Friday, June 8, 2007

Boston Sports Hero of the Week - Mike Greenwell

"If You Ain't a Gator, You're Gator Bait." Mike Greenwell was the reason I loved baseball in the late 80's and early 90's. I used to immatate his toe tap stance in street ball. I had this pervert's "Gator Country" posters all over my walls. Mike Greenwell was a lifetime Boston Red Sox player. My favorite part about Greenwell is the fact that he's still lobbying to become the 1988 AL MVP due to the fact that he was runner up to Jose Canseco (who obviously has admitted to using steroids and doesn't deserve $hit).

"Every time you renegotiate a contract, if you're an MVP, you have a different level of bargaining power. But in honesty, I don't care about the money. I respect what Jose did in the game. I don't respect that [he used steroids], but I do understand how these guys get caught up in it. There is so much pressure to perform that guys are willing to do anything to stay on top,"

In 1996, Mike Greenwell made Major League history. The Gator drove in all 9 runs in a 9-8 victory over the Seattle Mariners. That is the Major League record for a player that drove in all of his team's runs in a single game. And f*ck the croc hunter....the Gator was wrestling beasts back before the croc hunter ever even thought about getting a blow job from an alligator. The man was a back bone in a lineup of mediocre Red Sox lineups, but he was able to compose a lifetime average of .303 over his 12 year major league career....a number that is not easily attained over such a long stretch of time. He also played the hell out of the Green Monster. There was no fear in the eyes of the Gator. He used to run into the wall much like I used to run through walls, tables, and whatever else was in my way in college. Not to get off course.....but f*ckin A, I miss college. I miss girls in sweat pants. I miss punching holes in walls and keg stands. I miss gettin' real weird and seeing that chick the next day in the cafeteria.

Long live the Gator. He was a big part of the fiesty Red Sox squads of the late 80's/early 90's. Do your best impersonation of the Greenwell toe tap in your cubicles, and get fired. 'Cuz all you jerkoffs have to work, and I'm off to the beach. Later b*tches.

1 comment:

SlowStuff said...

The GATOR is a beast!! This guy is my literal hero and probably my favorite all time player next to Dewey!!! I bet he grits his teeth more than you Simply!!!