Tuesday, June 26, 2007

Class Act. Captain. Champion.

On this day 33 years ago, a demi-god was born in Pequannock Township, New Jersey. His name? None other than Derek Sanderson Jeter. Mr. & Mrs. Charles Jeter...I owe you two my life!

As baseball's "captain" is soon to be voted into his 8th All-Star game, it's worth noting some of Jeter's significant achievements...
  • 4-time champion (1996, 1998-2000)
  • AL Rookie of the Year (1996)
  • All-Star Game MVP (2000)
  • World Series MVP (2000)
  • Silver Slugger Award winner (2006) - From 1996-2003, A-Rod took home this honor in 7 of 8 years.
  • 3-time Gold Glove winner (2004-2006)

Jeter's .318 career batting average is good for 5th among all active players (trailing only Ichiro, Helton, Pujols, and Vlad). He has been in the top 7 in the AL in both hits and runs scored for 9 of the past 10 years. Since the start of the 21st century, DJ is 3rd in the majors in hits and runs.

Oh, you want more?? Entering the season, Jeter has a career .314 postseason batting average with 17 HR's and 48 RBI's, as he has reached base in 105 of 119 postseason games. He holds Major League Baseball's record for career postseason hits (150) and runs scored (85). Simply put, DEREK JETER IS THE MOST CLUTCH BASEBALL PLAYER IN THE HISTORY OF BASEBALL. When it comes to the postseason, there isn't an active player that can sniff DJ's jock.

And, let's not even begin discussing Jeter's off-the-field resume. Similar to the above stats, the list of knockouts that Jeter has tapped out is almost beyond the realm of imagination.

Jessica Alba. Adriana Lima. Jessica Biel. Scarlett Johansson. Vanessa Minnillo. Jordana Brewster. Miss Universe Lara Dutta. Alyssa Milano. Rosario Dawson. Gabrielle Union. Mariah Carey (when in her prime). Tyra Banks (in her prime). Joy Enriquez (the real reason why Jeter and A-Rod's friendship has cooled off, as Jeter stole Joy from A-Rod). The list goes on-and-on-and-on...

Derek Jeter is baseball. Derek Jeter is New York City.

As Derek Sanderson Jeter is my second favorite athlete of all-time (trailing only the great Donnie Baseball), I will be celebrating the entire day of June 26th down by the beach. As the forecast calls for 93 degrees, it's becoming clear that God would never rain down on "Derek Jeter Day".

Jeter...for the past 12 years, I have loved you. Happy Birthday!


Anonymous said...

Who blows a bubble while they are turning two? That's awful.

Anonymous said...

its not as bad as blowing dudes while he eats breakfast

Anonymous said...

I like the original derek sanderson waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay better

Anonymous said...

This post contains entirely too many homoerotic messages. Is chieftain really going to the beach to celebrate or staying locked in his room, rubbing one, two, or three out while watching his "love."

Anonymous said...

I think Chieftan overtook "larping" as the queerest thing on Planet Earth.

Anonymous said...

anal sex

Simply Suds said...

The whole "Jeter for the past 12 years, I have loved you" part just leaves me shaking/scratching my head. Wow Chieftain, wow.

Norman P. Orlando said...

For what its worth:

Boston 48 27 .640 -
Toronto 38 37 .507 10.0
NY Yankees36 37 .493 11.0
Tampa Bay 33 41 .446 14.5
Baltimore 32 43 .427 16.0

Anonymous said...

And the "great" Donnie Baseball was just an OK player on an awful Yankees team. Look at the stats... mediocre!

Anonymous said...

Don't let them get to you, Chieftain. I feel the same way you do. The only difference is that I feel it towards women.

Cedrick said...

I was born the exact same damn day! Where is the post dedicated to me?

BigRicks said...

For what It's worth:

New York Yankees 26
Boston Red Sox 6
Baltimore Orioles 3
Toronto Blue Jays 2
Tampa Bay Devil Rays 0

I'll give you a guess.

Anonymous said...

Hey Ricks, complete fucking assholes on the team?

Windier E. Megatons said...

That's a good point there - Derek Jeter's 26 World Series titles in 12 years is really a feat that's never going to be topped.

I love when Yankee fans point to the 26 titles as though most of them were around for more than four or six. 20 of those 26 titles were won before 1963. Six titles in 44 years isn't unimpressive, and it's still the most, but it's not exactly the blowout you want it to be (Cardinals 4, A's 4, Dodgers 4, Orioles 3, Reds 3, Marlins 2, Blue Jays 2, Twins 2, Tigers 2...) Find a new dead horse to beat.

Bryan said...

Please look at the Giambi photo. Posada's glove isn't touching his leg yet. It doesn't touch him until Giambi is touching the plate. He was, in fact, safe. True story.

Simply Suds said...

i like the new editions to the blog. Welcome gents.

Anonymous said...

Holy crap. I'd hate to see what kind of tribute you'd offer up if he happened to be more than merely an above-average player.

Anonymous said...

Worst. Post. Ever.

Anonymous said...

Not sure if I agree with you completely, but check check him out in this new commercial...

BigRicks said...

26 fucking assholes on a team with a 25 man roster is quite the achievement. Allow me to rectify my previous post with post-1963 goodness:

New York Yankees 6
Toronto Blue Jays 2
Baltimore Orioles 2
Boston Red Sox 1

Or, since the post is about Jeter, post 1995:

Yanks 4
Sox 1
Jays 0
O's 0

Sorry for giving the other AL East teams the benefit of the doubt and listing all of their titles since 1903, next time I'll go straight for the dagger.

RhodyTrojan said...

Jeter will also sell his soul for anything.. who hasn't seen that crappy machine he want 8 year old kids to use to improve their swing.. what Jeter, the bazillion you have made thus far not enough for you.. you have to sell something that will be at Big Lots in a couple of months..

Anonymous said...

Derek Jeter eats poo.

cowboy dan said...

Derek Jeter's salary: $22,000,000
Derek Jeter's current OBP: .906

Carlos Guillen's salary: $5,000,000
Carlos Guillen's current OBP: .969

Yep, Jeter is totally deserving of all the hype and all star appearances and money.

Jeter's playoff performance since 2004: 314/378/488 4 HRs
ARod's: 240/341/430 3 HRs
(small sample size alert!)

Granted, Jeter's are a little better, but not significantly. ARod is one bloop single and a misplayed ball that turns a single into a double away from being Jeter's playoff equal. Considering that Jeter is the definition of "clutch" or whatever for New Yorkers and ARod is hated for his lack of "clutchiness," well, whatever. It's silly. Oh yeah, and each of their career playoff numbers:

Jeter: 314/384/479
ARod: 280/362/485

Please just quit calling people "clutch."

RhodyTrojan said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
RhodyTrojan said...

@Cowboy Dan..

Excellent work.. but remember he did hook up with all of those chicks which obviously makes him the best player of all time, not too sure how that affects ones OBP (on the field) but it must

cowboy dan said...

Sorry, at the top, that little bit with Guillen's and Jeter's OBPs should actually read OPS. My mistake.

Also, while I'm at it, Derek Jeter doesn't even crack the top 10 for career postseason leaders in terms of batting average, on base %, and slugging %. He does rank number 2 in the list of most career postseason games played and number 1 in postseason at bats, which might have something to do with him being the all time postseason hits and runs leader. For instance, Jeter has struck out more times in the playoffs than anyone else in baseball history. Because of that, he must be a choker.

Just for fun, here are some active players with better postseason OPS numbers than Jeter's (863):

Carlos Beltran (1.302)
Troy Glaus (1.246)
Carlos Delgado (1.199)
Albert Pujols (1.022)
Nomar Garciaparra (.978)
Barry Bonds (.936)
David Ortiz (.935)

Once again, Derek Jeter comes in at .863.

Dontrelle Willis even has a career OPS of 2.667, and he's a pitcher, so he must be better than Babe Ruth, right?

Even working within your parameters for calling someone clutch (which I think are worthless) Derek Jeter still isn't the clutchiest ever. I haven't even touched all the retired players that were better in the playoffs than Jeter.

I have nothing against Jeter or the Yankees, for the record, I just hate the hyperbole surrounding Derek Jeter. Even more, I hate the hyperbole that surrounds everyone's playoff performance.

Finally, Jeter's career averages:
and his postseason averages:

That isn't clutch, that's Derek Jeter simply being the same good player that he is in both the regular season and the playoffs.

Simply Suds said...

cowboy dan is on point.

Josh said...

"Derek Jeter is baseball. Derek Jeter is New York City."

Someone tell baseball that it's 2 games under .500.

And let me say this about Don Mattingly: I, too, could have 100 RBI a year batting behind Rickey Henderson and in front of Dave Winfield.

Anonymous said...

So his career BA is .318 but his playoff BA is .314. So what those number are saying is that he is worse in the playoffs then he is during the regular season. How is that clutch?

Anonymous said...

I like this guy's take on Jeter waaaaay better: http://metsquire.blogspot.com/