Say It Ain't So....Maria !!!!

I happen to think that Adam Levine from Maroon 5 is a friggin' loser. I think his band sucks, and every song I ever hear from them on the radio sounds the same. Throw in the fact that he looks like he hasn't eaten since 1998, and it makes me want to strangle him through the TV. All that being said, I realize this guy gets laid more than eggs. Jessica Simpson, Natalie Portman, and most recently....tennis star Maria Sharapova. Well, Adam just couldn't keep his mouth shut. He tells about how awful Maria was in the sack in the upcoming issue of Exile Magazine, a Moscow based alternative magazine. This is painful fellas....

MOSCOW (Context) - The former lover of tennis star Maria Sharapova, Maroon 5's frontman Adam Levine, revealed yesterday why he broke off their brief romance.

"She wouldn't make any noise during sex," Levine said. "I can't tell you how disappointed I was. I really thought, like a lot of guys, that she'd be the loud screaming type. But instead, she just lay there like a dead frog. She even got angry if I started to moan, said it 'ruined her concentration.' It was so disillusioning that I went on Paxil for a month afterwards. Really, it was much more of a shock than when I found out there's no such thing as the Easter Bunny."

So the girl that screams as if she's being shot when she hits a tennis ball, doesn't even make a peep in the sheets when she's getting pounded? Either Adam Levine isn't doing something right, or Maria Sharapova has to be the biggest poser of all time. Then again, she'd probably be silent with me too, so who am I to throw stones.

Who Cares About Wimbledon....

Nobody really cares that Venus Williams won Wimbledon over the weekend, right? I'm willing to say that tennis is one of the worst sports on the planet, especially to watch on TV. So here are some pictures of Lucy Pinder and her gi-normous cans. Because as far as I'm concerned....she's the real winner of Wimbledon this weekend. Just ask your box of tissues.

(Photos courtesy of http://hollywoodtuna.com/)

Sharapova Wins Today at Wimbleton

I know, I know...no one cares that much about tennis, but her victory today is an excuse to post a picture of her enjoying a victory snack.

"It's just a weird situation, because you know the rain is coming. You're just thinking you might be a match point up and you have to go and wait to finish the match. It's a little bit of a tense moment." Well Maria, I couldn't agree more.

I Apologize In Advance

Seriously, are these bikini photos of Serena Williams or Mike Tyson??

And, the most puzzling factoid about Serena Williams? The notion that she once dated Tayshaun Prince. For my money, this is the oddest pairing in the history of relationships!

If I posted the "view-from-behind" photo, I wouldn't be able to come to grips with myself (in order to see it, click on the below link -- 3rd photo from top). The Win Column does have some limits...

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles/showbiz/showbiznews.html?in_article_id=461183&in_page_id=1773

Happy Birthday, Anna...

Anna Kournikova is 26 today. That is all...Cheers!

I Almost Cost Maria Her Match This Morning

For all of you Tennis junkies out there, I just thought I'd update you on what's going on out in Paris for the French Open. Maria Sharapova showed little sign of her recent shoulder trouble as she defeated Emilie Loit of France 6-3, 7-6 (4). Sharapova was soft spoken after her match, probably due to the fact that I kept her up until around 3 AM this morning:

"My shoulder is still not where I want it to be. It's still not perfect," Sharapova said. "I don't think I've had a more serious injury."

Maria, it's not really my fault that I had whisky d*ck last night. Normally, a smoke show like you would be able to satisfy me pretty quickly...but hey, once and a while these things happen. I'd like to apologize to all your Russian fans for risking your tennis match due to my craving for a crank job. But at the end of the day, you're still stupid hot....and we still have many positions to try for your upcoming events. I love you, call me.