Jessica Alba is Willie Beamin'

After seeing this picture on idontlikeyouinthatway.com, I think it's safe to say that we can put the Jessica Alba herpes rumor to rest. She's as clean as a whistle, and she probably smells like roses, mangos, and any other fresh sent you could possibly think of. Of course, if you need me to verify this information, I have absolutely no problem taking one for the team. I'll contract the gout, SARS, and whatever else she could possibly throw my way. Those nipples could cut glass....and probably cut some rich douchebag's chest later that night.

As long as it wasn't Jeter.....