I'd Rather Kick Myself in The Balls....

...than watch a professional hockey game. I'm going to give college hockey a pass, just because I don't really feel like having to do the elephant walk should I ever go pah-ty again at Boston College. The NHL is a complete debacle. Hockey, itself, is probably in the worst shape a sport has ever been in since I've roamed this miserable earth. I couldn't name more than 3 players on the Boston Bruins...nor do I give a rats ass. I actually turned down FREE Bruins tickets at least half a dozen times this year, because to be honest with you, I'd rather sit home and watch the Real World than go to the TD Banknorth Garden and watch a bunch of jerk-offs on skates completely fail to gain my attention. Remember when hockey was exciting? Neely, Bourque, Moog...hell, I'd even scream at the top of my chubby lungs when Rosie Ruzicka would score, do his fist pump, and smile with only one decayed tooth in his entire head. I honestly don't think I watched more than 10 minutes of total NHL hockey this season....and 9 of those were because I put a ton of money on the Bruins because I was bored (they lost 7-3 to Florida....in typical gay fashion).

Hey NHL....smaahhhhhhhten up. You want to eliminate fighting? Ya, that sounds like a great idea....the only good thing about hockey is watching two goons smashing each others faces just to get their primadonna goal scorers fired up.

Do us all a favor....go back to having just 6 teams....and I'll watch them pound the snot out of each other all year long....because frankly, at this moment, I'd rather watch Beaches than the Bruins....well, maybe that's just because Hockey is about as cool as August.