Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Are You a Mute, or What...Guyyyyyy??????

While watching the Home Run Derby, I suddenly found myself asking a few questions.....

1) Why couldn't we substitute Erin Andrews for Bonnie Bernstein?

2) Has anyone ever heard Vlad Guerrero speak?

It seems as if the camera and hosts avoid talking to him at all costs. Although I do not catch too many Angels games unless they are playing someone on my fantasy team (yes, I have no life and have the baseball package)....I still don't think I have ever heard this mongoloid speak a word to the camera. This guy has been one of baseball's brightest stars since 1998....a legitimate MVP threat...year in/year out. He is featured in many of the FOX commercials for the pre-game show along with Jeter, Ortiz, Arod, etc. What's his deal? Finally, my prayers were answered via ESPN Deportes.....where Guerrero gave the worst interview known to man. We had the questions first asked in English to the camera, spoken to Guerrero in Spanish....the answer relayed to the host in Spanish...which was then translated back to us common folk in English. What the f*ck?!?!? Vlad...you've been playing in the majors since 1996.....although you were on Montreal.....almost all of your away games were in los Estados Unidos....which in English means....UNITED STATES!!!!!!!! Have you seriously not learned a lick of your job's native tongue in the 12 seasons that you've been playing baseball here in the states?

Does this bother anyone else....or am I being irrational here? I understand that he is from a foreign country, and I respect all nationalities/races/languages, etc.....but I cannot see myself taking a job in the Dominican Republic twelve years ago, and after twelve years...still not having an understanding of how to speak fluent Spanish....that just seems ridiculous to me.

Someone get this guy to the local Los Angeles High School....where he will fit in with the diverse population. Take him down to English 101, and have him learn cat, dog, ball, and all the basics. If Vlad is going to be one of the best baseball players of the last decade....I would at least like to hear what he has to say once and a while....in English.

Oh, and who the hell was that hammer-hawk that was dancing around all night in the spray painted "Jordan" shirt? All he did was wave the Dominican flag all night and prance around the infield like a fairy. That guy was annoying as hell. I was hoping he'd take a high and tight fastball to the neck....but again, my prayers were not answered.

After some careful investigating....it has been brought to my attention that the hammer-hawk in the spray painted shirt is Jose Lopez....not the ball player...but rather Guerrero's barber. What a f*cking tool.


Chieftain said...

All-around great post.

Anonymous said...

He probably can speak English fluently, but chooses not to, because its easier for him. No interviews, no columnists twisting his words around, etc, etc. He just has to play ball. I'm not saying its right, just saying thats how it is.

Simply Suds said...

That's my evaluation of the situation too. But I think that fans and children would like to hear their favorite star speak once and a while. If you make $70 million bucks over 5 years with an option for 2009....I would hope you'd open your f*cking mouth once and a while.

Pujols isn't really that talkative either...but he does it. It's part of making all the money and being a super star. I think it's complete bullsh*t. Just like Manny Ramirez does...he doesn't get a free pass...but anyone that's ever been to Fenway knows that he interacts with the fans in left field the entire game....sometimes not even paying attention to the current play ....just to wave his glove at someone on the left field line screaming his name louder than the sound barrier.

Simply Suds said...

Norman P. Orlando can attest to the fact that I screamed Manny's name so loud for 4 innings in box seats on the left field line that he personally had to look over and wave his glove half a dozen times.