Breaking News: Rodney Harrison Suspended 4 Games For HGH

The NFL has suspended New England Patriots safety Rodney Harrison 4 games for violating the league's substance-abuse policy.

Earlier today, Harrison admitted to both federal investigators and Roger Goodell that he had been using Human Growth Hormone.

Initial speculation indicates that Harrison has been a continuous user of HGH for at least 2+ years. More to come...

FYI: Asante Samuel to Report Next Week

The NFL Network's Adam Schefter is reporting that CB and "franchise player" Asante Samuel will report to the Patriots next week. It appears he will sign his one-year, $7.79 million franchise tender shortly.

...If this doesn't get Suds' spirits up, I'm officially perplexed.

As a side note -- while searching "Asante Samuel", I came across the notion that Samuel improved his 40-yard dash time from 5.4 seconds during his sophomore year of high school to 4.3 seconds before entering the NFL Draft. This stat must be inflated, right? Unless Samuel was a dwarf as a high school sophomore, I fail to believe that such an improvement is humanly possible.

Larry Maroney Is Ready To Take Some Licks

According to today's Boston Globe, Lawrence Maroney is shedding his red, non-contact practice jersey today, and will be participating in all full contact drills. Hopefully, this means we'll be seeing Maroney in this week's pre-season game. Randy Moss apparently was not in the building, and the Patriots will continue to treat him cautiously and just get him ready for opening day against the Jets.

I'm starting to get a little worried about Richard Seymour. Granted, he basically never shows up for training camps or pre-season games.....and I'm ok with that. He's a major asset to the defense that cannot afford to get hurt during games that don't count. He knows his responsibility like the back of his hand. But, I haven't even seen him around.....hopefully, he's just doing some extra stretching.

Go Pats!

Curtis "My Favorite" Martin to Announce He's Hangin' Up the Spikes

An article in today's New York Post states that former New England Patriots and current New York Jets running back Curtis Martin will announce his retirement later this week. Martin is doing the classy thing here and voiding the final two years of his contract in 2008 and 2009 where he was set to earn millions, and will reduce his 2007 salary from $3.25 million to the NFL veteran minimum salary of $820,000. Martin hasn't been active on a game day since Week 13 of the 2005 NFL season (ironically, against the Patriots in New England) due to a chronic bone-on-bone knee condition.

Curtis, let me be the first member of The Win Column to thank you for your three years of service here in New England. You were an absolute beast in 1995 and 1996, and helped get the Patriots back to their first Super Bowl since the 1985 season. Martin's career numbers are absolutely sick:

168 career games (166 started)
3518 rushing attempts
14,101 rushing yards - 4th All-Time
10 straight 1,000 yard rushing seasons (matched only by Barry Sanders)
4.0 Yds/Rush Avg.
100 Total Touchdowns (90 rushing, 10 receiving)

A first ballot Hall-of-Famer when eligible in 2011, and a total class act on the football field....Curtis Martin did it all the right way. Hopefully, he stays within the game of football to show some of the degenerates, that currently play, the right way to carry themselves within the lines.

http://www.nypost.com/seven/07242007/sports/jets/final_curt_ain_martin_to_make_retirement_official_jets_mark_cannizzaro.htm

Should They Pay Him, Let Him Play "Franchised" for a Year.... or Let Him Walk.....

Although there have been conflicting reports today on whether or not the Patriots and CB Asante Samuel are close on reaching a long-term deal....I feel it's necessary to weigh in on the situation. Samuel said over the weekend that he doesn't plan on holding out through the entire training camp....mostly because of his franchise tag that will pay him a cool $7.79 million this season. I'd say that's a pretty decent reason to show up. Should they not sign him, the Pats would probably just franchise him again next season, and we'd have to listen to this saga all over again.

So I throw it out to you. Should they sign him to a long-term deal now? Let him play for the $7.79 million and THEN sign him/let him walk? Trade him? Personally, I trust that whatever the front office is planning to do is the right move. But I happen to think Asante Samuel is one hell of a defender, and has keen instincts on getting to where the ball WILL BE, even before the receiver. Those instincts aren't really taught, and are tough to come by in today's NFL cornerback. My vote is to lock him up at decent money now, or let him play out the season at $7.79 million and let him walk after. What's yours?

Can Someone Please Hire Me....

Corey Dillon has basically been begging for a job for the past 6 months....all with zero success. Most recently, he told the media that he "liked" the Dolphins. He's also "liked" the Titans, Chiefs, Raiders, Browns, and Eagles. I actually feel bad for Corey Dillon....but he's wayyyyyyy past his prime. Two years ago, he was running over people at an alarming rate and was just an absolute beast for my beloved Pats. He's out of gas though. He's now a backup or change-of-pace back for a couple series a game. Last year, he went down on the first hit easier than I go down after my 11th Bacardi and Diet. Just retire Dillon for f*cks sake....don't embarrass yourself and stick around longer than you have to. You've got your ring.....and you pretty much did the unthinkable when you showed up to New England....you kept your mouth shut and played hard. Don't let us down.

One More Year!!

Guess who's back again?? That's right, everyone's favorite New England Patriot, Troy Brown. According to the Boston Herald, the Pat's all-time leading receiver (557 catches), has signed a one year deal that will bring him back for a 15th season. The 36-year-old veteran is battling back from knee surgery to prove he's got at least one more year. This move obviously does not guarantee the Pat's another Superbowl, but it does put some serious class and hard working talent back in the locker room. I love having "old faithful" players like this on the field; it gives me chills every time a player like Troy Brown steps on the field. I personally cannot wait for this upcoming NFL season! DYNASTY BITCHE$ HAHA!

Which Boston Athlete Will Start Opening Day for the Pats?

With the Celtics acquisition of "Big Baby" Davis (far right), Bill Belichick has a tough decision on his hands going into training camp.

Who should start at tight end for the Pats this season?

We all know that Willy Mo Pena (center) and Davis will have little impact on their respective teams, so why not have them along side Ben Watson (far left)? Belichick sweats tight ends and I am willing to give him two more........

Randy Moss Has a Friend in Maroney

According to Kissing Suzy Kolber, Maroney refers to himself as Laurence "Koolaid" Maroney on Facebook.

http://kissmesuzy.blogspot.com/2007/06/koolaid-maroney-wants-u-to-wash-u-ass.html

His Facebook account goes on to provide some of his favorite quotes...

• "Wash u a$$"
• "Bout time we got some construda in dis mothaf*cka"
• "U Begal $h*tting"
• "Your a$$ backwards if you chase hoes, chase the cheese they come with the sh*t."

Relax, Master P! What are the Vegas odds that "Koolaid" Maroney falls victim to a Roger Goodell suspension in the coming years? I love his chances. Sammy Morris, be ready...

Glitter, Glisten, Gloss, Floss...I Catch a Beat Runnin' Like Randy Moss

That subject quote is courtesy of Outkast "The Whole World."

Moss and Stallworth split wide.....Welker in the slot....and Big Ben Watson running insane routes at alarming speeds from the tight end position. Stop it, just friggin' stop it. This is actually our football team that we're going to be able to enjoy on Monday's, Sunday's, and maybe an occasional Thursday depending on the NFL schedule. Wow. I was speechless watching Moss catch balls in stride on TV tonight from Pats minicamp. Throw in the fact that Laurence Maroney will be in the backfield....I don't really see how this offense can be stopped if everyone does their job. Because it's clearly obvious that Tom Brady is the leader of the team and he will make plays happen....even Chieftain (who's probably going to be the fan of yet another football team this year) cannot debate this. Peyton Manning can go straight to hell for all I care. Around here, it's all Pats, all the time. If you don't like it, F you.

Don't even get me started about the defense...which is a completely different defense when Rodney Harrison is on the field like a hornet whose nest was just rattled. Adalius Thomas is taking inside linebacker reps.....so all NFL running backs should be on high alert...because you can be sure that you're going to see Mr. Thomas on quite a few episodes of "JACKED UP!"

Think Randy Moss has lost a significant step at the age of 30? Think again. Take it from Rodney Harrison himself, who has seen the best WR's the NFL has had to offer over his 13 seasons.

"Are you kidding me? He runs the same as I've seen him. You watch him this year. Watch any team that tries to put its best cornerback on him one-on-one. I can't wait to see that. He will eat you alive. Ain't no way he's lost his legs.''

So who's booking the Super Bowl trip soon? Phoenix sounds like a great place to get weird. I have no problem being escorted out of the U of Arizona or Arizona State for behaving badly. There is a lot of territory to go clamming in the desert. Let's make it happen.

A Fallen Patriot

The Win Column would like to express its deepest condolences to the family and friends of New England Patriots defensive end Marquise Hill, who died tragically after falling off a jet ski in New Orleans over the holiday weekend. It has been learned that just prior to his death, Hill used his final moments of life to help the young woman who was on the jet ski with him, find a safe place to hold on to, until help could arrive. Former LSU teammates and current Patriots Randall Gay and Jarvis Green said it best when they said, "We lost a brother today. Knowing that I have to go back to work and go look at his locker this week, it's tough."

Most of the people reading this probably don't remember who Marquise Hill was, because he was made inactive for the better part of the last few seasons, but he was an absolute beast at LSU, and was a member of the 2004 Patriots Super Bowl team after being drafted that same year in the 2nd round after winning the national championship with the Tigers. He never was able to start for the Patriots, but that doesn't really matter. Football, unlike any other sport to my knowledge, is a brotherhood. Even the guys that don't see a lick of playing time, yet share those jokes and laughs at lockers right next to yours, mean the world to the entire team. These are the guys you go to war with, day in, day out. They are feeling the same sprains, breaks, and bruises (probably 100% more than any starter because the starters don't get worked as hard).

What we never knew was how involved Hill was in his hometown community, especially after Hurricane Katrina. He personally helped rebuild the homes of family and friends and spent a good portion of his salary doing so, I'm sure.

These are the type of players that should be glorified. Not the punks, the druggies, the wife beaters, the DOG FIGHTERS, the pistol whippers. Soft spoken, did his job, and helped give back to the community that was able to give him the opportunity in the first place.

Rest in peace, Marquise Hill.

Aloha Seau

It was reported this morning that the Patriots and Junior Seau have agreed to another one year contract, however, the terms are currently undisclosed. I wanted to go on record as saying this is a hell of a signing. Normally, I'm not one to sing praises for a USC alum....but I love his intensity, football smarts, and gerry curl. Not only is he a great asset on the field, but I think his off-field leadership will go a long way down the stretch, particularly in helping new players get acclimated to the 'way things work' in New England. He's a great team leader (on a team that has many), leads by example, and is always one of the hardest working guys on the team.

Another stellar move by the Pats' management.

Mahalo.

Hot Chicks and Super Bowl Rings

Yes, Tom Brady has hammered his fair share of models and actresses....and yes, Tom Brady has 3 Super Bowl rings....and yes, Tom Brady is probably in Venice having unprotected sex with Gisele....because that's what Champions do. Well, according to a story that ESPN broke after 6 PM tonight.....Tom is thirsty for another title. Brady restructured his contract so that Randy Moss could be moved quickly to the Patriots....before the Packers and Brett Favre could snag him. Brady won't take a pay cut, but will likely shift some money around with either bonuses, or other parts of his current deal.

Good for you, Tom. There's nothing I'd like to do more than throw up on myself in Arizona when I personally watch you win a Super Bowl. I'm gonna get so god damn drunk...I'll probably end up giving verbal to Warren Sapp as I wet my drawers. I can't wait for Arizona.....the temperature is going to be hot.....with thousands of hot chicks.....Arizona.....Arizona State. I'll go deep in a Wildcat or Sun Devil.....maybe I'll even try anal. Suds says....."See you at the SuperBowl, bit*hes."

Straight Ca$$$$$$$$$$$h Homey

Do you realize how friggin' ridiculous the Patriots are? Take a second, punch yourself in the junk....and think about it. They are....that good. I don't have to hear the names of queers like Jabbar Gaffney (who looks like he's strung out on crack) or any other stiff receivers anymore. All I'm gonna hear is Tom Brady throwing laser darts (not finger darts...which I likkkeeeeee) to Moss and Stallworth. Chieftain cried yesterday when we got Moss, because his beloved Peyton isn't gonna be mentioned at all. All you're gonna hear is that Tom Brady just threw for his 77th touchdown pass by Week 9 and probably went down on a model at halftime.

Randy Moss is on the New England Patriots. Do you realize what I just said? Best team I have ever seen on paper....ever. I'm fat, you're all losers, but we got Moss. Yeahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Patriots: 2007 Schedule

Sunday, Sept. 9 – at Jets

Sunday, Sept. 16 – vs. Chargers (NBC, 8:15)

Sunday, Sept. 23 – vs. Bills

Monday, Oct. 1 – at Bengals (8:30)

Sunday, Oct. 7 – vs. Browns

Sunday, Oct. 14 – at Cowboys (4:15)

Sunday, Oct. 21 – at Dolphins

Sunday, Oct. 28 – vs. Redskins (4:15)

Sunday, Nov. 4 – at Colts (4:15)

Sunday, Nov. 11 – BYE

Sunday, Nov. 18 – at Bills

Sunday, Nov. 25 – vs. Eagles (NBC, 8:15)

Monday, Dec. 3 – at Baltimore (8:30)

Sunday, Dec. 9 – vs. Steelers

Sunday, Dec. 16 – vs. Jets

Sunday, Dec. 23 – vs. Dolphins

Saturday, Dec. 29 – at Giants (NFL Network, 8:30)

For those of you keeping count/score...that's 2 Monday Night games (with no Joe Thiesmann), 2 Sunday Night games, and 1 Saturday Night game.

Potential blood-bath: Week 2 vs. San Diego

Say it ain't so Asante

Recent reports coming out of the Patriots' camp say that Asante Samuel is extemely unhappy that the conversations to extend his franchise contract to a long term deal have stalled. He had this to say to the NFL Network last night:

“This is to let everybody know that I’m not happy anymore and things are not going well,” Samuel said. “At first I thought it was going well, but it’s not. We have a difference of opinion in my value. They think I’m worth one price and the other teams think I’m worth a lot more. If a long-term deal can’t be done at fair numbers for me and New England, then I want to be traded.”

Ok, ok, I get it...the Pats do this to all of their players...in Bill we trust...yada, yada yada. But come on! This guy lead the NFL with 10 picks last year on a team where the secondary has more holes in it than Tom Boyce's underwear. With the sick acquisitions the Pats have made to the defense, now is not the time to piss off the best player you have in the secondary. So please, pretty please......MAKE ASANTE HAPPY!!!