I Can Be Your Hero, Baby

Although he takes a stupid amount of crap, Kevin Federline might have the best gig going....in fact, I'd go as far as to say that he's my role model. All this guy does is travel around the country, partying until the sun comes out or the coke runs out, or the Cristal is gone....all at the expense of his train wreck disgusting wife. Normally it's the women that get to live like gods after they split from their husbands because they're greedy douchebags...but now, it's our turn to see a guy piss away his wife's hard earned loot. He's probably at the top floor of the Palms Casino right now engaging in sex acts with numerous girls that I'd cut off my pinky finger and big toe just to caress their lower back. They could be engaging in skat for all I know. They're definitely gettin' weird up there....I know that.

If there are any rich women out there on the verge of an emotional break down....please call me. I have no problem using you for your money, so that me and my friends can live the "Entourage" lifestyle. No seriously, call me....I love you.