The Greatest Day of My Year So Far

It's finally arrived. Approximately 10 hours until Opening Day for the softball season. I can already smell the fresh cut grass, people smoking grass, and the distinct smell of ice cold Bud Lights....that will be going on ice before noon today. You know your life sucks when Opening Day softball is the best thing to happen to you since you last had your pee-pee touched. But honestly, I could care less about anything else today except softball. Check that, softball and Bud Light. There's something about jogging my out of shape self out to left field, where I proceed to check out every single MILF and piece of tail that comes to watch the games. Tonight I expect a decent crowd, as 2 groups of friends will be playing each other. You can guarantee there will be snacky snatch running around, and I'll probably get distracted. I love playing softball after having 3 ice cold BL's. There's a calming effect it has on my body. I actually play better with a buzz. Is that weird? Maybe not. I'm better at a lot of things after I've been drinking. As for after the game, that's when things might get a little weird. Maybe I'll have 6 Bud Lights and go home.....or maybe I'll stay in the parking lot until 3 AM like I am at a concert at the Tweeter Center. Hell, maybe I'll sleep in my car with a hooker. It's Opening Day for Christ's sake. If you're not pumped up for this game, check your pulse.

I predict a victory.