Tuesday, July 31, 2007

The Survey SAYS......

I just took a survey and it seems that the vast majority of women's athletic sports fans are either 10-14 year old girls or 30+ lesbian bull dykes. This intrigued me, so I did a some classic investigating during what my employer calls "A time" (see JMO for explanation). Here is what I came up with.

I would absolutely watch women sports if girls like this were showcased....

Natalie Gulbis of the LPGA: Just won her first tournament. I bet you are thinking the same thing I am: "I wish I was a flag stick right now or paid more attention to the Evian Masters this past weekend."

Franziska van Almsic: Multiple Olympic medal winning German Swimmer. They were too god damn busy talking about the Olympic Square bomber during the Atlanta games, rather than showing Franziska showering after her meet.

AnaPaula Mancino: Brazilian professional volleyball player. The volleyball I see on TV is always showing that tall girl who is BRUTAL looking and her 42-year-old dried out partner. If I'm going to watch women's volleyball, then AnaPaula deserves a bye in every round, ensuring that she automatically makes the finals.

So if I was a marketing/advertising TV executive/guru, which I think I should be, I would be tossing a$$ like this all over the screen! Unless, of course, you are a brutal looking biker dyke that thinks this is degrading to women. I bet I could get you all to watch whatever f^cking sport these goddesses of beauty were playing or doing.

So guys, take a look at your TV guide to see when one of their next event is. Get yourself a bottle of Jergen's, a box of tissue or sock, and a 12 pack of American beer and enjoy!

The new survey would say...get these a$$es on TV immediately!

No comments: