Instead of Sitting Under a Mango Tree....
Mets ace Pedro Martinez threw a 31 pitch bullpen session and reported no problems on Tuesday. These were the first pitches he has thrown since undergoing shoulder surgery eight months ago, and Pedro was reportedly "ecstatic" about the way he felt. He was originally scheduled to throw a 25 pitch session, but after getting a small amount of "Soul Glow" in his eyes from his jerry curls, and a sip from a wild mango, Pedro threw an additional 6 pitches. All this while he imagined how much smut he'd watch on his 199 inch TV later on that night. When Pedro comes back, he's determined to be the "Pedro of old." Let me be the first to say that will never happen again. I still think he can be a dominating force, especially in the NL....but the Pedro that used to dial 97, 98 on the gun...and be unhittable....he left his rotator cuff on the mound at Fenway Park. Thanks for your efforts Pedro, you mutt. I'll root for you when you pitch in late July/early August...just don't have that diva attitude. Keep your yapper shut and help the Mets win.
5 comments:
ill never root for a guy who still rocks a jerry curl. i bet pedro punches 8 year old smelly dominicans in the face when they ask him for his autograph. he is probably a rapist in his home country, but because hes a great pitcher he gets away with it. in fact, from what i hear, pedro is the only man alive who is not subject to the law against raping men or women. its not only ok, but its encouraged. if you are raped by pedro, then you instantly become famous and fame is one's way out of that dump of a place called the dominican. pedro martinez...the pitcher, the jerry curl specialist, the rapist...living the dominican dream one rape at a time
whoa....relax buddy. pedro is the man
pedro is a jerkoff
what is with the voracity here.. man is Petey a jerk most of the time.. yep.. but to say that is a bit over the line. I saw him pitch in person at Fenway and he through like a 3 hit complete game against the White Sox.. best seat I would ever even hope to get.. possibly the best sporting event I had ever been to.. outside of SC beating BC the day they opened Alumni...
Man try some Zanex.. what did Petey do to you.. it would help also if we knew who the hell you are..
and for the record, i would love some zanex. ill crush them up and blow them til i puke. hows that sound?
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