Friday, July 27, 2007

Fly Me to the Moon...

Fly me to the moon
And let me play among the stars
Let me see what spring is like
On Jupiter and Mars
In other words hold my hand
In other words darling kiss me

Fill my life with song
And let me sing forevermore
You are all I hope for
All I worship and adore
In other words please be true
In other words I love you

-Frank Sinatra


I apologize for getting caught up in a Sinatra moment, but sometimes you just gotta feel the song and get emotional. Per today, NASA has released information that says that a bunch of U.S. astronauts have flown space shuttles while absolutely dizzle-hawked.

A panel found that flight surgeons allowed intoxicated astronauts to fly on the shuttle.

The revelation shocked former astronauts and came as NASA deals with the apparent sabotage of a computer bound for the orbiting international space station.

Earlier an Aviation Week story based on the report said the agency found "heavy use of alcohol" by astronauts within 12 hours of launch -- a violation of NASA's standard 12-hour "bottle-to-throttle" rule.

Ok, ok, ok....I'm f*cking confused. NASA has a standard "12 hour bottle to throttle rule"???? So, astronauts can get sh*tfaced after twelve hours that atomic jet blasts off from earth? No wonder we haven't done a god damn thing up in space. Seriously, what do they do up there? We should have been to planets and all that good crap, but instead....our astronauts were pounding booze, getting weird, and probably enjoying some good ol' fashioned space sex while we were expecting results. Actually, good for them. Astronauts are now my new heroes. You want see another headline on put me in a space shuttle with 10 30-packs of Bud Light, two bottles of Bacardi, and four 2-liters of Diet Pepsi.....and I'll show you how weird things can get up in orbit.


Buzz Aldrin said...

The 12-hour "bottle to throttle" rule is a general rule of thumb used by all Military Service pilots (AF, Navy, etc.) which dictates that no pilot is to sauce less than 12 hours prior to take-off... not 12 hours after take-off... if these guys were boozing AFTER they were all ready in orbit, then that's another story.

And use your head... you really think we're just looking for ET up there? Our work in space has huge military applications. NASA doesn't highlight that stuff in their press releases for obvious reasons. The Air Force, for example, has a whole Command dedicated solely to space operations. In 2005, they changed their mission statement to specifically include space: "The mission of the United States Air Force is to deliver sovereign options for the defense of the United States of America and its global interests -- to fly and fight in Air, Space, and Cyberspace." Satellite communications, space-based radar, the list goes on and on. Be happy we're up there... this is one area of Defense where our tax dollars are being well spent.

jack mehoff said...

Well spent? You don't do a goddamn fuckin' thing up there. Take your 12 hour rule and shove it up your ass Buzz Lightyear.