99.9% of Chicks are Friggin' Lunatics

I always figured Carrie Underwood to be one of those "goody-goody" chicks that would tounge the hell out of you at a bar, but then leave you with blue balls as you walk home with a much less attractive chick at last call. So imagine my surprise when I was listening to Channel 1 on Sirius radio (don't ask why...it was just on, so deal with it) and for the first time I heard this Carrie Underwood song. When it got to the chorus, my mouth dropped. It goes a little sumthin' like 'dis....hit it........

I dug my key into the side of his pretty little suped up 4 wheel drive,

Carved my name into his leather seats.

I took a Louisville Slugger to both head lights,

Slashed a hole in all 4 tires.

Maybe next time he'll think before he cheats.

I realize that Carrie Underwood just looks good and probably didn't write a lick of this song, but she has the "balls" to sing it, so we're gonna assume she did. What a friggin' psycho. Your boyfriend cheats on you, so you completely trash his car? Judging from your analysis....you'll need keys, a baseball bat, and a knife. Listen up honey, maybe that's why he's cheating on you in the first place.....you're a goddamn lunatic. The chick he's bangin' now probably isn't planning on trashing his car over a little hanky panky. Trashing a dude's car over cheating is a little much, no? Get over it, move on. Go to the local bar, show your ta-ta's, and go home with some other dude that's gonna get it done. You're pretty hot....why all the hostility? I'd bang ya.

Not all chicks are psycho....there is .1% of the population missing that chromosome....but, they live in the depths of the Amazon, and could not be reached for comment.