Wednesday, June 13, 2007

The Cincinnati Bengals Belong In a Zoo



You know you are a piece of $hit when you are accused of assaulting a 16-year old boy while riding around with your friend (teammate Reggie McNeal) in a car. Chris Henry has been arrested about 67 times in the last 3 football seasons. It's clear as day that this retard belongs behind bars in the worst way. He's pretty much a wild animal that does whatever the hell he wants, whenever he wants. Chris Henry has charges of marijuana possession, concealed weapon charge, DUI, providing alcohol to minors of the ages of 18, 15, and 16 in his car (aka Marcus Vick special), failed NFL drug tests.....and now you can add an assault and battery charge (should this allegation warrant an arrest).

Good for you, Chris Henry. You supposedly tossed beer bottles at the poor kid as he tried to walk down the street. You seriously need your a$$ kicked badly. You're a piece of $hit, that really serves no purpose in this world. The Republican in me would like to sentence you to the death penalty for being such a useless jerkoff to this world, but I know the liberal a$$holes that read this website will probably petition to save your sorry, worthless life.

So kids, what's the moral of the story? Do drugs, buy booze for kids in high school, get c*cked and drive, carry tons of guns, and throw beer bottles from your car at kids walking down the street. Sounds pretty ridiculous, huh? Should these charges stick, Chris Henry should never see a football field again. He can take his $300K salary (that should be much more if it weren't for him trying to be an original gangsta) and shove it up his a$$. The sad thing is that Chris Henry is a beast when he's on the field. He catches everything in sight and has a nose for the end zone. But the only end zone he should sniff this year is Pacman Jones' grundle.

Hey Chris, Simply Suds says you're a friggin' jerkoff that should be on the chain gang. Go to hell. You're a disgrace to the game of football....and you should be locked up in a cage.

7 comments:

Chieftain said...

Can someone please provide The Win Column a play-by-play rendition of Simply Suds' night this past Friday?? I keep hearing bits and pieces from anonymous sources, but am in dire need of a pick-me-up on this Wednesday afternoon...

RhodyTrojan said...

I have heard that the Raiders are in need of a dysfunctional Wide out.. seems to me that Henry is the perfect fit

Just Win Baby..

Anonymous said...

id love to stab this dark in his face. complete jerkoff.

Norman P. Orlando said...

So kids, what's the moral of the story? Do drugs, buy booze for kids in high school, get c*cked and drive, carry tons of guns, and throw beer bottles from your car at kids walking down the street.....ummmmmm I'm pretty sure thats what you did last friday night suds. I don't think people in glass houses should throw stones

Anonymous said...

rumor has it suds was completely naked wrestling a buddy. and when i say completely naked, i dont mean hold your hand over your cock as a joke....i mean dick and balls out with no regard for how small or cold it was. either he had what is referred to as an "inny" or he is actually a real-life chubbier ken doll. while i myself was not there, i have heard from many reliable sources that this was the case. more details to possibly follow. i need time to contact said sources. im sure sudsy will have no problem telling you himself he was nude for a good portion of the nite. then again, i doubt he remembers much.

Anonymous said...

Not only was Suds nude after failing miserably at wrestling a buddy that used to be a high school wrestling star...but when all else fails, try to see if they can grapple you naked apparently. this led to a forfeit of the match, because the buddy clearly didn't want anything to do with Suds' naked body. Suds then proceeded to chug many a more beers and color in the entire body of the Commodore with blue Sharpie marker.

Simply Suds said...

While I'm glad all of you jerkoffs have nothing better to do than talk about how tanked I got on Friday night. I suggest you all stop being a bunch of cunts and try blacking out once and a while.

That's C-U-N-T-S.

So what if I got nude? Maybe I'm not hung like an NBA power forward...but you're all probably in the same boat as me as well.