Where's the Lunkers At?

Dave Masters, of Bixby, recently caught the third largest bass recorded in Oklahoma. The lunker tipped the scales at 14 pounds, 8.5 ounces. Below that, Clinton Sumner of California reeled in this 16 pound, 13 ounce absolute friggin monster Largemouth Bass in April 2000.

Looking at these fish make me want to punch myself in the face until I pass out. I've been fishing religiously since the age of 5....and the biggest largemouth bass I've ever caught is just over 4 1/2 pounds.....and that only happened once....most of the bass I catch are around or under 2 pounds. What the F?!?!?!? Where the hell do these monsters hide? I know they exist in Massachusetts....the state record of 12 lbs was caught a couple of miles from where I grew up.

What am I doing wrong? It's not the skill or technique....I mean, how hard is it to use live bait? Hook the goddamn thing and throw it out there....even a complete boob job could figure that out. I've caught enormous stripers before....but I am looking for the ultimate fresh water prize to add to my resume. These photos make me furious. I'd be willing to sucker punch either one of these losers for their fish. These guys probably banged their fish. They look like sick bastards. Damn pervs.