My Worst Nightmare

Naomi Campbell has recently quit drinking since she realized that she was allergic to alcohol.

“I choose not to drink today in my life because I find that I’m allergic to alcohol. I’m not someone that’s in denial of my problems and I’m not going to lie about my problems and I’m not hiding my problems. I have more energy and I have more fun than when I was drinking and I can hang out really late and get up early in the morning with no hangovers and still smile.”

Holy crap. Can you imagine what your life would be without the tranquilizing effects of a nice alcoholic beverage? Drinking is pretty much the most fun thing in the world. No? A cold beer is pretty much my version of heaven....especially if it's a tall one in a frosty mug. What the hell would college have been like without drinking 98% of the entire time I was there? No kegs? No ice luges? I might as well have cut my d*ck off too....because I wasn't really going to get laid sober. Concerts without booze? Yah right. I enjoy the 16 beers I put back before blacking out to a nice concert. The beach? The god damn beach!!!!!!!!!! A hot summer day, ice cold Bud Lights.....horse shoes???????? Oh my friggin; God. Beer pretty much makes the world go 'round. I love you beer, don't ever leave me. And screw you Bacardi, you piece of crap.

Can anyone explain to me what the hell that mutant in the photo is doing? I googled beers at the beach, and Joe Dirt somehow popped out of the woodwork. Wow....what a pervert.