Wednesday, June 20, 2007

Congrats to Tiger

I completely forgot to congratulate Tiger Woods on having his first child, a girl named Sam over the weekend. Frankly, I don't give a rat's a$$ about Tiger Woods, or how he spends his $110 million dollars annually, but at least he mustered up enough courage to not pull out of his smoke show of a wife....because I would have done the same. Looks-wise, she is so out of his league it's not even funny. It's right there on the same level as the heinous kid in college that walks into the cafe with the ridiculously hot girlfriend. You eat your breakfast, your lunch, and your dinner wondering how the hell that kid pulled such a piece of yum-yum in the first place. There's two possible explanations for this phenomenon.........he's got an enormous hammer stashed in his drawers, or his family has bank accounts with a serious amount of 0's at the end.

Cheers to you, Elin. I know you have a ton of money on your own from selling Ricola in your country....but damn are a friggin' smoke show. Good for you for having little Tiger Woods with your tiny bod......Tiger is a lucky a$$ son of a bitch. Sweden must be a hidden gem for hot chicks. I propose a Win Column field trip to see how much blond hair I can get in my teeth, finger nails, and pubes. CSI ain't got $hit on me.


Anonymous said...

Her pussy is definitely shaved, and probably tastes like Laffy Taffy.

Anonymous said...

i want to kick her in the stomach