Make the Speakers Bleed!

Recently, I have not been able to take this CD out of my stereo. I know not all readers of The Win Column find rap pleasureable on the ears, but this CD is ridiculous! Now when mentioning the greatest rap CD's of all time, Illmatic always gets mentioned. I think the common buddy mentions this out of due respect, but doesn't know the songs nearly as well as the other classics like The Chronic, Ready to Die, or All Eyes on Me. Nevermind the fact that he was only 16 when he made this! In an era of Little John and all this other crap, it's nice to hear something of lyrical substance.

I rap for listeners, blunt heads, fly ladies and prisoners
Henessey holders and old school n*gga$, then I be dissin' a
Unofficial that smoke woolie thai
I dropped out of Cooley High, gassed up by a cokehead cutie pie
Jungle survivor, f*ck who's the liver
My man put the battery in my back,
a difference from Energizer -
Sentence begins indented, with formality
My duration's infinite, money-wise or physiology
Poetry, that's a part of me, retardedly bop
I drop the anciently manifested hip-hop, straight off the block
I reminisce on park jams, my man was shot for his sheep coat
Childhood blessing make me see him drop in my weed smoke.

Go make those Speakers Bleed!

Get Your Weekend Car Wash

Does this chick really start pissing on the roof of this car at the 28 second mark???? Unbelievable. Finally, Suds has met the missing link in his life. "Beach bodies" for two!

In all seriousness...if that's your car, what do you do in that situation?

(Video located on http://break.com/)

We May Have Won the War....

...But England is kicking our ass in the smokin' hot chicks department lately. Sienna Miller, Kate Beckinsale, Helena Bonham Carter, Keira Knightley, and now, I've feasted my eyes on yet another British beauty. Courtesy of IDONTLIKEYOUINTHAYWAY, I present to my faithful Win Column readers.....Gemma Atkinson.

Gemma is a 22 year-old hot piece of ace. She stars in the teen soap opera Hollyoaks (whatever the hell that show is) and is apparently maintaining her fame by making guest appearances in all the magazines that perverts like us buy and look at at a regular basis (Arena, FHM, Loaded, Maxim, Zoo Weekly and Nuts).

So enjoy these pictures of Gemma. I've never heard of her before, but I can assure you, this will not be the last we hear from her. Suds has a new crush on her. It's too bad I hate British people and probably will never get over to London to check her out. But should she ever come over to Boston, I'll buy a size medium black button down and follow her to Felt, Mansion, or whatever other trendy club her luscious cans take her to. I bet they point her due west.

A-Rod's Birth Is The Least Important Thing Ever to Happen On July 27th's Throughout History

In an attempt to NOT have Chieftain's homo-erotic post about A-Rod be on the top of the blog, I wanted to share some research I've done today. I think after you review the facts, you'll agree with me that when its all said and done, I'm sure July 27th will NOT be remembered as being A-Rod's birthday. After all he's not even the best ball player that was born on this date, Shea Hillenbrand is (just kidding Chieftain, save your conniption fit for the softball field). I think the facts show that July 27th's throughout the past 250 years have been a meaningful date in the field of communication. Without further ado...

July 27th marks the best of times and the worst of time for good ole' Richard Nixon. On this day back in 1960, he won his party's nomination to run against JFK. As we all know, Nixon lost a narrow race. Many historians point to the invention of the television (arguably the most important invention of communication ever) as the primary reason for Nixon's demise. In those three historic television debates, JFK came across as young, vibrant and articulate as opposed to Nixon who looked like a wet bag of trash that had been ravaged by raccoons through the night. However, on the same date 14 years later, the House Judiciary Committee voted 27-11 to recommend Nixon's impeachment on a charge that he had personally engaged in a "course of conduct" designed to obstruct justice in the Watergate case.

Further, on this day back in 1789, the United States initiated the Dept. of Foreign Affairs which was a pre-cursor for the Department of State. The State Dept. acts primarily as the instrument of communication throughout the world on America's behalf. In essence, its goal is to advance U.S. objectives and interests in the world through its primary role in developing and implementing the President's foreign policy.

After two failures, Cyrus W. Field succeeded in laying the first underwater telegraph cable between North America and Europe back on this day in 1866.

Jesus H, the hits just keep on coming! On July 27th 1940, "A Wild Hare" was released introducing the character of Bugs Bunny. Because of Bugs' popularity among the masses, combined with the HUGE boom of people going to the movies, the government used Bugs Bunny cartoons as a communication tool to the masses, often having Bugs get the better of Adolf Hitler, Hermann Goering, and the Japanese to help ease the tension among the general public as WWII waged on.

On a lighter note, this date marks the abrupt and tragic death of Reggie Lewis whom, at the age of 27, died on the court at Brandeis University during practice. Oh yeah, Bob Hope died today too, but he was 100 and had it coming.

So in closing, I'm sorry for the long-winded post, but I think you'll agree with me that A-Rod's birthday doesn't even make the highlight reel in the history of July 27th's. I hope you twist your ankle tonight A-Rod, and go on the DL.

Orlando

In Regards to Chieftain Ruining My Lesbian Kissing Post With His AROD Birthday Wishes.....

Happy Birthday, A-Rod!

Alex Rodriguez turns 32 today! A-Rod is a baseball god. This post serves as proof.

In 12 seasons, A-Rod has been honored as an AL All-Star 11 times...the one year he didn't make cut was 1999 -- after all, he only batted .285 and only slugged 42 HR's and 111 RBI's that year...all while playing SS, the "power" position that it's not.

For his career, A-Rod's 162 game average is as follows:

.306 AVG

44 HR's

127 RBI's

128 Runs

191 Hits

22 SB's

.964 OPS

Again, that's his "average" 162-game season. Amazing.

...If he hits 1 more "A-bomb" before June 29, 2008, he will become the youngest player ever to hit his 500th home run, breaking the record Jimmie Foxx set in 1939. Bottom line, Rodriguez is going to hit 800+ home runs (assuming health).

• 2 MVP's (runner-up twice, and top 15 in voting another 6 times...not including his inevitable MVP this year)


• 2-time Gold Glove winner (likely winner at 3B this year - as he's been stellar in the field, only collecting 6 errors to-date)


• Member of the 40/40 Club (42 HR's and 46 SB's in 1998...at the age of 22)


• 1996 - AL Batting Champ, AL Runs Leader, AL Doubles Leader, AL Total Bases Leader (all at the age of 20)


• 1998 - AL Hits Leader


• 2001 - AL Home Run Champ, AL Runs Leader, AL Total Bases Leader, AL Extra-Base Hits Leader,


• 2002 - AL Home Run Champ, AL RBI Title, AL Total Bases Leader


• 2003 - AL Home Run Champ, AL Slugging Percentage Leader, AL Runs Leader,


• 2005 - AL Home Run Champ, AL Slugging Percentage Leader, AL OPS Leader, AL Runs Leader


• Owns nearly every power record a major league SS can hold -- Runs in a season, extra-base hits in a season, highest slugging percentage in a season, total bases in a season, HR's in a season

...But, you're all right -- he's not clutch??? He's only a career .280 postseason hitter -- and this year, he's only batting .519 with 7 HR's in the 9th inning alone! Yes, you read that correctly...I said .519!

When it's all said and done, Alex Rodriguez will be viewed as the best baseball player in the history of the game. Better than Babe Ruth. Better than Willie Mays. Better than Ted Williams. Better than Barry Bonds.

His entrance music? Baby Boy's "The Way I Live". Keep on keepin' on, A-Rod -- we are all witnessing history...

Call Me Ray Charles

Here at the Win Column, we know you all worked hard this week. Chances are, I probably didn't. But that doesn't mean we can't all enjoy two girls fooling around. This is America, I enjoy watching girls share a passionate kiss and an occasional "pat" or two, or three. Hooray for girls!!!!!!!

All this video needs is me playing chop sticks in the background to spice things up a little.

This One Goes Out to My Ex-Roommate

My ex-roommate loves three things, and only three things...his live-in girlfriend, bagles, and Philadelphia Eagles football. No lie, the oft-injured Donovan McNabb gives him a chubby.

So, with no further ado...

Donovan McNabb has joined the blogging ranks. To view his blog, follow the below link. It's official, The Win Column just lost one dedicated reader by way of D-Mac's blog. What have I learned thus far? McNabb looooves barbeques. Earth shattering, I tell you.

http://yardbarker.com/author/column/11959

Some side points about McNabb...

• The former backup Syracuse guard was named to the Syracuse University Board of Trustees in 2002, the youngest to ever do so (at Syracuse).


• McNabb is the second least intercepted quarterback per pass attempt in NFL history, behind only Neil O'Donnell. McNabb's career ratio is 1 interception for every 45.26 pass attempts, while O'Donnell was intercepted only once every 47.49 pass attempts.

Fly Me to the Moon...

Fly me to the moon
And let me play among the stars
Let me see what spring is like
On Jupiter and Mars
In other words hold my hand
In other words darling kiss me

Fill my life with song
And let me sing forevermore
You are all I hope for
All I worship and adore
In other words please be true
In other words I love you

-Frank Sinatra

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I apologize for getting caught up in a Sinatra moment, but sometimes you just gotta feel the song and get emotional. Per cnn.com today, NASA has released information that says that a bunch of U.S. astronauts have flown space shuttles while absolutely dizzle-hawked.

A panel found that flight surgeons allowed intoxicated astronauts to fly on the shuttle.

The revelation shocked former astronauts and came as NASA deals with the apparent sabotage of a computer bound for the orbiting international space station.

Earlier an Aviation Week story based on the report said the agency found "heavy use of alcohol" by astronauts within 12 hours of launch -- a violation of NASA's standard 12-hour "bottle-to-throttle" rule.

Ok, ok, ok....I'm f*cking confused. NASA has a standard "12 hour bottle to throttle rule"???? So, astronauts can get sh*tfaced after twelve hours that atomic jet blasts off from earth? No wonder we haven't done a god damn thing up in space. Seriously, what do they do up there? We should have been to planets and all that good crap, but instead....our astronauts were pounding booze, getting weird, and probably enjoying some good ol' fashioned space sex while we were expecting results. Actually, good for them. Astronauts are now my new heroes. You want see another headline on CNN.COM.....you put me in a space shuttle with 10 30-packs of Bud Light, two bottles of Bacardi, and four 2-liters of Diet Pepsi.....and I'll show you how weird things can get up in orbit.

http://www.cnn.com/2007/TECH/space/07/27/nasa.woes/index.html

How to be more like MacGyver. Part 1.

Turn A PENCIL Into A LIGHT

While this may not be practical, (everyone should put a flashlight in your car or have a lighter) you may need this one day for some crazy reason.

Disclaimer: The Win Column does not condone the use of any MacGyver trick unless supervised by Simply Suds after 15 cold ones.

Thank you

Does Theo Really Want Teixeira?

If so, this is not a complex trade to complete.

From the Rangers perspective, Teixeira has the ability to help a contender for two seasons (this year and next)...so, they would MUCH prefer to deal him before the upcoming July 31st deadline. If GM Jon Daniels wants to deal Teixeira while his value is highest, then he must do so now! If Daniels waits until the offseason, Teixeira's value becomes that of what Soriano's was last year. How'd that work that?? Riiiiiiight, Nationals GM Jim Bowden couldn't land equal value for Soriano, so he was left getting nothing for his star's services.

So, Texas wants Jacoby Ellsbury and either Clay Buchholz/Jon Lester for Teixeira? Not going to happen. So, let's break down a realistic (and opportunistic) option...

Clay Buchholz is absolutely "untouchable" in any deal involving Mark Teixeira. Period. Similar to how the Yankees value uber-prospects Philip Hughes and Joba Chamberlain, Buchholz is in that same mold. The three aforementioned pitchers are all very close to becoming major league STUDS. They all possess legitimate ACE "stuff". To put this in perspective, there are only (approximately) 15 legitimate aces in all of baseball right now. Along with Dodgers future ace Clayton Kershaw (believe me, remember this name), all of these prospects come from the same mold as Yovani Gallardo and Tim Lincecum. Barring injury, they are all sure to dominate hitters for the next decade.

That being said, Mark Teixeira could still be a Red Sox. And yes....even as a diehard Yankee fan, I can admit that Teixeira would make the Sox A LOT better. He is exactly what the Sox need, especially with Ortiz ailing. Essentially, Teixeira is exactly what JD Drew isn't. I called that one, didn't I (from the get-go, I stood ground and maintained that Drew wasn't worth $7 million/year...let alone $14 million/year)? In some distinct cases, OBP is not the end-all to be-all...and this is coming from the biggest stat junkie in the country.

Imagine a 3-4-5 of Ortiz/Manny/Teixeira??? Oh my good Lord!

So, how does it get done?

Easy...Lester, Youkilis, and Craig Hansen for Mark Teixeira. Guaranteed, this would get it done. And, it should be a no-brainer on behalf of the Sox braintrust. I repeat, a no-brainer!!

Yeah, I get it...Sox Nation loves "Yoooooouk" and the story that is Jon Lester, but to get something of substance in return...you must give up something. That's just how it works. I know...crazy, huh?

Lester projects as a future #3. Nothing better. He doesn't have great "stuff" and he may have the worst placement of any Sox pitcher I've watched for the past decade-plus. The only thing Lester has going for him is that he's a lefty.

Youkilis just isn't that good of a baseball player. He's the corner infielder version of David Eckstein. Hustles his a$$ off, hits for a decent average, and has NO pop. 22 HR's in two years as a full-time first baseman is embarrassing. There's no other way around it. Let's face the facts...there's a reason why Youkilis wasn't a major league starter until the age of 27.

And, Craig Hansen?? God, where do I start? Hmmmm...maybe with the fact that he NEEDS to fire his agent. Newsflash...Hansen was a "can't-miss" prospect until Scott Boras demanded that he control Hansen's regiment/progress. Hansen was unbelievable until Boras started demanding that Hansen change his mechanics and arm motions. Why? There's a reason why Hansen didn't allow a single run in his senior year at St. John's. It's the same reason why the Sox made Hansen their 1st Round pick in 2005. Who the hell is Scott Boras to mess with his client's success?? Similar to the Dice-K situation, Scott Boras needs to stay out of TEAM matters -- when it comes to prospects, teams are always going to have the player's best interests at hand (it's probably the only time this holds true). In the past year, I've learned one thing -- Scott Boras doesn't know a lick about pitching.

Again, as a Yankee fan...I'm praying that Theo overvalues Jon Lester. Without landing a marquee name (like Teixeira), this current Sox roster stands no chance at bringing home another World Series. Right now, they have Beckett and a great bullpen. That's it!

* I'd also like to take this opportunity to point out there that I have developed a serious baseball infatuation with Nick Markakis and Ryan Braun. The MLB Baseball Package is the greatest gift God has ever created.

What Do You Think?

I was watching a Red Sox game from 2004 tonight, where Pedro was pitching an absolute gem. My first thought, while watching the game, was that he is an absolute Hall of Famer. So it got me thinking, what other active pitchers are going to be inducted into the sacred grounds of Cooperstown?

I say, the no-brainers are Clemens, Maddux, Smoltz, Hoffman, Pedro, and Rivera. I'm sure I'm forgetting a few obvious picks, but I'm drunk, and that is what the readers are for...to point out my mistakes.

There are a bunch of pitchers that are borderline, in my opinion. Schilling, Randy Johnson, Tom Glavine, etc. I refuse to include any young pitchers who may, or may not, turn out to be incredible arms. My question is... who has proved themselves worthy of the Hall? Do you agree with my no-brainers? What are your thoughts about my questionables (and feel free to throw some more out there)? And how much do the Yankees suck?

Discuss...

Just In Time for the Fantasy Baseball Playoff Push...

Per http://rotoworld.com/:


.....Down goes Chase Utley for 6 weeks with a broken hand he suffered this afternoon after being hit by a pitch in the 5th inning. A 1st round selection in most drafts, Utley hasn't disappointed. He's as big of a fantasy monster as they come at 2nd base:

.334 avg
17 HR
81 RBI
77 runs scored

I actually saw Utley get hit by John Lannan (making his MLB debut) while watching the baseball package today. Utley stared at Lannan, and I was sure he was going to make a break for the mound and pound Lannan's little head into the rosin bag. I was surprised. The Phillies were up by a run....it's a rookie pitcher....why is Utley so mad????? Maybe it's because he won't be back until September, and we all know how bad the Phillies suck without Chase Utley. Should they fall out of the playoff push...you can expect Utley to rest that hand until 2008.

Ryan Howard is the only bright spot left in the offense. He's a man on a mission. Another absolute monster shot to center field today, giving him 29 on the year. Watch the 2nd half this beast has...it's gonna be ridiculous!!!!!!!!

Is It Weird to Want to Have Relations With a Cartoon?

I saw the picture of The Win Column's favorite Keeley Hazell posing with a hot character from the new Simpson's movie on today's http://hollywoodtuna.com/, and I thought to myself....hell, I'd make out with her. Oh wait, she's make believe...as in, not real, a drawing. Damn, if she only knew what I could do to her with an eraser, a sharpie marker, and one of those flip books.

Is it OK to think a cartoon is hot????????? My vote is abso-f*ckin-lutely.

Elijah Dukes In Hot Water Again

Thats right, folks. Here at The Win Column, Elijah Dukes is certainly a favorite. Only a few months ago he was sky-rocketing to the top of our A-list, alongside Mike Tyson, but recently he seemed to get his act together and became increasing more boring. However, after being transferred to Triple-A and put on the temporary inactive list, he now has more 'free' time to re-discover his old self and get back into some of his old habits.....namely harassing the hell out of his estranged wife. A story coming out of With Leather (http://withleather.com/) is reporting that on Monday, NiShea Dukes told deputies her husband and a woman associated with him made harassing phone calls to her. Because there was a Domestic Violence Injunction filed last time ole' Elijah tried to get some quality time with said wife, this might spell trouble for him. He could get a misdemeanor charge for violating the injunction or possibly face felony aggravated stalking charges.

First of all, I'd like to get a clear definition of what NiShea is calling harassment. Who among us hasn't called their ex-flame late at night after they've had an all night hump fest with a younger, hotter chick just to let them know about it. Maybe he had a legitimate question to ask her, like trying to find out if he left his other khaki pants over there? Either way, keep up the good work Elijah....we missed you pal.

Orlando

We Get It, R. Kelly is a "Flirt"

According to Billboard.com, R. Kelly is revisiting his short film series "Trapped in the Closet". Ten new installments of the saga will be released on DVD on August 21st, via Jive.

Nielsen SoundScan reports that the first "Trapped in the Closet" DVD has sold 233,000 copies in the United States. Are kidding me???? If R. Kelly can SELL 233,000 copies of trash, why the hell can't The Win Column get 233,000 hits/week. There's no excuse!!

The return of rap's mini-soap opera??? Come on. I mean, seriously -- turn this guy's mic off. Kelly is just as much a creep as is Michael Jackson (MJ diddles little boys, while R. Kelly pisses on little girls). Five years ago, R. Kelly was indicted on 21 counts of having sexual intercourse with a minor. Five years ago!! And, he hasn't yet gone to trial??? Wake up! There's an actual video of Kelly shaggin' a 14-year-old. How much more evidence does one need? Bottom line, R. Kelly's act is old -- he rapes girls and wears basketball jerseys. Enough already.

Remember when he wed Aaliyah back in 1995...only to have it annulled a few months later? At the time, he was 27...and Aaliyah? Well, she was 15!! Along with the 29,000+ sex offenders registered on myspace, lock this creep up! The list of lawsuits which have been brought upon Kelly is unprecedented, starting all the way back to 1991 -- acts which have only picked up since then.

Lastly, I'll leave you with this...referring back to my previous softball post, it has come to my attention that the league is looking into suspending me for the remainder of the season! Are you laughing yet?

http://www.billboard.com/bbcom/news/article_display.jsp?vnu_content_id=1003616292

It's the Little Things That Win Close Games...

I'm going to keep this short and sweet. It's the little things that win ball games. I'm talking about hustling, running, reading signs from the base coach, and being a "head's up" on-deck batter. The Boston Red Sox should be ashamed of themselves for the way they played last night. Coco, Manny, and Alex Cora specifically. Coco dogged it around third like a jerk before Josh Barfield gunned him down at the plate in a 1-0 game. Where was Manny, the next batter up? He was in la-la land as usual, still on the on-deck circle taking his half-a$$ practice cuts. And Alex Cora, who is normally as heads up as they come, missed a hit-and-run sign with one out in the 8th to leave Jason Varitek caught in a pickle. Most of you know he runs like he just took a fresh dump in his drawers, so you can imagine how that worked out.

As pissed as I am, I can't imagine how pissed Josh Beckett must have been last night. He pitched his fourth career complete game (first since 8/13/2005) and was absolutely filthy last night. Beckett allowed four hits, one earned run, while striking out seven. He made one mistake on a fastball to Franklin Gutierrez (gulp) in the third inning, a fastball right down the c*ck.

But last night, his teammates let him down. They were taking a night off when the AL's best pitcher this year left his heart on the mound. Way to go, Terry Fran"coma" and the boys. Keep playing and hitting like that, you'll be watching the Yankees raise another pennant flag.


***On a side note, hats off to Fausto Carmona. He pitched one hell of a game. Good game, kid.

(Photos courtesy of http://yahoo.com/)

Hit The Showers, Son

Before I start confessing my obsession of A-Rod on the eve of his 32nd birthday - and exactly where he ranks historically, I need to get your opinion/thoughts on what went down last night.

Last night, I was ejected from my first baseball/softball game (in this instance, softball). Going into the game, I was already in a heated mood, as I had spent all day negotiating (or arguing, depending on how you want to spin it) with work clients about additional fees. Anyways, that's neither here nor there.

Here are the specifics...entering last night, our team was tied at the top of the standings in a pretty competitive league (after all, it is only softball) -- sitting at 8-1. The league I speak of is considered a "modified league", meaning that nearly any type of underhand pitch fits the bill.

Well, I'm our team's pitcher -- and the fat f*ckin' ump had it in for me from the get-go. I'll be honest, I throw peas -- darts if you will. Anyways, this ump wanted no part of what I had to offer. Instead, his strike zone preferred that of a "popcorn pitch" -- you know, the pitch that loops and then lofts into the strike zone. Clearly, this ump was only familiar with slow pitch softball.

By the 4th inning, I had had enough! And yes, it takes A LOT for me to say anything, as I've been taught (since I've been a toddler) to NEVER show any type of emotion when on the mound. With the score tied 4-4, I tweaked -- I'll be honest, I lost my marbles. I had an adolescent moment. Needless to say, I was shown the showers.

Per league rules...when a player is ejected, his spot in the batting order remains -- and, thus, becomes an automatic out. That being said, our team's cleanup spot in the order now recorded two automatic outs during the later innings.

In the end, we lost to a far inferior team 12-7.

My question to you is (remove yourself from the fact that I'm a Yankee fan, and answer the question as if it were you in the same situation)....

Do I owe my team an apology?

I Can't Wait

I wish football season started tomorrow. My only problem is, I have a handful of shit, a clean face, and I don't know what to do with myself. Any suggestions Suds?

F*ck the *

So everyone thinks that Bonds doesn't deserve his place in the record books, right? Well, let me educate you all. Before I do, let me tell you that I believe that Bonds took steroids. But, this is America, innocent until proven guilty, right?

I was informed about a guy, named Pug Galvin, who was the first recorded case of performance enhancing substances. From what I have read, he started injecting monkey testosterone back in 1889. I'm not too sure if that made him a better player, but he is a Hall of Famer. Should there be an asterisk next to his name?

That brings me to my point. Maybe Bonds did cheat, (I fully believe he did) but does that mean his accomplishments should not be recognized? How do we know that everyone that we grew up idolizing didn't do something to help there game? Maybe Hank Aaron injected himself with some sort of animal hormones. Everyone knows that "Greenies" have been a part of baseball since Ruth's days (although all he needed was a little yayo to get over his hangover).

My point is, since the beginning of the game, people have been trying to get an advantage. We only hear about it now because technology has advanced to the point where we know what is in our "superstars" bodies. But, how do we know that Henry Aaron wasn't doing the exact same thing that Barry has been doing for the past 5 years? If we are going to crucify Barry, why not everyone else who has has an incredible record? Maybe Cal Ripken had a twin...

It Takes a Lot Of Ball$ to Play

There's nothing I can really say about this Japanese game show, except they are f*cking crazy for playing. There isn't a prize in the world that would let me have my ball$ smashed with a huge lever that looks like its shot out of a cannon. The guy in the red makes this video...he is so friggin' scared to play, he is screaming like a girl the entire game...and you know what...I can't blame him. Unfortunately, I don't know what they need to do to win...but I can tell you....he didn't make the cut.

Someone Needs to Put Their Training Wheels Back On

If you thought the NBA and MLB was having serious issues, imagine the World Series and NBA Finals being tarnished year after year after year. Imagine Michael Jordan being scrutinized after all of his titles for cheating...imagine Derek Jeter being kicked out of the World Series for doing something illegal. I'm talking like physically during the events here, people.

Thus, we arrive at the sport called cycling. Believe me, I could care less about the guys that ride their bikes up the Alps, or whatever they do. This sport is absolutely meaningless to me. But I'm sure that losers like Orlando will defend a sport they watch on TV, yet could never muster up enough endurance out of their resin filled lungs, to attempt to peddle to the liquor store.

However, Tour de France leader Michael Rasmussen has been stripped of his yellow jersey after the 16th stage....and I'm talkin' about the sport's biggest event, and probably the toughest physical sporting event in the world (I will admit that). Rasmussen had the Tour de France in the bag, but his own team decided to kick him out of the event, because they feel he lied about his whereabouts when he missed random drug tests in both May AND June. Granted, Rasmussen has been tested 17 times during the event, and I assume they are all negative...but to miss 2 random drug tests in the heart of his training session? Buddy, you were hittin' the sauce!!!!!!!!!!!!

Cycling is in absolute shambles. Lance Armstrong (the most celebrated athlete in the history of the sport) is hated around the world, because everyone thinks he used 'roids. Numerous cyclists have been kicked out of this Tour de France in the middle of the race for testing positive for performance enhancing drugs. Some guys are having blood transfusions to get more oxygen in their blood. The entire sport is tainted, and in my opinion, is a complete joke. Attention to the people that ride their 10 speeds extra fast for a rush, "GET A F*CKING GRIP ON YOUR SPORT!!!!!!!" Before the scandals, people still didn't give a damn about the Tour de France. Now, you are just putting the nail in the coffin for all us sports fans that could care less how many spokes you have on your Huffy. I hope a stick gets caught in all of your tires. Jerks.

The NFL Loves More Bush

Scout.com's Adam Caplan is reporting that the Oakland Raiders and rookie RB Michael Bush have agreed on a four year deal that includes a signing bonus of approximately $500,000. Terms on the meat and potatoes portion of the four-year deal have not yet been disclosed.

Where do I begin ? I could start by telling all of you mutts that Michael Bush will be one of the best running backs in the NFL within the next four years. Yes, he is that good. He is 6'2", 243 pounds, runs a 4.5 40-yard dash (once the leg fully heals...ran a 4.6 on a newly healed leg), and has absolutely ridiculous hands. How do I know that he has the intangibles? Maybe the fact that I bet on Louisville to cover, with the over 90% of the entire 2005 college football season. Nothing makes you analyze a game more than having more money on the game than you do in your checking account. I pretty much sweat Louisville Cardinal red from September to January, and I don't plan on stopping now. Give Bush some time to adapt to the NFL game....let him get his feet wet behind Lamont Jordan....let him get fully healthy....and watch out. Don't worry about the broken leg...they are easier to come back from than torn ligaments...and there are countless amounts of backs that have succeeded after surgery.

Look out Reggie....there's about to be some more Bush on Sportscenter. This guy is a winner.

Remember October Russell?

Well, a month ago (on June 28th), I posted a blog praising Chiefs TE Tony Gonzalez for revolutionizing the "game" (see below link). This past Friday, the aforementioned "formal commitment ceremony" finally took place -- officially making October Russell.......what, I'm not sure??? His lifelong girlfriend? His lifelong partner? Ms. Russell? Mrs. Russell? Mrs. Gonzalez? Either way, I will eventually find out all the details -- after they return from their assumed honeymoon (if that's what you call it in this particular instance).

How am I going to do this, you ask? Have no fear...Chieftain seeks results!!

Back when the original Tony Gonzalez/October Russell blog was posted, I almost immediately received the following email (thewincolumn@gmail.com):

Came across your blog on Tony G. October Russell actually has a myspace page at (page address was inserted here). But of course you have to be her friend to look at her page, so definitely try getting added as her friend to look at more of her pics. She's the tanned complexion one on her myspace pic.

My boyfriend and I partied with her and Tony at his birthday party this year at a Manhattan Beach Club. She's a sweet girl and really beautiful, they make an awesome couple together!

Hope that helps.

...That's exactly what I did -- you guessed it, I emailed October Russell via myspace (crack on me for having an account all you want...I couldn't care less). The exchange went as follows:

What's up, October -

The reason I'm reaching out to you is because a couple of guys and myself run a sports blog, The Win Column (http://www.thewincolumn.blogspot.com/).

Just the other day, we ran a brief piece on the notion that you and Tony Gonzalez are planning a 'formal commitment ceremony' next month. In that piece, we requested our readers to locate any pictures they may have seen of you.

Since then, one of readers pointed out to me that you myspace page...hence, the reason why I'm reaching out to you here. She went on to say the following...

"My boyfriend and I partied with her and Tony at his birthday party this year at a Manhattan Beach club. She's a sweet girl and really beautiful, they make an awesome couple together!"

With all that said, it would be very much appreciated if you could send us (thewincolumn@gmail.com) some pictures of the both of you when you have some down-time (as I'm sure you're running around a lot these days).

Best of luck.

...October's response??

That's great. How about I add you as a friend and you can take a pick of whichever pictures you like?

How about this one (link to above picture was inserted here)?

...All things considered, I didn't request to "friend" October via myspace -- I'm not THAT much of a creep...and low and behold, October didn't request me to be her latest "myspace friend". Shockingly (I mean, you should see how good I look)! But, along with her email, October did attach a photo of both her and her "conquest". For that reason, I feel obliged to share the photo with you. It's my duty.

By not "crossing the line", I hope to report that much more information about this pending situation in the coming weeks. I can't be the only one who's intrigued.

http://thewincolumn.blogspot.com/search?q=october+russell

I Can't Believe This Goes On For 2:33

Jessica Alba is Single!

I don't care if you don't care about this news...I do. What's this all mean? Jessica Alba will be headlining the news for months to come. Any time I am given an opportunity to post a few pictures of Alba, I'm going to take full advantage of it. Who's complaining??? John Amaechi? Lance Bass? Norman Orlando?

After all, look at those niiiiiiiiiiips in that white dress! They're friggin' torpedos!

http://www.usmagazine.com/jessica_alba_breakup

Did You Know (Reggie Lewis Version)?

Born and raised in Baltimore, MD (an absolute mecca for talented ballers), former Celtics captain Reggie Lewis (the #22 overall selection in the 1987 Draft averaged 17.6 PPG during his shortened career) was a key member of the Dunbar High School basketball team that went 50-0 during the 1981/1982 season.

An undefeated basketball season is great and all, but an undefeated HIGH SCHOOL squad which featured 4 future NBA players in nothing short of incredible!! The others?

• Muggsy Bogues (12th overall pick in 1987 Draft by Washington Bullets...out of Wake Forest)
• Reggie "Silk" Williams (4th overall pick in the 1986 Draft by LA Clippers...out of Georgetown)
• David Wingate (2nd round pick in 1986 Draft by Philadelphia 76ers...out of Georgetown)

As a side note...when playing with the Spurs, David Wingate was accused of raping first a 17-year-old woman...and a couple days later, a 21-year-old woman. He was eventually cleared of both charges, as both victims refused to testify. Shady!

Kanye West or 50 Cent?

It's official...Kanye has confirmed that he will continue along as planned -- he has moved the release date of his third album, Graduation, up to September 11th (the same day that 50 Cent's third album, Curtis, will also be dropped). Let the "rap games" begin.

So my question is...

Which album will produce the better numbers, as in sales?? SlowStuff?

Personally, I believe both of these rappers to be overrated. Let's face it...Kanye is a better producer than rapper, and 50 Cent is a byproduct of self-promotion ("shot nine times", constant rivalry fueds, GGGGGG-Unit, Eminem's legacy, etc).

At the end of the day, I prefer Kanye's talents over 50 Cent's. Kanye's style is more original, as he often utilizes pitched-up vocal samples with his own drums and instruments. He comes with a soul feel. With that said, I don't expect the numbers to support my opinion -- evidenced by the fact that 50 Cent has achieved multi-platinum success with both his albums, selling over twenty million records worldwide.

How does 'Fiddy' feel about Kanye? Just ask him (take into consideration that the below quotes are slightly over a year old)...

"He puts together witty phrases and he's a great talent as a producer, but I still don't know who Kanye West is when I listen to him. By listening to his records, I don't know who he is — I know he's been in a car accident, that's what I know."

"I feel like Kanye West is successful because of me. After 50 Cent, [hip-hop fans] was looking for something non-confrontational, and they went after first thing that came along. That was Kanye West, and his records have taken off."

From a marketing perspective, the one thing that Kanye has on his side is the favorable reception that his latest two music videos ("Can't Tell Me Nothing" and "Stronger") have received.

Jenn Sterger Makes My Anxiety Disappear

After Brent Musburger made his famous comment about her during a 2005 FSU/Miami nationally televised game...

"15,000 young red-blooded American men just signed up to go to Florida State next semester."

...She hasn't looked back since. She contributes to Sports Illustrated Online's Wednesday "Scorecard Daily". She's also appeared in Playboy and Maxim on numerous occasions.

I know she's old news, but she's smokin' hot, and I hope I see more girls just like her when we attempt to wear cowboy hats, one week from tomorrow, on our Nashville road trip. I'm hoping to stay up as late as possible and get real weird in my tight Levi's 501 jeans and cowboy hat. Anyone that's been to Nashville, or is from Nashville....feel free to chime in on things to do and places to go. Also, I'd love some feedback on what I should bring. I'm going to start making a list of things to bring on this trip, and there are some real geniuses out there that read this miserable website full of hacks. I'm open to any and all suggestions, fire away.

Oh, and if you didn't think I was going to post a link to where you could see her a$$ naked in Playboy...well, apparently you think that I'm sort of ignorant prick. Enjoy...

http://www.121s.com/viewtopic.php?t=5157

Additionally, some of the above photos are courtesy of Miss Sterger's lovely website...

http://www.jennsterger.com/

Bruschi Rumors Are All False

As "anonymous" was kind to provide us with via a comment under the Connecticut section, NBC Sports and the Providence Journal's Tom Curran has put all of the Tedy Bruschi rumors to bed. For those of you that are not from the New England region, there was a vicious rumor swirling around here that # 54, the middle linebacker from the Patriots had passed away. After a few anxious hours, I am glad to learn this isn't true.

Now, since Tedy Bruschi happens to be my favorite player, and I'll now need about 7 Bud Lights just to fall asleep tonight....I'm dedicating this post to at least one more year of the play maker in the middle. The field general, the mike backer, #54. Don't like the video ? F*ck you...I can post whatever the hell I want.

Curtis "My Favorite" Martin to Announce He's Hangin' Up the Spikes

An article in today's New York Post states that former New England Patriots and current New York Jets running back Curtis Martin will announce his retirement later this week. Martin is doing the classy thing here and voiding the final two years of his contract in 2008 and 2009 where he was set to earn millions, and will reduce his 2007 salary from $3.25 million to the NFL veteran minimum salary of $820,000. Martin hasn't been active on a game day since Week 13 of the 2005 NFL season (ironically, against the Patriots in New England) due to a chronic bone-on-bone knee condition.

Curtis, let me be the first member of The Win Column to thank you for your three years of service here in New England. You were an absolute beast in 1995 and 1996, and helped get the Patriots back to their first Super Bowl since the 1985 season. Martin's career numbers are absolutely sick:

168 career games (166 started)
3518 rushing attempts
14,101 rushing yards - 4th All-Time
10 straight 1,000 yard rushing seasons (matched only by Barry Sanders)
4.0 Yds/Rush Avg.
100 Total Touchdowns (90 rushing, 10 receiving)

A first ballot Hall-of-Famer when eligible in 2011, and a total class act on the football field....Curtis Martin did it all the right way. Hopefully, he stays within the game of football to show some of the degenerates, that currently play, the right way to carry themselves within the lines.

http://www.nypost.com/seven/07242007/sports/jets/final_curt_ain_martin_to_make_retirement_official_jets_mark_cannizzaro.htm

Connecticut is Useless

According to the Associated Press...

"Dozens of people lined up at City Hall on Tuesday for municipal identification cards, the first city-issued ID cards specifically designed to bring illegal immigrants out of the shadows and give them access to community services."

Whaaaaaaaaat?? I'm confused - why is the town of New Haven promoting illegal acts? Hence, the term "illegal immigrants". What about the people that have been waiting to be granted access to America legally?

Congratulations, New Haven!! As an estimated 10,000 - 12,000 of New Haven's 125,000 residents are believed to be in the country illegally already, such a move is assured to make New Haven the arm pit of the northeast. That sound? The residents of Springfield, MA rejoice!

New Haven...here's a better idea -- DEPORT THEM! Who cares if there are less maids to go around?? If such stupidity begins to spread across the country, I'm going to fly off the deep end. This is the one topic which I would be forced to protest.

Let me think about this...because of illegal immigrants:

• America loses money on taxes.
• America's schools waste funds on said immigrants.
• Middle and lower class Americans lose jobs to said immigrants.
• Hospitals lose money.
• Nation is forever in bilingual debate.
• Threat of terrorism increases.
• Increased crime.
• Limitless fraud potential.

Not to get political again, but ONLY immigrants and ride-or-die Republicans stand to gain from such lunacy!

**Lastly - on a serious note, I was just informed by an anonymous source that Tedy Bruschi died just a short time ago???? Can anyone confirm and/or refute this? Obviously, we all hope that this is exactly that...an inaccurate rumor.

***UPDATE: As of 5:25 this evening, I have no further details. For that reason alone, I'm assuming the aforementioned rumor is just that...a false rumor. We can all breathe a little easier. I apologize for any confusion this may have caused.

Better Mugshot??

Remember the "drinking anklet"/SCRAM bracelet that Suds spoke about last week - well...apparently, Lindsay Lohan had/has the same use for it as does Suds. How's it go...great minds think alike??

I'm sure you've all heard the latest Hollywood gossip by now - you know, Lohan was arrested AGAIN for DUI and possession of cocaine.

Is it me...or are these two exact replicas of each other??

• Countless photos of their pee-flaps hanging out? Check.
• Banging/rotating the same men? Check.
• Banging each other? Check.
• Driving with suspended licenses? Check.
• Ongoing and multiple DUI charges? Check.
• Failed music careers? Check.

From what I can gather, the only character traits which currently differentiate these two jerkoffs is that Paris leaked her own sex tape...and, Lindsay is a frequent visitor to the rehab clinic, Promises (aka, a glorified 5-star hotel).

Give it time...

I'd Make a Better Presidential Candidate than John Edwards

Not to get all political (I'll be honest, it's not my specialty), but I watched nearly every second of last night's 2+ hour Democratic debate...and feel compelled to interject (Puffy's new favorite word on Making the Band) a few quick objective points (as I'm neither a registered Democrat nor Republican).

• John Edwards is an idiot. His entire MO is that he truly believes that he is privy to specifics. One problem...his "specifics" are entirely off kilter. Essentially, he provided America with a generic corporate response to every question...with bold twists at the end, comments that he hadn't even convinced himself of. John Edwards is tough to watch - everything about him is awkward.


• Hillary Clinton owned last night's debate, from start to finish. If body language could speak a thousand words, it's clear that every Democratic nominee already knows this. Her tone and presence dominated the stage...this is how pathetic her Democratic competition is. She is feared by her Democratic opponents. She was given lay-up after lay-up...primarily because of the sheer incompetence her current competition possesses. Joe Biden was her only competition last night, as he demonstrated a wealth of knowledge surrounding all military matters.


• Barack Obama doesn't answer questions. He dances around everything. To the uneducated, this may work - as he tends to throw in a few big words here-and-there. And, did anyone hear his response when asked what he would do in the event of simultaneous attacks?? He wilted! He might as well have gone in "timeout" and cried. FAR TOO INEXPERIENCED.

Why isn't the Republican debate not until mid-September???

J. Lo Turns 38...

Happy Birthday, Jennifer Lopez! If you know me, then you already know that J. Lo is the one true love of my life (I also obsess over Don Mattingly, Derek Jeter, Ryan Gomes, Eric Murdock, Kobe, and Peyton Manning).

When I met and conversed with both Puffy (the man!) and J. Lo during the Subway Series (in 2000), I had reached a pinnacle. I had seen the top...and at that very moment, I promised myself that I would never settle for anything but the best.

After seeing J. Lo in person (in her prime years), I can say with the the utmost confidence that I will never see a more flawless individual. I was, and still am at a loss for words. From 1999 - 2002, J. Lo peaked. For that, I will always remember her as the greatest of all-time.

She may not be able to sing and/or act, but she sure knows what she's working with. Cheers to that. Happy Birthday!

On deck: A-Rod turns 32 on Friday!! Expect another love affair...

Utterly Blown Away

While you terds were rotting away watching TV or pulling your pud, I was taking in the White Stripes show tonight. I considered myself a moderate fan going into the night and left utterly blown away by the performance. They had a monster wall of sound that was as raw as the skin between your legs after you've been walking all day (with no undies). I still can't wrap my brain around the fact that a band with only two people had the most dynamic sound I've heard in quite awhile. From the shear energy of the performance to the complete control they commanded of the set, I think the White Stripes are the last of a dying breed.

I may be completely off here, but on a completely separate note I think Meg White is a sexy, sexy minx. Watching her bounce up and down on that drum stool while she banged her way through Icky Thump had me thinking some very unnatural, and potentially illegal thoughts. But I digress...

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