesterday afternoon, but I wasn't near a computer...so, it's just now being posted...

It's Friday, and I'm on double digit beers down here in central standard time. Last night was a complete $hitshow. Our objective was to get some southern bells to cook us grits for breakfast after they woke up on our romantic Aero beds, but what really ended up happening was us finding gold. We ended up at a country bar that was having a promotion.....free Bud Lights. I repeat, free Bud Lights!! So as a group, we probably sucked down 60 of them, along with shots of Tequila and Southern Comfort. On we went to Tootsies (thanks to the reader that suggested this), and we're probably not allowed back. Some muscle head jerk-off from Chicago asked me if I wanted to fight for fun. Seeing as though I have my left hand bandaged up from stitches, I decided against throwing a sucker punch or bottle at the beast. He seemed ok with the answer, until he put his cigarette out on my cell phone because I didn't accept his invitation to "dance". Just as we made our way to the dance floor to boot, scoot, and boogey with some cuntay....we had 2 soldiers go down. One buddy completely threw up all over his chest in the middle of the bar, and another ran to the $hitter and hugged the toilet for a good 20 minutes. Needless to say, we didn't achieve any of our goals.....but we did black out again. Maybe tonight I'll hit for the cycle. We'll see. Have a good weekend!