12 Days Until Opening Day

It could have been the titanic blast I launched into the parking lot during yesterday's BP session....but I've never been so excited to play an organized sport in my horrific 25 year old life. My life is actually this bad, that I have to count the days until I play Men's Softball with a bunch of gym class heroes and prick bastards. I'll probably yell at umpires, opposing players, and wink at any clam in the stands before I tuck in my 2 XL jersey into my boxers to get the slimming effect.

I'm dialing 9 for long distance early and often this season. For all opposing players that read this website, and I know there's a few of you, your team sucks. Go to hell, it's all about the red and navy blue.

It's also about the 3 Bud Lights I drink before the game, and the 13 after the game...but that's a whole different blackout that will be blogged about after Opening Day on May 7th.