Wednesday, June 13, 2007

Reason #1,027 as to Why Chicks Suck

Did anyone see Justin Verlander's GIRLFRIEND (as in not "wife"...and not even "fiance"), Emily Yuen, scurry ONTO the field after the final pitch in last night's game?? Yes, I said "girlfriend".

This b*tch has some friggin' nerve!! By the expression on Verlander's face when you initially saw Yuen, she was the LAST person he wanted to see at the current moment. It was so awkward. Eventually, he came around to it -- basically because he realized Yuen had just ruined the rest of his night...and there was nothing he could do about it (without coming across as a d*ckhead on national television).

Let me make sure my point is clear...unless you are a part of the Tigers and/or your last name is "Verlander" (as in actual family), your dirty a$$ should never see the stadium grass in such a situation. Am I clear???

Again, Verlander's expression when he first saw Yuen was high, high comedy. Classic. Yuen's objective was so obvious -- she was staking her claim (aka, putting a quick end to what should have been an all-night bender). I've got news for you, sweetheart...this relationship will be O-V-E-R by season's end (at the very latest). Guaranteed.

Verlander is a stud 24-year-old major league pitcher. He was drafted #2 overall in the 2004 MLB Draft. He was the 2006 AL Rookie of the Year. He throws 102 MPH (in the 9th inning). His next contract will presumably make him FILTHY rich. There is NO WAY you are in his future. Instead, the entire community of Detroit clam is his present AND future. Unless you plan to adopt Andrei Kirilenko's wife's philosophy, then I advise you to hit the road running. I speak on behalf for all men around the country...we hate your pretentious a$$.

FYI for Yuen and all other such c-nt$ (yes, I'm angry) out there...stay where you belong (in the seats)! Let the man enjoy his moment in the sun -- with guess whom...his boys, aka the REAL people that he wants to celebrate and get loaded with!!!!


Anonymous said...

just like a chick....brings nothing to the table but tries to reap the benefits of being with a dude.

Simply Suds said...

I've pulled hotter chicks as a chubby college student. Like I said in my original Verlander post...if I threw 100 MPH I would have a serious wifey or 5.

Anonymous said...

Either this was a horrible PR stunt pulled by the Tigers organization or his teammates were f-ing with him. How else can you explain that she beat everyone else out off the bench to see him?

Anonymous said...

It appears to me that Justin Verlander is trying to keep from becoming a jerk like the three of you. It seems that fame hasn't had a negative impact on him and he is still just a normal guy in a normal relationship.