Thursday, April 5, 2007

the swings of baseball

as i sat in my cubicle clicking refresh every 15 seconds, i found myself thinking about how i'm not the one to blame for me being down boatloads of money this week. i put the blame on the men and women, probably men, who made the schedules for the baseball season this year, and every year for that matter. do they really expect me to not bet on daytime baseball during the week? am i expected to sit back and click refresh just for the love of the game? response to that is absolutely not. there is nothing like being in a cubicle where no one can see you biting your nails 'til they bleed, swearing under your breath, and thinking terrible thoughts of punching the wall so hard the cubicles collapse and kill the fat bastard old man sitting next to me. these are the joys of my day. the best part of my day came when i left my cubicle to go to a meeting with the marlins up 6-1 in the 6th inning against the lowly and embarrassing nationals. anibal sanchez was pitching a gem, of course, so i figured i could at least split my bets (aj burnett is the anit-christ.....i took the bjays). well i happened to return just in time for the 9th to watch jorge julio, the big dumb f*cking dominican prick, blow a 2-run lead and lose in the 9th, officially putting me on suicide watch. so, my point is that i should not be held responsible for these bets. espn, peter gammons, and those motherf*ckers who created daytime weekday baseball should be paying my tab. i will be sending out a letter asking peter gammons to call my bookie and square up with him because i am not paying shit. did i mention - i hope aj burnett gets hit by a f*cking truck, preferably driven by juan guzman and tony fernandez? i want to go on record and say that dominican relief pitchers are about as useless as "simply suds" dick after a fifth of bacardi. go to hell bookies across the country, for i will have my day in the sun soon enough............

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