Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Who Would You Rather?







Very slow news day today...

You're Jay-Z. You're 37 years old. You're one of the greatest rappers of all-time. You're the current President and CEO of Def Jam and Roc-A-Fella Records. You co-own the 40/40 Club (which, by the way, is a terrible spot). You're co-owner of the New Jersey Nets. You are the second richest hip-hop entertainer (only behind Sean "Puffy" Combs), having reeled in a net worth of $340 million. In short, you're the "Jigga" Man.

That's all fine and dandy -- but, the real question is...which chick should be "wearing your chain"?? As Jay-Z is clearly cleaning both pipes, who should be Jigga's go-to?

In one corner...we have Beyonce, 25, his current girl. In the other corner, we have...Rihanna, 19 -- the one Sean Carter is said to be "mentoring". Down by 2, who's taking the last shot?

To me, Beyonce defines the term "hit-or-miss" (great abs, dumpy oak trees for legs). Beyonce is beautiful...absolutely flawless face. But, at the same time, she is BIG...as in, large and in-charge...as in, she could whip out a jackhammer down below (if you know what I mean) and it wouldn't come as a surprise. Lastly, it's well documented that Beyonce is very diva-like and high maintenance, an obvious red flag when it comes to bedroom antics...I'm willing to bet the house that she's a bore in the sack when compared to Rihanna.

Rihanna, on the other hand, isn't nearly as accomplished as Beyonce. But, who cares?? Remember...hypothetically speaking, you're Jay-Z!! She's just entering her sexual peak -- and, by the looks of it, she'd be down to "get down" with your entire entourage at a whim's notice.

Me?? In a close call, I'd rather ride with Beyonce, but it's my duty to present you a compelling case. To each his own...

7 comments:

Norman P. Orlando said...

Chieftain, that was probably the funniest post i've ever read of yours..."she could whip out a jackhammer down below (if you know what I mean)"....priceless. To get to the question at hand, i'd have to choose Rihanna. Its been my experience to always to with the younger, more slender girl. Not that I always follow that advice.

Anonymous said...

Consider this Orlando, rumor has it Rihanna might rock cankles...

Simply Suds said...

19 is way hotter than 25. Do the math they taught you in 1st grade. 25 is greater than 19.

Ring the bell, Rihanna takes it.

SlowStuff said...

You ready B????!!! You couldnt keep me away from Rhiannas sweet ass!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Simply Suds said...

If umbrella = dick, she can stand under my umbrella, ella, ella, eyyy, eyyy, eyyy.

The Commodore said...

I want beyonce and those child bearing hips!

Simply Suds said...

Commodore, you love thick hips.