Happy 18th Birthday, Hayden Panettiere

Because it's technically 2:30 AM on Tuesday in Seoul, South Korea, and 4:30 AM in Sydney, Australia....I'd like to be the first to wish Hayden Panettiere a very happy and legal 18th birthday. This actress and aspiring musician is sure to be Hollywood's next party girl. She just takes photos that look like she's dying to get after it with a weekend of hard booze and narcotics galore. I have a feeling she'll be ending up in a rehab facility next to Britney Spears, as they both run into rubber walls with football helmets. I love the fact that in a lot of her pictures she is licking things. Why? Why the hell not? I'm cool with the fact that she needs to have something in constant contact of her moist tongue in order to keep her self esteem high. The one thing I do not like is the fact that she dates that pickle that used to be on Laguna Beach, Stephen. What a complete stiff. He probably leaves her rose peddles everyday for when she gets home, when he should be really treating her the way that most of us would treat a call girl in Las Vegas (if you're in to that sort of thing).

But until this time, let's embrace the fact that she's pretty hot, and now I can say so because she is 18 years old. Oh, to be 18 again.

I get creeped out knowing that chicks that are turning 18 were born in 1989.....yikes. Pretty soon, it's going to be girls that were born in the 1990's that I'll be drooling over, and I'll feel even worse about myself than I already do.