Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Cat Like Speed and Reflexes

That guy that shot the enormous boar has nothing on the manliest of men we're dedicating this post to.

Over the weekend, in the Holy city of Jerusalem, Arthur Du Mosch, 49, was awakened to find a live wild leopard staring him dead in the face. Then, it was on like Donkey Kong. He wrestled the wild leopard to the ground in what must have been a 20 minute epic battle, and pinned the beast to the floor until park rangers could arrive. Du Mosch, who must be a man of very few words, said pretty much the opposite of what I'd say, should a friggin wild leopard ever jump through my bedroom window and try to bite my face off:

"This kind of thing doesn't happen every day," said 49-year-old Arthur Du Mosch, a nature guide. "I don't know why I did it. I wasn't thinking, I just acted. And the kids were really excited."

Hey Art, have you lost your goddamn mind? You just wrestled one of the most ferocious creatures of the jungle to the ground for 20 minutes, didn't get hurt, and you actually won this cage match? Pull your pud buddy, let the world see your enormous balls. I'd be doing back flips while Katie Couric stuck her microphone right in my nether regions. Normally, most of us have wrestled our fair share of barnyard animals in the bedroom (depending on what they look like, the animal changes for story purposes) but to wrestle a big cat? Damn. There's not much else I can say about this, except that now I realize why it's so hard to mount a cougar. If a cougar is looking for a 20 minute epic battle, she should divide the minutes by 10 and lower her expectations. I want a cougar. Someone give me a machete, a compass, and drop me into the Amazon like Jesse Ventura in Platoon. I'd put my life on the line to get to see what all the hype is about.

Can someone please explain to me why that jerkoff in the photo above is the #1 image when you search "leopard" on Google? The world is a f*cked up place.

CNN.COM link:

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