Wahhhhhhhh...I Wanna Be Paid Like a Top 10 Pick....Wahhhhhhhhhh

Hey Brady....does someone want their binky? What's the matter, A.J. Hawk's sister isn't giving you all the TLC you need in the bedroom? I'm sure to take a lot of heat for this post, since I know there are tons of you that suck Notre Dame's d*ck for no apparent reason. Ughhhhhh, we get it, some of you are Irish and Catholic and think you're somehow a part of the Notre Dame tradition. Our Lady of Victory doesn't give a damn about any of you losers....which is why I plan on ripping into Brady Quinn for a few minutes, while your Holy Water tears stream down your face.

Who does this little pretty boy think he is? The 22nd player overall in the draft wants to be paid a contract that has the potential to pay him top 5-10 money????? The Browns want Quinn to sign a contract that is performance driven, while Baby Brady's camp is forcing a deal at the Browns that would hit significant incentives, should Quinn just play. Sure, smart negotiating by the agents, but this isn't helping anyone here. This kid needs to get to camp and get some reps with the veterans, before they turn their backs on him. Quinn's posse wants a deal based on snaps and reps that would make his contract the 9th most valuable in the draft if THE MINIMUM level of incentives are reached. A deal that at max value could reach $30 million, and at a minimum value, would reach $20 million.....guaranteed. FYI....Joe Thomas (that guy that the Browns drafted with the 3rd overall pick this year, only has $22-23 million in guarantees based on the deal he signed).

So what gives you the right, Brady? You were drafted at #22 for a reason. Nobody needed you. It's supply versus demand.....so sign your friggin' deal and be happy the Browns made enough moves to keep you as a first round pick in the first place. As my good friend, The Assistant Coach, said in the movie Dazed and Confused..."What? Quarterbacks don't have to do what the coaches tell them to do?" Grow up Quinn, take the binky out of your mouth, and prove to all your loyal ND fans that you are the next coming of Christ....just as they've panned you out to be.
Oh, Rick Mirer says "hi", guys.


***Photo courtesy of http://drunkathlete.com/

Douchebag of the Day - Spencer Pratt

Spencer Pratt from The Hills, is a complete douchebag. Just the smirk this little smug prick puts on his face makes me want to strangle him through the television. Who the hell does this kid think he is? He's famous by association. His father is a famous L.A. dentist (aka, makes a disgusting amount of cake for young little Spencey to spend) and this kid has no real talent. So you represent Heidi from The Hills (a one hit, reality TV character....nobody gives a $hit about her anymore) and Brody Jenner from The Hills and The Princes of Malibu....another little turd from your crew that's had everything handed to them their entire life. Good for you, pal. I hope your fame is short lived, and I hope you continue to get blackballed by every decent club in L.A.....just as the tabloids have been reporting. You'd last about 2 minutes in the real world before some goon would punch your lights out. Keep pretending to be a pimp, princess.

A Good Ol' Fashioned Rub - NSFW

There's not much I can add to this video. This girl gives herself a nice ol' fashioned rub down for a good 40 seconds before the clip ends. You can bet that she went downstairs with her massage shortly after the cameras ended...which is 100% the way, uh huh uh huh, I absolutely like it.

Work that breast, girl.

Stacy Keibler in Leather Bikini = Blog Worthy

As The Grumpiest was so kind to point out, Stacy friggin' Keibler is rockin' a leather bikini in some recent photo shoot (the bottom four photos were included for good viewing measure). Breathtaking dumper!

If I could choose one celebrity to leak a sex tape these days, I'd be hard pressed to come up with a better option than Stacy Keibler. Is she my favorite? Not even close. But...she can dance, can handle herself in an enclosed ring, and has legs that last for daaaaaaaays.

Serious question -- how has a woman's shaving cream company (i.e., Skintimate or Gillette Venus Breeze) not yet tabbed Keibler as their spokesperson. I mean, Johnny Damon promoted men's Gillette products for years, but Keibler isn't good enough for Venus Breeze?? Bull$h*t. The commercialization possibilities are endless.

http://thegrumpiest.com/?p=5379

How Much Could this Ball Net at an Auction?

As Barry Bloom of MLB.com writes, David Wells has an old, grainy, yellowing baseball that he purchased for $7,000 with a Babe Ruth signature scrawled across the sweet spot. Since the purchase, he had Hank Aaron sign the ball during a Padres trip to Atlanta, and on Sunday, he added the name of Barry Bonds in the left fielder's unmistakable script.

It's largely assumed that Wells now possesses the only ball that has the signatures of the top three all-time Major League home run hitters on it.

Another hypothetical question on this slow day...

Put yourself in David Wells' shoes - and let's assume that your objective is to land the largest possible pay-day from this ball...would you sell the ball now? Or, would you take a wait-and-see approach? By "wait-and-see" approach, I'm implying that A-Rod may eventually be a desirable fourth name (if he does, indeed, stay healthy and hit 800 HR's) to be scratched alongside the other three.

Also, would Willie Mays' name drop the value of the ball as it currently stands? Personally, I think Mays' signature would hurt the ball's value. Why? Because Ruth, Aaron, and Bonds (in a few days) have all held the honor of "Home Run Champ" at one point or another. While Mays is one of the 3 greatest players of all-time, his 660 career home runs never upheld the aforementioned distinction. Again, I'm simply viewing this question from an investment perspective.

http://mlb.mlb.com/news/article.jsp?ymd=20070805&content_id=2132576&vkey=news_sd&fext=.jsp&c_id=sd&partnered=rss_sd

Punky Power Turns 31 Today

Happy Birthday to Punky Brewster....uhh...I mean Soleil Moon Frye. Some fun facts about Soleil come courtesy of Wikipedia:

Around the same time she was starring in Punky Brewster, Frye's voice was also heard in one episode of "The Real Ghostbusters".

She co-starred alongside Sarah Chalke in "I've Been Waiting For You", loosely based on the novel Gallows Hill by Lois Duncan.

She played Robin, a stuck-up girl, in a 4th season episode of "Saved by the Bell". In 1990, she also played a romantic interest, Mimi Detweiler, to Fred Savage's character in an episode of "The Wonder Years".

Frye appeared in "Sabrina, the Teenage Witch" as Roxy for the final three years of the show's run (2000 - 2003). The show starred Melissa Joan Hart, who had auditioned for the part of Punky Brewster years before. Frye once auditioned for the series "Charmed", a dramedy about a trio of witch sisters.

She also guest-starred as Katie in the series "Friends" in the episode 'The One with the Girl who Hits Joey'.

In 2001, she debuted on the Disney Channel show "The Proud Family" as a voice talent. She is currently voicing the character of Jade in the "Bratz" animated series.

At age 15, Frye had breast reduction surgery due to breasts that were disproportionately large for her age and frame. The surgery was intended to reduce back pain and was documented in a cover story for 'People Magazine'.

So Punky Brewster had breast reduction surgery at the age of 15? Those things must have been absolutely enormous. I'm still not sold on whether I think this chick is hot or not. Some pictures you find have her looking insanely hot, while others have her looking like a chick that works at your local Friendly's. Which is the real Punky? Somewhere, Henry Warnimont just took another pill of Viagra, and sat back in his rocking chair with no pants on.

R.I.P. Tourette's Guy

There's absolutely no sports related news today, but this should carry you over for the time being.

According to his official website, Danny (aka, "Tourette's Guy") was involved in a bad car accident about a month ago. Due to related medical complications, Danny unexpectedly passed away last week.

Ye + Yao = Woah

Per NBC Sports this morning....

BEIJING (AP) -- Yao Ming married his long-term girlfriend Monday at a swanky hotel in his hometown of Shanghai.

Yao, the Houston Rockets' star center, tied the knot with Ye Li, a 6-foot-2 player on the Chinese women's basketball team in a ceremony at the Shangri-La Hotel, sina.com reported.

Ok, so the 7 foot 6 inch tall Yao....married a 6 foot 2 inch tall WOMEN's basketball player? Holy $hit.....how tall are these friggin' kids going to be? That should just be illegal. This family could breed the next generation of NBA All-Stars. I'm sure by age 5, their kid will tower over me and absolutely burger me if I tried to do a lay up. Here's to an entire family of Gheorghe Muresan's running around the world. My Giant: The Next Generation.

I'm In Love With the Bah-tend-ahh

First and foremost, I can honestly say that Nashville, TN is one of the greatest places on earth. The Commodore is going to have the time of his life while he spends his 2 years at Vanderbilt, and I hope to make many more trips down....even if we've all probably been banned from his apartment from the 4 day bender we went on. Nonetheless, what an amazing city. Coming from an atmosphere up north (everyone's pretty much an a$$hole), to a city where people look you in the eye, and are incredibly friendly....was a culture shock for all of us.

Now that I've made my point. We all fell in love with two bartenders. Lindsey and Joana, from Graham Central Station, were two of the hottest southern bells I've ever laid eyes on. Between the 5 of us, we were split right down the middle on who was hotter....but these girls were as friendly and smokin' hot as they come. In between the $.75 cent Bud Light bottles this bar serves (yes, I said Bud Light bottles for under a buck....we had about 200 in 2 days), these two absolute smoke-shows do a dance on the bar every twenty minutes. The routine involves some serious Rhump Shakin' and other provocative moves that had me completely blown away. And since this is my post, I'm throwing my vote in Lindsey's corner. How is this girl not an absolute star? Well, I'm making a hard push to make her a star. She's the most beautiful girl I've ever seen in my life. She's flawless. Oh, did I mention that you could funnel beers at this bar too....against other people? You know I was undefeated. But my southern bell gets all the credit for holding my funnel just the right way, and leading her Yankee gentleman to victory.

Keep up the good work, Lindsey and Joana. The Win Column gives credit where credit is due, and you girls took care of The Win Column boys this weekend. Next time we're in town, we'll be sure to pay you another visit. And my dearest Lindsey, I love you.


*** In the top photo Lindsey is pictured on the left, while Joana holds it down on the right.

*** Photos courtesy of the Graham Central Station website

Another Sick Massachusetts Athlete Besides Myself

Tom Glavine did it yesterday, winning his 300th game. Tom is a proud Massachusetts native that grew up in Billerica. His professional career includes 2 Cy Young Awards, 300+ wins, five 20 win seasons, a World Series win & MVP, batting .289 one season, and a hot wife!

Tom, much like a great deal of kids from Massachusetts, grew up playing hockey. He was drafted by the L.A. Kings of the NHL in the 4th round of the 1984 NHL draft but decided to play ball.

Tom has been a legit human being throughout his career. He has a great golf game as well. Let me share a story with you .... I was visiting a friend of mine in the Atlanta suburbs a few years back. I bumped into Tom in the clubhouse, The Country Club of The South. I am NOT an annoying fan like most. My buddy (who is originally from Rosindale) and I introduced ourselves. Next thing you know, Tom gets a phone call and two of the guys couldn't show up. I ended up golfing with him & John Smoltz. Tom & Smoltz got SWASHBUCKLED on the course with my buddy & I. The beer cart seemed to just gravitate towards their cart all the time.

Massachusetts peeps are HILARIOUS humans and some of the world's finest. Being a sick high school athlete like I was...Tom and I had an unreal bond. I feel a part of his 300th win!

Congrats to Tom for continuing a Hall of Fame career and being a fantastic cat from Massachusetts!

More Nina Moric...

Memo to Hollywood: CAST NINA MORIC IN SOMETHING...ASAP! Entourage, take notice!

Who is Nina Moric???

Holy $hit! How have I not heard of Nina Moric before now? The debate is over...she is the hottest female on the planet.

While Nina, 31, was born in Croatia, she has long modeled in Italy. Before blowing up via THE WIN COLUMN, her previous claim to fame came by way of being featured in Ricky Martin's "Livin' La Vida Loca" video.

...It goes without saying that this 2 minute video of Nina Moric may just be the best YouTube video out right now.

Local MLB Musings

By now, you've all at least heard about Baseball America's recent "Best Tools" compilation. The results were based strictly upon a survey amongst all MLB managers.

• 2nd "Best hitter" in AL: Derek Jeter
• "Best power" in AL: Alex Rodriguez
• 2nd "Best strike-zone judgment" in AL: Bobby Abreu
• 2nd "Best hit-and-run artist" in AL: Derek Jeter
• 3rd "Best baserunner" in AL: Derek Jeter
• 3rd "Best pitcher" in AL: Josh Beckett
• "Best curveball" in AL: Josh Beckett
• 3rd "Best changeup" in AL: Daisuke Matsuzaka
• "Best pickoff move" in AL: Andy Pettitte
• "Best reliever" in AL: Jonathan Papelbon
• 3rd "Best reliever" in AL: Mariano Rivera
• 3rd "Best defensive catcher" in AL: Jason Varitek
• 3rd "Best defensive third baseman" in AL: Mike Lowell
• "Best defensive shortstop" in AL: Derek Jeter

Other than the clear notion that Derek Jeter is a demi-god in every aspect of life, what else to I take away from this?

...That there is a reason why Baseball America is my favorite website on the net. For any "true" baseball fan, Baseball America should be daily reading, as it covers baseball at every level (high school, college, Japan, the minors, and the majors). Money well spent.

To see where other respective AL and NL players ranked accordingly, see the below links...

http://www.baseballamerica.com/today/majors/features/264575.html

http://www.baseballamerica.com/today/majors/features/264582.html

Some Margarita Wrestling on this Scorching Saturday

Is it socially acceptable to say that the black chick in the green bikini needs to be tested for steroids ASAP??? I mean, she absolutely manhandles anything that comes within her reach!

Anyways, I saw this on WITHLEATHER.COM -- and was forced to post it. For The Win Column's one-year anniversary, Margarita Wrestling is sure to be the main attraction. Bet on it!

If you wish to see some still photos of Margarita Wrestling, visit the below website:

http://www.margaritawrestling.com/picgallery.php

I should also point out an outstanding comment left by "Berka" under the With Leather post...

"I'm amazed nobody has mentioned that the proceeds from margarita wrestling support breast cancer research. Take that, feminists!"

...I couldn't have said it any better.

Update #3 from Simply Suds -- "Puke on One's Chest does not Attract the Southern Bells"

Suds sent this along yesterday afternoon, but I wasn't near a computer...so, it's just now being posted...

It's Friday, and I'm on double digit beers down here in central standard time. Last night was a complete $hitshow. Our objective was to get some southern bells to cook us grits for breakfast after they woke up on our romantic Aero beds, but what really ended up happening was us finding gold. We ended up at a country bar that was having a promotion.....free Bud Lights. I repeat, free Bud Lights!! So as a group, we probably sucked down 60 of them, along with shots of Tequila and Southern Comfort. On we went to Tootsies (thanks to the reader that suggested this), and we're probably not allowed back. Some muscle head jerk-off from Chicago asked me if I wanted to fight for fun. Seeing as though I have my left hand bandaged up from stitches, I decided against throwing a sucker punch or bottle at the beast. He seemed ok with the answer, until he put his cigarette out on my cell phone because I didn't accept his invitation to "dance". Just as we made our way to the dance floor to boot, scoot, and boogey with some cuntay....we had 2 soldiers go down. One buddy completely threw up all over his chest in the middle of the bar, and another ran to the $hitter and hugged the toilet for a good 20 minutes. Needless to say, we didn't achieve any of our goals.....but we did black out again. Maybe tonight I'll hit for the cycle. We'll see. Have a good weekend!

Since it's Slow

There hasn't been much activity lately, and this is pretty funny. I'm sure some of our readers are Pearl Jam fans. Now you know what Eddie has been saying during this song.

USA Today Releases Its Preseason Coaches' Poll

1. USC
2. LSU
3. Florida
4. Texas
5. Michigan
6. West Virginia
7. Wisconsin
8. Oklahoma
9. Virginia Tech
10. Ohio State
11. Louisville
12. California
13. Georgia
14. Auburn
15. Tennessee
16. Rutgers
17. UCLA
18. Penn State
19. Nebraska
20. Arkansas
21. Florida State
22. TCU
23. Boise State
24. Hawaii
25. Texas A&M

* I have long nabbed West Virginia's STEVE SLATON as this year's Heisman. Speed kills! Teamed with the mobile Patrick White for another season, Rich Rodriguez's spread option offense is going to be dynamic.

** Breakout Sleeper: California QB NATE LONGSHORE. Not familiar with the name? You will be. When it comes to developing QB's, Cal coach Jeff Tedford is a genius. You heard it here...the Golden Bears are going to be nasty this year!

*** Want another sleeper that sure's to be a stud by season's end? Look no further than Clemson RB CJ SPILLER. For my money, this true sophomore is the most explosive player in the country.

**** Most underrated team in the country? In a word...Nebraska.

***** Most overrated team in the country? Michigan. Why? Because you shouldn't be ranked in the top 5 when you've lost 8 starters on defense. Want more? Lloyd Carr is the worst coach in the Big-10. Yes, the WORST in the entire conference. Mike Hart should have left after his junior year. Just watch his draft stock plummet as the season progresses. I promise. All Michigan has is Chad Henne. Nothing else!

http://www.usatoday.com/sports/college/football/usatpoll.htm

Friday Morning Pump-Up Session

NO RETREAT, NO SURRENDER. Clearly no KARATE KID, but still an 80's classic nevertheless.

"Tonight, he either fights for his life or he'll be running for the rest of it."

Can anyone explain what's going on around the 50 second mark of this clip? Why the hell is Jason Stillwell giving his buddy pelvic thrusts, all while his buddy goes down on his ice cream bar?? Very awkward scene.

For the record, I believe the background track is Kevin Chalfant's "Hold on to the Vision in your Eyes".


(The idea behind this post came from AOL'S FANHOUSE blog)

Scarlett Johansson does Louis Vuitton

Glamorous! As Johansson became the face and spokesperson for Louis Vuitton in early 2005, this is the third ad campaign in which she has been featured (the others being Spring 2005 and Spring 2007).

It's been a very long day (at least I feel that way), so sit back and sink your teeth in this dime.

Soccer is Stupid

Australian RHAIN DAVIS, all of 9 years old, has signed a contract with Manchester United.

Are you kidding me??? This is absurd, and a mockery of the sport. In all seriousness...in half these frames, Rhain looks like he playing against "Lazy Legs" from the earlier break-dancing post.

Why hasn't Beckham negotiated a deal with the LA Galaxy for his son, Brooklyn, yet? After all, he is 8 years old...and Lord knows that David Beckham is just collecting checks these days.

Somewhere, Danny Almonte says "hello".


(Video seen on DEADSPIN.COM)

Update #2 from Simply Suds -- "Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy"

As promised yesterday, I arrived in Nashville about 14 beers deep and I had a thirst that couldn't be quenched. After somehow running up a $120 tab amongst 4 of us in an hour....we decided it was time to get deep into the mix at a honky bar. Two things I've learned about Nashville thus far...

1. They sure like their country music, to the tune of live music at every establishment.

2. Cougars are everywhere....and their accent is off the hooooookkkk.

Needless to say, we all blacked out pretty hard and don't remember how we got from the bar to our hotel. They apparently don't believe in shot glasses down here....shots consist of half a plastic cup of booze. We have a buddy flying in today, and then we move The Commodore into his new pad. I've been dreaming about this apartment pool for 3 weeks, and I promise not to disappoint The Win Column readers.

Since when did "Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy" become a cool song?????? Someone should let these people know they look like a$$holes singing this song at the top of their lungs.

Gym Class Heroes or True Athletes?

If I'm not mistaking, I'm almost positive that I recognize the guy in the red pants from flipping through the channels a couple weeks back...on "America's Got Talent". And, yes, you guessed it...the guy on "America's Got Talent" refers to himself as LAZY LEGS. Why wouldn't he, right??

Lastly, are you guys thinking the same thing I am...I waiting for the day that these guys throw down.


(Shout out to reader 'Carolina Red Sox' for sending this clip along)

Who's Uglier?

Here at The Win Column, we have strayed upon a new game called "Who's Uglier". To kick this game off, I ask you ..... Who is ugliest?

A. Nelson De La Rosa (Pedro's deceased weird friend for those of you not "with the times")

B. Dwayne Johnson's "The Rock" daughter, Simone

C. Smeagol, from "Lord of the Rings"

I would have to say that The Rock's daughter has this one in the bag! I mean, he must have slept with a half retarded killer wombat to produce something this beautiful! Good job, Rock...and thanks for giving all the kiddies out there another reason to stay away from steroids!

Step 1...No Man = No Bra

Like I said last week...this is about to get good. As she is now a "free woman", Jessica Alba is on the verge of dominating the headlines for the foreseeable future!

Jessica, we await your next 'power' move. The Win Column is at your mercy...

(Photos grabbed from http://idontlikeyouinthatway.com/)

Fantasy Football Hook

In 3+ weeks, nearly every fantasy football draft will be held -- if you're a fan of fantasy football, be sure to click and watch the below YouTube link (the video was originally posted to our site, but I messed it up while editing the post):

http://youtube.com/watch?v=-1ZCPv94ATo

Personally, I'm still 100% entrenched in baseball mode, especially considering the Yankees are now a mere 2 games out of the playoff mix. Seriously, was there ever any doubt??? What's that you say...PHIL HUGHES IS BACK THIS SATURDAY?!?!?! I can't hear you...Joba Chamberlain, Jeff Karstens, and Ian Kennedy are all ready to contribute?!?!?! When do playoff tickets go on sale?

Anyways, back to the subject at hand...there are several backs that aren't getting the love that they deserve in current drafts. Trust me, take my advice and reap the benefits come January.

JOSEPH ADDAI, TRAVIS HENRY, REGGIE BUSH, CEDRIC BENSON, and BRANDON JACOBS are all in for mooooooooonster seasons!! Promise me that you'll grab at least one of the aforementioned backs in your upcoming draft...