You Drink, You Drive, You Lose.....

...unless your a bajillionaire like Jerry Buss, the 74 year old owner of the Lakers. He was arrested around 1 AM on Tuesday morning for suspicion of driving under the influence of alcohol. Suspicion? I mean, was he c*cked or what? The guy was driving down the wrong way on a double lined road in his Mercedes...I'm pretty sure the guy was hammer-hawked out of his skull. And why is this guy driving anywhere????? He has more money than God, so why doesn't he just piss himself in the back of his limo, rather than risk getting behind the wheel. Can you imagine how piss drunk you'd get if you could take a limo everywhere? Not only could you pregame drink at your house, but you could get smashed in your limo on the way to the bar, and once you park at the bar, and on the ride home. Wow, that sounds unbelievable.

But that's neither here nor there, because you're all losers, and you'll never be as wealthy as this guy....you all lose. Let's talk about who was riding shotgun in this Mercedes. Yes, I'm talking about the "unidentified" 23-year-old lovely woman that wasn't arrested in the incident. Hmmmm....was Mr. Buss paying for sex this evening? Was he taking home a girl from the Playboy Mansion? I wanna know more about the who-ahhhh that didn't get more than one sentence of a mention in the articles on the Internet. I mean, did she look like a hooker? Was she just some dime piece of a$$ that wanted to use Mr. Buss for tuition money for UCLA or USC? Tell me more God damn it. I'd be willing to bet she probably looked like a catcher's mitt and had a sausage tucked between her legs....but hey, that's how Simply Suds thinks.