Parasite's Going to the Clink

As first reported by TMZ.COM last week, Paris Hilton was sentenced to 45 days in jail. No if's, and's, or but's about it. No house arrest, no suspended sentence, instead she'll be heading to the clink in less than a month.

A Los Angeles County Superior Court judge has sentenced Paris Hilton to 45 days in L.A. County jail for violating her probation in a reckless driving case. Judge Michael T. Sauer handed down the harsh sentence, telling Paris she will not be allowed work release, furloughs, use of an alternative jail or electronic monitoring in lieu of jail. She must do the time! An emotional Paris, with tears welling up in her eyes, told the judge moments before the decision "I'm sorry, I'm sorry." Witnesses inside the courtroom say that Paris' parent, Rick and Kathy Hilton, were both visibly upset as the sentence was handed down. Kathy, we're told, was especially distraught. Paris will serve her sentence at the Century Regional Detention Facility (CRDF). She will begin her sentence on June 5."

Wow. I'm speechless. This whore is finally gonna get to live like a common folk. No amount of money can change the judge's decision....hahahahahaha. This is awesome. Unless she just stays in her cell, or smuggles in bundles of cash to pay people off.....Paris is going to get the crap kicked out of her by tons of butch's and gangsta b*tches. That's sick. They should keep a camera focused on her underwear-less body 24 hours a day for a reality TV show....like they did in that movie "Ed." I can't stand this stuck up skank. She is an absolute retard, and thinks she can do whatever she wants because she has boatloads of money. Guess what you douchebag....for 45 days, you're going to lose your freedom. No cell phones, money, booze, casual unprotected sex (with men), Ferraris, Porches, Range Rovers, tank tops, thongs, lip gloss, and whatever else your cu*ty self needs on a daily basis. Have fun in the clink while everyone else enjoys a summer without seeing your lazy eye all over the tabloids and TV. Thank you God. Thank you.

All that being said, I'd still totally do her. What? Maybe I wouldn't use a rubber. It would be like winning the lottery knocking her up. No?