Friday, August 24, 2007

ESPN Has Jumped The Shark


As Rotoworld reports, Michael Vick formally filed a plea deal in federal court Friday, agreeing that his dog-fighting enterprise included gambling and the killing of dogs.

Vick conceded to funding Bad Newz Kennelz and that the proceeds went to his co-defendants, but claims he didn't reap monetary benefit. Furthermore, he admitted he knew gambling was taking place and that dogs "died as a result of the collective efforts of Purnell Peace, Quanis Phillips, and Vick himself."

...You want to call yourself the "Worldwide Leader"??? I mean, that's what you refer to yourself at every moment possible, right? How about getting quite possibly the biggest story in sports, since the OJ Simpson trial, correct? ESPN...you butchered this ordeal beyond belief. For the past month, you have continuously flip-flopped sides/opinions/facts relating to nearly every issue surrounding the Vick matter. Your sources suck! And, while I'm at it...do yourself a favor, and permanently remove Roger Cossack from your airwaves. As a legal correspondent, he brings absolutely nothing to the table. In every interview, he backtracks upon his previous statements. He's the Sean Salisbury of lawyers...only Cossack's act is real, and not schtick. I can't decide what's worse.

And, how about Jamie Foxx??? Don't get me wrong, I'm a fan of Jamie Foxx, but that doesn't change the fact that Foxx is a very stupid man. First Clinton Portis, then Stephon Marbury, then Roy Jones Jr., and now Jamie Foxx. In the end, they all backpedal like Cossack...and provide a rehearsed and meaningless apology.

"I used to see dog fighting in the neighborhood all the time. I didn't know that was Fed time. So, Mike probably just didn't read his handbook on what not to do as a black star."

Where to start?? Why do 99% of black stars (Jamie Foxx's words, not mine) feel the need to continue their "gully" acts once they become superstars. Once you're a star, why must "black stars" continue to live their lives as if they are always searching that almighty "street cred"?? You've already made it...who the hell cares what the Compton Crips think of you? The gang-bangers would give anything to switch positions with you, so why act like the roles should be reversed? Congratulations, Stanley Williams respects you. What's more marketable...the "street cred" that comes with Pacman Jones or the dignity that follows the likes of Tiger Woods and Dwyane Wade?


* Much credit should be given to long-time reader, Glen, for photoshopping the above picture

6 comments:

Norman's Deputy said...

You've made an incorrect use of the term "Jump the Shark." Jumping the shark is applied to situations where a show has gone beyond the limits of what is believable. "Seinfeld" was accused of jumping the shark when they killed off George's finace for licking stamps with really old ink. The term was started when during an episode of "Happy Days," the Fonz literally jumps a shark while waterskiing, completely exceeding the bounds of reality (even for a fictional sitcom). And no, I didn't Google this, Howard Stern told me on my morning drive to work a few years ago.

"Who's Kelly Clarkson!?!"

Norman P. Orlando said...

once again my deputy settles all arguments...

Anonymous said...

"Who's Hi-Pitch?"

Anonymous said...

Dear Norman's Deputy,
For the record, if you are going to correct someone, you best be correct in your correction - George's fiance did not die from licking stamps with really old ink (ink? do you think someone would lick ink?), she perished from licking the toxic glue on old envelopes...

george's fiance said...

It's true. I did. What can I say, I'm one stupid b*tch.

Chelsea Clinton Sparks said...

you knew what i meant, it was a slip of the toungue, so to speak. go to hell.