Angel's Dust

To all you a**clowns out there who claim that golf is not a sport, I am sad to report that you couldn't be more right after what the golfing world witnessed this past weekend. As the 2007 U.S. Open at Oakmont came to a close yesterday, Angel Cabrera, sporting a level of pudge that only 'Suds can pull off with success, held off an absolutely cut-up Tiger Woods, who was rocking some Nike Dry-fit gear that only the strippers at Cheaters could squeeze into after getting all lubed up in the "VIP Room". Really, I'm not usually one to ogle over a dude in spandex, but Tiger is jacked. Not only did Cabrera hold off Woods though, he basically sh%t on all you 20 handicappers with a gym membership. On the 72nd and final hole of the tournament, Cabrera smoked a drive down the middle. Shortly thereafter, he reached his Argentinian bearclaws into his golfbag only to emerge with pack of smokes. This guy proceeded to rip a heater on the final hole of the Open! WTF?!?!? Judging by his deep complexion, and overall womanizing looks, they were probably friggin' menthols too. What an animal. Do you think MJ ever hacked heaters in the huddle of game seven of the NBA Finals? How 'bout Peyton Manning smokin' cloves (as only such a woman would do) on the sidelines knowing he has to go in and run a two-minute drill? Never. As I am an avid golfer, it pains me to say this, but golf is not a sport - it's a game. Angel Cabrera proved that today.