Wednesday, August 29, 2007

There is No Stopping Mike Tyson

Have $31?? If so, you can now own Mike Tyson's $hit.
$12.75 will get you Tyson's skin cells...and $6.75 will earn you Tyson's bacteria.

Celebrity Skin and Bodily Fluids, a Los Angeles based company thats pawns off bacteria samples of celebrities.

In case you were wondering, "federal laws simply require that our samples not create an immediate threat of injury or disease propagation. Our fecal matter, urine, saliva, and sweat specimens are hermetically sealed in unbreakable plastic containers to prevent any unwanted personal injury. Bacteria and skin cells are sealed within heavy-duty glass microscope slides."

...And, what if you could obtain Courtney Love's (or some other celebrity's) vaginal fluid??

"It depends on how much you can get, the current availability of that celebrity’s specimens, and whether we have the resources to properly identify the specimen in our routine tests. Sellers of accepted specimens will usually earn roughly $500 to $1000 dollars, depending on type of specimen and quantity. Contact us directly for more information regarding this."

...Now, I've never been to L.A., but I'm beginning to think that all people in L.A. are sick and demented. I mean, this company was started by a group of former personal assistants. In my mind, L.A. is full of Spencer Pratt's.

On second thought, I would love to see this company's financials. Could it be possible that these former assistants are making a good living off this novelty? If so, I've never been more disappointed with my American peers.

Also, while we're on the topic of "Iron Mike", when's the last time anyone heard anything about Robin Givins? What happened to her?

Weigh in on this, as I need a sounding board...


carolina red sox said...

chalk it up boys. the win column is about as done as mike mussina's career.

carolina red sox said...

That was an imposter who wrote the above column... But I agree.

Buster Douglas said...

I beat that ass back in the ghetto living is the way.

Rollin' dice in the hood wit my nigga thru at Bojangles is how we get our eats on!