Wednesday, August 1, 2007

Live Update from Simply Suds -- "On the Road Again"

This is Sudsy reporting live from Harrisonburg, VA on Route 81 South. I just had my first cold Bud Light from the inside of The Commodore's Dodge Neon....that looks more like a brothel than it does a car. There is a ton of unused farm land down here where everyone f*cks their relatives, and I now know why people tip cows over....they're smug as friggin' toddlers. They stare as you drive by, and all my fat mouth can do is water at the thought of their t-bone thigh in my gullet.

Last night in DC was interesting. We met up with some college buddies, and The Commodore spent most of the night talking to some young former victim of a slaying. I will say this though about DC....for some reason there are tons of hot escorts running through bars trying to sucker in some guy that is so fat he can't even see his own d*ck. As in, most of these girls are 9's out of 10. I think that's something that Boston bars should look into. I wonder how much it costs to have one of them suck you off in an alley......interesting question.

On the move to Nashville.....catch up with all of you perverts in the near future. I should be about 13 Bud Lights deep by Nashville.....and then things are going to start to get really, really weird.


Simply Suds said...

After driving through Blacksburg and wanting to punch Frank Beamer in his neck...I'm on beer # 10 in this UHAUL and I honestly think I will black out before the Tennessee border. I can't wait...I'm gonna boot, scoot, and boogey back to a dorm later.

Joseph said... we a favor. Swing by the Michael Vick Dogfighting Museum and pick me up a dog collar. Thanks Pal!

Simply Suds said...

Been driving through Tennessee for an hour...I'm on beer # 11 and I don't feel all that sober. I've been doing weird things to any and all girls we pass in whatever car I'm riding in...and I may get arrested soon. I love the dirty south. Do anal.

uuhhh, i get it, i have a job now said...

man, i wish i was with you clowns.

Carolina Red Sox said...

Be sure do scout out the nearest Steak and Shake while in TN... That place is the balls!