A Thirst for Life, Love, and Happiness

I recently had an awakening.....like Robert DeNiro when he shiverred all over that movie. I decided that Simply Suds had a calling in life....a real mission. I'd like to announce this to the world. I am throwing my hat into the ring of life that is...the working world. I'm going to be a teacher. Sure, that might mean I pissed away a 120K degree in finance/economics to fight 8th graders....but who gives a damn. I'm gonna teach smut to the world....and then ruin some kids day by being an absolute dickhead of a coach as soon as the bell rings. Too tired to do up/downs? Too dehydrated to hit that popsicle sled? Did you really just miss the cut off man in outfielder drills? Guess what you smug little 16 yr old prick. You might have a smokin hot girlfriend that you drill all the time in your parent's basement....but when you are on my watch.....I want you to pretend like this is Hoover High. Carpe Diem. Seize the day you ungrateful bastard. Cuz when you are 25 years old....you'll wish you could do a brake stand in the high school parking lot in your 1989 Chevy Blazer while listening to Dave Matthews Jimi Thing.......all while realizing you're half man, half god.