Heres to you, The Win Column fellow bloggers and readers. As you descend to the bar (or a keg party in God's Country) near you to sketch out countless chicks only to go home with some heffer, I thought I would get your game up. Clean out those YouTube's.
By definition, August 10th might be "Lazy Day", but I'm sure this video will have your warped little minds running wild on this Friday afternoon. For the record, my favorite position comes at the 38 second mark -- the possibilities are endless...
My question is...if this chick has enough cash to purchase those perfect implants, why is it that she can't afford a decent hair stylist?? Not to nitpick, but she is rockin' an overwhelming dose of "Rasheed Wallace spots". What the hell is going on there?
(Video seen on http://break.com/)
This TNA promo refers to Pacman in the following manner:
Misunderstood...Player...Game Breaker...Risk Taker...A Man...Team Player.
Really?? I'm confused -- how is one a "team player" if he has been banned from his team's facilities for the upcoming season?? As Pacman wrestles for TNA, how is the former 6th overall pick helping his "team" out this year??
I'm pretty sure Roger Goodell's Pacman video would have gone in a different direction -- something to the tune of:
Thug...Criminal...Waste of Talent...Irresponsible...Problem Child.
According to Boston.com, today (August 10th) marks Lazy Day, followed closely by Relaxation Day on August 15th. These may not be official holidays, but many observe these days faithfully. Being that it's a Friday and all, we thought we'd help you come up with crafty ways that you can celebrate the holidays, while on the job...
Wait a minute, there's actually only one "lazy day" in the calendar year? I've already celebrated 150 of these days! Hell, Sudzie has been celebrating "lazy day" since his decision to change careers this past November!
Rick Ankiel had a complete mental breakdown on the mound in what was the most important year in his baseball career (2000). After posting an 11-7 record, 3.50 ERA, 9.98 strikeouts per nine innings....all at the age of 20....Ankiel and the Cardinals cruised into the playoffs.
Enter the nervous breakdown......
He couldn't find the 94-97 MPH fastball, or the hard 12-to-6 curve ball that he made his money with. Everything was gone.....mentally. He completely collapsed in the 3rd inning in Game 1 of the NLDS game against the Braves....yet, the Cardinals still managed to win the series and move on to the NLCS against the New York Mets.
Enter the real case of the shanks.....
Ankiel didn't even make it out of the 1st inning of Game 2. He threw 20 total pitches that day....and 5 of them soared past the catcher to the back stop. Nobody could explain what had happened to this young stud pitcher that was supposed to be the face of the franchise. It was something out of a movie....much like Tin Cup.....Ankiel just got the shanks....and simply put, could not manage to throw that ball like he had his whole life.
So let's fast forward to 2007....where Rick Ankiel clubbed 32 homers for the AAA Memphis Redbirds. That's right....32 friggin' tall jacks for the 28 year-old OUTFIELDER that hits lefty, throws lefty, and looks as natural out there as they come. Last night, in his first Major League appearance since 2004....Ankiel BLAAAAAAASTED a 3-run home run on a 2-1 curve ball from Doug Brocail into the right field seats. St. Louis completely erupted. They gave him a 2 minute standing ovation, and an unbelievable curtain call. Tony Larussa fought back tears in the post game press conference...
"Short of winning the World Series, it's the happiest I've seen our club," La Russa said. "I'm fighting my butt off to keep it together."
It's nothing short of spectacular that Ankiel is back on the Major League diamond. I think it's an unbelievable story, and I'm going to watch Cardinals games just to root for this kid on a nightly basis. Most pitchers would have given up.....next to none would have worked their a$$es off to get back to the BIGS as a power hitting outfielder.
I'm speechless.
...To see Chieftain's May 29th analysis of Ankiel, see the below link...
http://thewincolumn.blogspot.com/2007/05/revisiting-rick-ankiel_9442.html
***Photos courtesy of YAHOO SPORTS
Should it be true (and I pray to the Heavenly Father above it's not).......that Jessica Alba does indeed have herpes.....what are the chances that you guys (gulp, and girls) would bang her? I'm talking, if Jessica Alba was in your bedroom........and said "Please F*ck Me!!!! And, you can't use protection!!!" I mean.....would you? Seriously...you have the option of having sex with one of the most beautiful and desirable women on the planet, but you are also rolling the dice on whether or not you get an STD that is incurable to the entire world.
What do the readers of The Win Column think? Yay, or nay?
***Suds obviously will start the betting by saying that he'd take the chance because Jessica Alba is the most perfect human being he's ever seen in his 26 years of being on this planet.
Seriously, how is this game not glorified and the sole reason that hockey should exist in America. I love that so many people beat the c*ck snot out of each other, that they barely have enough mallots to finish the game. That's sick!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Trust me...I'd prefer to write my opinions about a particular sport/subject, but other than Barry Bonds, there is nothing newsworthy in sports this week. Nothing! For that reason, I'm forced to post YouTube videos all day. In the blogging world, videos are viewed as a "lazy man's post". For that, I apologize...but, for the time being, these videos are going to have to suffice.
Anyways, I'm not making this post because a useless bird/pigeon died. Been there, done that (i.e., Randy Johnson). No, I'm posting this because of that queer's reaction. Yes, the queer in the John Stockton shorts! Is he serious with those things?? So, readers...what's worse -- the queer's outfit or his reaction?
Also, random question...does PETA protest and/or make a big deal out of these types of situations? If so, you can consider me a proponent of the "People Eating Tasty Animals", a parody of the original PETA that was originated by Mike Doughney in 1996.
For the record, HOLLYWOODTUNA didn't originally find this video (as some of you may or may not claim), but they did link it to another non-English site. Because it's not in English...guess what?? I'm not giving them credit - after all, don't they know that THE WIN COLUMN only cares about the English language and nothing else? Who makes the rules? I DO!
Clearly, Jelena knows what she's working. Other than making the boys go crazy, what else would make her opt to not wear a bra while playing tennis?? THE WIN COLUMN loooooves Jelena's "F It" mentality. A+ for creativity.
Anyways, my research tells me that Jelena, 24, was ranked #4 on the Tour in late 2002, but by the end of 2005 had dropped to 349th in the WTA singles rankings. And, she now currently holds the 650th spot???
What the hell happened to this "breast prodigy"? Upon thinking about it, I concluded that there are only three possible explanations...injury, modeling career, and/or boy troubles. Believe me, all chicks are crazy!
Sure enough, I search around for a minute...and what do I find? Allegations that Jelena had both been kidnapped by her boyfriend AND other allegations claiming that she had kidnapped her boyfriend. When you actually sit down and think about particular strange situations, problem solving becomes such a simplistic novelty.
(And, for the record...I located this video on my own, yet this video is sure to pop up on several blogs in the near future...with or without linking the source. Do I care? No. It's part of the blogging industry. It comes with the territory).
As Sportspen decends on Prague this weekend, I thought I would check out what exactly I am getting myself into. The video is just some hot tennis player from the republic and the pics are from the VIP section of some club. If you dont think my american dollars are getting into VIP every weekend you are friggen crazy. (those fat chicks in the back of the top picture are tourists I hope).
The only explanation for the creation of this dwarf is an ill-fated trip to the Neverland Ranch by some smug toddler. This is what you get when a pop icon has sex with little people.
The boys at consumptionjunction.com have managed to find another gem. I mean, this lady gets punched so friggin' hard in her mouth, I can't believe she didn't go down like Glass Joe in Round 1. If you turn your sound up, you can hear the ferocity with which this blow lands. Damn! I bet they were arguing over who's daughter was a bigger whore, or who's pie should have come in first at the local fair. Let's move this lady onto the second round versus the Raiders/Chargers fans. Right now I have the line set at -190 for the lady I've nicknamed "The Hard Hammer."
***Much thanks to Herbie Hancock for finding this clip for me.
Now I know this video is a little long.... ok its really long but for some reason I find it absolutely amusing as will most others that have been unfortunate enough to experience the game. If you dont have time to watch the whole thing just jump to the time of 6:21 (by far best part). This japanese verison is obviously different then the one we use to play back in the day however it still brings back some funny memories. Let me explain....
A few of us here at The Win Column were unfortunate enough to grow up with one another and in high school most of us had the same study class. Study class, A.K.A doing absolutely nothing for an hour, was a good time right up until our senior year. You could hang out, chat, play table football, whatever. But our senior year that all changed. At the beginning of our senior year the school introduced "silent study" this meant from now on there was no talking or f*cking around during study and because of this "The Silent Game" was introduced.
The rules were as follows:
1. Prior to each start of the game a dare would be put into place
2. Anything is legal in trying to make the other players laugh
3. There is no talking or noise making (1st one to make any sound what-so-ever was the loser)
4. Loser has to complete the dare as soon as they lose regardless of what it is.
Seems pretty simple right? Well this game pretty much got out of control and so did some of the dares, some of which included stripping in front of the teacher (who was a 65 yr old smug woman), screaming at the top of your lungs "I love men", peeing in the corner of the room (smitty) and shirtless jump-n-jacks. Needless to say this video brings back some real funny times.
On July 28th, Kennelly benched a world record 1036 lbs. What!!
I don't know what's more impressive...the world record or the fact that Kennelly repped out 700 lbs. six times this past November?
Either way, this guy has no arms. It's amazing. I mean, they can't even relax by his side. Kennelly is so abnormally shaped that he can't even throw his belt - he's actually forced to just fling it. Different strokes for different folks, I guess.
Lastly, is that MC (in the blue shirt) sweating that badly, or is it just the lighting? Chris Berman might have some competition after all...
I first saw this on HOLLYWOODTUNA.COM and immediately had to provide some insight to this situation for The Win Column. I'll be the first to admit I've never heard of Olivia Munn...but apparently she hosts "Attack of the Show" which is shown on a channel called "G4"....that I've never heard of. This broad is an absolute smoke show. Holy $hit. How is she not more main stream Hollywood than this? I'd watch hours and hours of her do things....which I'm sure you'll be able to do via the glorious YOUTUBE menu bar. I would do so many things to this girl, it's insane. What a body.....and those yammies....ohhhh numm numm numm. Olivia, I'm going to post 2 posts about you in the next 5 minutes. That's a Win Column first for me. I'd cut off 4 fingers and a toe just to make out with you. You're perfect.
I was about to go to bed when I saw on ESPN.com that Barry Bonds was on deck. What the hell, I said to myself, so I turned my TV to the Giants/Nats game on the baseball package and viewed Bonds' entire at bat. I have to admit, I never thought I'd see something like that. I pleaded with the pitcher to not throw him an inside fastball, and what does he do.......serves #756 on a platter. Initially, I was a little confused as to how I felt. Happy? Pissed? Disappointed? But as Barry Bonds touched home plate and I saw how the fans in San Francisco were going absolutely nuts....I felt good for Barry. I never really thought I'd say that, and mean it. Watching Hank Aaron on the big screen congratulate Bonds and his family on his accomplishment.....watching Willie Mays celebrate the big day right on the field with Barry....and most importantly, the speech. As Bonds thanked his fans (the only ones that support him in the entire country), his family, his teammates, and even the Nationals....I felt happy for him. But the raw emotion he showed when thanking his father and pointing to the sky was legit. Whether or not he cheated the game, this guy has been through a ton of $hit, and has taken tons of $hit from millions and millions across America. Tonight, none of that mattered....because Barry did it. #756 is one for the record books.
***On a side note....I loved that pig pile out in left centerfield where the ball landed. I saw at least two people whiff on their chance to be millionaires.....and then when the ball finally settled....it was the biggest pig pile of all time. No doubt there were punches thrown, biting, kicking, and all that good stuff. That must have been some kind of action.
Granted, the source for this article comes from Celebitchy & Star Magazine....but it has been reported that Desperate Housewives star Teri Hatcher hit it off with Warriors point guard Baron Davis at the Tony Parker/Eva Longoria wedding reception on July 7th.
Tony Parker… introduced the brunette star to a fellow NBA guard, the Golden State Warriors’ Baron Davis, 28, at the newlyweds’ reception on July 7. And after that, Stephen Kay back home seemed to be miles from the actress’ mind!
“Baron and Teri really hit it off,” said a friend of the TV beauty. “They talked and danced all night and had a great time. They couldn’t seem to get enough of each other!”…
As for Teri’s relationship with Stephen, another friend of the star says, “I think she hasn’t had her heart in it for a while. She definitely seemed open to meeting someone new…”
On July 24, Teri and Baron were spotted together again at the Hollywood eatery Pace, where they sat on the same side of a four-person table, “looking like a couple of love-struck teenagers!
Is this the worst group fight you've ever seen?
Only one punch landed (and that came with 2 seconds remaining in the clip) -- the guy in the white LT #21 jersey is getting hit in the side (in the background of the main footage).
One of the first rules in life...if you're going to fight, you better damn well make sure it's worth it. Everybody has a camera in their pocket nowadays. Everyone in this video comes across as fairies. It's as if nobody wanted it. Once you commit to the act, there is no stopping. You may as well get your money's worth! After all, the crime/punishment isn't all of a sudden going to become less than what it was once you decided to join in on the fiasco. Once you throw a punch, it no longer matters how much of a pu$$y you may or may not be...from there on forward, the punishment is going to be the same.
The funniest part of this video are the comments left via the YouTube message board. It's 100% banter between Raiders and Chargers fans about whose a$$ got handed to whom. Are you kidding me??? I could find tougher guys hanging around the local roller skating rink. Going forward, I've lost all respect for both of these franchise's fanbases.
By no means am I advocating fighting (those days are behind me) -- all I'm saying is that once you do throw a punch, you're better off finishing the job.
* Video was seen on KISSING SUZY KOLBER
...I can't wait until August 26th -- I just wish it wasn't 3 weeks from now. By then, no one is even going to remember the show?
What's that, you say? You don't like this post? It's too long? You don't watch this show?? Tough sh*t...I do.
And, for those of you that do watch the show (and I know there's some/many of you out there), it's ok to admit to it. Everyone has their guilty pleasures. I want to hear from you...
I seek to provide analysis and debate regarding sports and other things I think you guys may seem to enjoy. Today, I could care less if Brady Quinn finally grew a sack and signed his contract extension....or if a few teams lost marginal players to training camp injuries. I know you guys can figure all that out on your own. But this, on the other hand, is a hidden gem. For just under two minutes I stared at my computer screen with my mouth open....are these two absolute dimes really tonging the hell out of each other for 2 minutes in the sexiest outfits of all time?
You're all better people for watching this video, and don't ever let anyone tell you differently.
Weren't they? I can't imagine going from a girl that every guy in America and the world wanted to bang, to a disgusting lunatic.....P-I-G! Instead of throwing out more albums, making more money than God, and showing the world every nook and cranny of her ridiculous body....Britney "The Train Wreck Psycho Swine" Spears decided to pop out a few kids, become white trash, and put on the freshman 55.
Why did you do that to us Britney? Why?
***Man, it's a slow sports day so far, so I'm just going to post pictures of hot chicks until further notice.
A couple weeks ago (on July 6th), Suds posted a video of one of my all-time favorite football hits...that being FSU's Greg Jones absolutely barreling through UNC's Dexter Reid. It goes without saying that Greg Jones is a strong, strong man. After all, he's built like a linebacker with tailback instincts and (to a lesser extent) speed.
Anyway, this above video is nuts. From the looks of it, this video comes via some random high school game. That being said, I have no doubt that this linebacker earned himself a college football scholarship...simply by way of this one highlight. I'll even take it a step further...if that running back survived that hit, then I can assure you that the aforementioned linebacker has tapped out the running back's high school sweetheart. It's a "dog-eat-dog world", and this linebacker will forever own the running back in question. Wow!
I have to admit that when Dawson (yes, I'm calling that pickle by his pickle name) turns down the whipped cream bikini in Varsity Blues.....I almost cried. Who the hell would turn down a tasty treat like that? I don't care who your girlfriend is....you get weird on the couch right there and make an iced cream sandwich out of her biscuit. So this post is a formal apology to Ali Larter, because if I had taken over for Lance Harbor at quarterback, I would have absolutely pummeled her on a consistent basis, and I would have been one up on her with that whipped cream bikini...when I pulled a banana out of my pocket and showed her what being the gridiron field general is all about.
