Adrienne Acton Is Your Next Superstar!!!

As I watched some of tonight's Arizona - Tennessee collegiate softball game, one player in particular caught my attention...#4 ADRIENNE ACTON.

I'm sure you've all heard of Allison Stokke, the high school pole vaulter, by now...as numerous blogs and even the Washington Post have praised her "talents" for weeks now. Well, The Win Column is here to tell you that Allison Stokke is the past...Adrienne Acton is the present and future.

Just watch her stock explode in the coming weeks (I really should be a talent evaluator)...

How can it not??? Adrienne is a 21-year-old junior right fielder for the defending national champions (Arizona's 7th title in the last 16 years). Not only that, but she's stunningly gorgeous (now that I think about it, I actually recall that a$$ from last year's tourney).

In truth, I could care less about Adrienne's .312 batting average. Standing in at 5'5", she has a face meant for television and a body for the ages!

Honest question...on a daily basis, what site is more informative than The Win Column??? We are so far ahead of the curve (something tells me that we'll be locating more hidden gems in the coming weeks)...

Friday's Food For Thought

The Win Column presents none other than Vanessa Marcil, 37. God, I love her.

In my expert opinion, Marcil is the sole reason why Las Vegas has stayed on the air for as long as it has. If I were presenting a case, Marcil would serve as Exhibit #1 as to why/how sex sells.

Anyways, I knew Marcil dated and has a kid with Brian Austin Green...but, did anyone know that she was once married to Corey Feldman when she was 18?!?! Corey Feldman???

Boston Sports Hero of the Week - Maurice "The Hit Dog" Vaughn

My man. The Hit Dog. Words can't describe how much I admired this guy. Ever since my father sold this guy a car when he was still on the PawSox, he was an immediate influence on everything I loved about baseball. The stance. The power. The absolute calm about this guy was absolutely sick. He took time out of his day to not only come to my middle school and do an interview in front of 200 screaming 7th graders....but he actually paid for those same 200 7th graders to go sit in the bleachers and actually enjoy a day at friendly Fenway. Now that's a true ballplayer. But enough about all that. I'm sure there are plenty of people that know people. Let's talk about what Big Mo did on the field. Upon his full arrival in the lineup in 1993, Mo went on to crank 29 home runs and drive in 101 RBI's. Not bad for a kid that made his way from the Wareham Gatemen of the Cape Cod League...all the way to the big leagues in such a short period of time. After the cursed strike shortened season of 1994, Big Mo made his presence felt in baseball for quite some time. In 1995, Mo batted .326, 39 HR, 129 RBI, and 11 SB....on his way to his first and only AL MVP award. Round of applause, please.

Does anyone remember how nasty Mo was? He used to get crucial hit, after crucial hit. He made his living by cranking balls the opposite way off the Green Monster. Mo was the Big Papi of the mid to late 90's. No? He continued to improve over the next several seasons, batting .315 or higher from 1996 to 1998 and averaging 40 home runs and 118 RBIs. Those are the numbers of an absolute friggin' beast. BEEEEEAAAAAAAASTTTTTTTTT. When I was a junior in high school, I had the liberty of having front row seats for opening day against the Seattle Mariners in 1998. The Red Sox were losing by 3 runs in the bottom of the 9th, until Big Mo stepped up and delivered a walk-off grand slam that sent Fenway Park into an absolute debacle.

Sure, I may be blacked out right now. But do you honestly think I give a f*ck. Mo Vaughn and Mike Greenwell were by far the best of the 90's....I love them both. But Big Mo was everything that Boston loved. He played hard, and play played even harder. Sure he loved and probably still does love strippers....but who doesn't So what if he flipped his SUV and never had any charges formally against him? He's a goddamn ball player, and that's what ball players do.

Hats off to you, Maurice Vaughn. May the Hit Dog forever live. You made watching the Red Sox during the 90's absolutely incredible. I am forever grateful to have met you, hung out with you, and just flat out loved watching you play. F*CK DAN DUQUETTE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#42

LBJ Just Popped His Cherry

Wade, Nowitzki, Nash, & KG...move over -- you have been FAAAAAR surpassed. Tonight, Lebron James cemented himself as the 3rd best player in the NBA. Lebron just poured in one of the greatest individual performances in NBA history, as the Cavs knocked off the Pistons 109-107 in double OT...IN DETROIT!!!

In the past, I have said that Barbosa was the quickest player in the league. I was wrong...I apologize (you won't hear that often). Lebron is the fastest, quickest, and strongest guard in the NBA. When Lebron chooses to take over a game, he cannot be guarded...no if's, and's, or but's about it. He continuously split the half-court double team, to the tune of thunderous dunk-after-dunk-after-dunk (and when he throws it down, his head is prone to be snapped...as his head is WELL above the rim). There has never been a more dominating 18 minutes in the history of basketball, at any level (including street ball)...not by Bird, not by Kobe, not by MJ. Not by anybody.

In 51 minutes, 18-for-33 from the field. 48 points. 9 rebounds. 7 assists. 2 turnovers.

He scored the final 25 points for the Cavs!! 29 of his team's last 30 points!!

I'm in awe. I'm amazed. I'm speechless. As Sir Charles would say, I just witnessed a raging inferno!!! If you missed this finish, shame on you...you missed history!

THIS SERIES IS OVER. And, LBJ has done it with NO supporting cast (you hear that, Paul Pierce).

Thank you, Lebron -- you have finally proven to us all that you really do care. You are the "King". You will never be doubted again. You are a menace!

(If I'm a Pistons fan, I'm wondering why the hell no one leveled Lebron on one of his many drives...if for nothing else but to at least instill some lingering doubt in the back of James' mind as he drove to the hoop at will. Bad, bad coaching).

Pull Your Pud to Marilyn Tonight

Tomorrow marks what would be Marilyn Monroe's 81st birthday. Monroe was the original blonde bombshell and is arguably the origin of modern day sexuality in the world, and more specifically in the U.S. In an era when American culture lost its innocence and was searching for an identity due to things things like the JFK /Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. assassination, the civil rights movement, and the Korean/Vietnam Wars among other things, Monroe embodied all that was right, beautiful and innocent with American culture. I bet if she was alive today she'd still look dope, and either way, I would LOVE to have a sloppy make-out sesh with her and probably touch her boob. Enjoy...

Money Well Spent??

How do these numbers sound to you? 22-29 with a .431 winning percentage and 13.5 games back of the league leader. Awful, right? If you were running/own this team, those numbers kind of make you want to lock yourself in your basement with a handle of Jim Beam and a shotgun and not come out until either one was empty. Today SI released their list of top 50 paid athletes in the country. How would you feel about those numbers, if after looking at that list, you noticed that 7.......7!!!!! players on your team were on that list. I don't think I'm going out on a limb here by saying that's as embarassing as having your mom walk in on you while your beating off. Here are the Yanks that appear on the list. Now keep in mind this included endorsements, so its not total salary by teams, but the average endorsement deal among these players is about $3.25 mil, topping off with Jeter getting $7 million and bottoming out with both Pettitte and Giambi getting $500,000 each.

1. Jeter: $29,000,000

2. A-ROD: $28,000,000

3. Clemens: $22,500,000

4. Giambi: $22,000,000

5. Matsui: $19,000,000

6. Pettitte: $16,500,000

7. Damon: $15,000,000

The only Sox player on the list was Manny, raking in $20,500,000 last year. I know you always hear about how huge the Yank's payroll is, but seeing it like this really helps you put into perspective exactly how absurd it really is. If you want to see the complete list click on link below. Discuss....

http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/more/specials/fortunate50/2007/index.html

Orlando

Chieftain's Guarantee

Like I mentioned Tuesday evening, there was no chance Kobe was ever going to be traded. With that said, I am now guaranteeing that Jason Kidd will reside in Hollywood come next season (in the past, Kidd-to-L.A. has been rumored, but obviously nothing has come to fruition). It's now GUARANTEED. Who else is willing to put their neck on the line like me?? The thing is...I'm never wrong! I'm the King Kong of baseball and basketball insight.

Essentially, the Lakers will trade Andrew Bynum and spare parts (in order to match the salaries) for Jason Kidd. Bynum should develop into a very formidable center...down the road (meaning, 2-3 years down the road). A nice asset to have, so to speak. But, not when the league's greatest player is currently in his prime -- if you're the Lakers, you must play to win now!!! Jerry Buss - hire Jerry West, turn over in your grave, and stay out of the drunken spotlight.

Kidd, Kobe, & Odom (whom should be moved for a "big").....I'm intrigued.

Give Me 50 Push Ups or It's Your A$$

Well, Simply Suds is off to substitute a gym class for the first time. I'm gonna keep this post short and sweet. If I have any say in the matter today, we'll be playing slaughter house until kids are black and blue. I may even throw the "money" ball out there to the biggest kid. For those of you that don't know...the "money" ball is the most inflated basketball, which can cause quite a bit of damage. Maybe we'll have a pull-ups test. Maybe I'll just tell stories about what being a star high school athlete is all about. I can do whatever the damn I want. Actually, we're gonna go right out to the 50 yard line and do up-downs before an intense game of flag football, without the flags, full contact.

You have a do-do in your pants? Too bad, get down and give me 20!

Hidden Gem...Must See Video (See Earlier Post)

I've been trying to upload the below video ever since last Friday. Needless to say, I had been experiencing difficulty while troubleshooting this masterpiece. But, have no fear...I have since (partially) alleviated the issue -- I still cannot publish the video along with a written post (I'll fix the problem in due time -- it's what I do...I seek RESULTS). But, trust me...the hassle this clip created was well worth my time, as I'm sure it's going to make your evening.

Anyways...this past Thursday night, as I spit some of the best game that Bar 230 5th has ever witnessed (it should be noted that I'm currently on a Jeter-like streak...not a single one of you readers can even begin to comprehend the run which I have endured for the past 5 weeks), the below video was being played in the background (no sound). For 3 1/2 minutes, I dropped every conversation which I had engaged upon and picked my jaw up from the floor as I watched this "Lifelike & Kris Menace" gem (aka, soft porn).

Although SlowStuff is our resident music video guru, I officially declare this as the best music video of all-time. Name one better. No, really...I challenge you to??

As a side note, I would like to take this opportunity to declare NYC as the greatest city in America. Why? I could rant and rave about the culture, diversity, opportunities, restaurants, nightlife, events, etc. (I really could go on for hours -- seriously)...but, the defining factor comes down to the female population which resides in Manhattan. It's overwhelming! Vegas?? Can't even compare the two cities' female population...don't even bother. I seriously moved my hotel further away from where I have been working, just because I want my morning walk to last that much longer. My head is on a constant swivel. I'm rejuvenated. I'm at peace -- I don't ever want to leave.

Lifelike and Kris Menace - Discopolis

CUUUURTISSSSS

Those who are awaiting the release of 50 Cent's new album, originally set for release on June 26th, will have to wait until September 4th. Fifty's highly anticipated third album has been pushed back to facilitate a worldwide release. "I'm an international artist," 50 Cent said. "My fans worldwide deserve to receive my album at the same time as my fans here in the US. Taking that into consideration moving the album to September was a necessary course of action." Some speculate that he could be taking a break from everything, after selling his 10% share of Glaceau Vitamin Water for $400 million to Coca-Cola. 50's latest singles, "Amusement Park" and "Straight to the Bank" have created much buzz on radio and video channels alike. Also, Fifty has been stirring up some necessary hype in the streets with his ongoing beef with the "Dip Set" general and founder Cam'ron. Say what you will about Fifty Cent, but I feel that only a handful of rappers are holding it down like "Ferrari-50". It's upsetting that we won't be able to enjoy the summer's hottest, most anticipated album until the fall. Look for 50 Cent all this week as he hosts BET's "Rap City" at 5 PM EST.

The NFL Will Soon Have Competition...

Once again, the NFL is going to have to deal with a little friendly competition. The "UFL" will enter large market cities where the NFL is not currently located. Cities such as Salt Lake City, Los Angeles, Mexico City, and Las Vegas will soon have football franchises. The league is being started by Wall Street businessman Bill Hambrecht, and Tim Armstrong, a senior executive with Google. The league's first owner.....look no further than the loser himself, Mark Cuban, who hopes to purchase the league's Las Vegas franchise upon completion. The league hopes to kickoff preseason games in August 2008....14 months from today. The one advantage the league could have going for them is the fact that the NFL is prohibited from televising games on Friday nights due to an old 1961 Sports Brodcasting Act. So the UFL would have the popular Friday night television slot all to themselves, a very enticing spot to be in.

Ok, maybe this is a bad thing, but the first thing I thought of was the fact that now I'm going to be able to bet on twice as many football games in a given week. As if the fact that I punch myself on Monday night after the Broncos don't cover, now I'm going to have to risk life and limb over some jerkoff on the Las Vegas UFL team to cover a spread? Holy Christ. I'm doomed. I'm going to have to get a first, second, and third job to pay the bookie. Or maybe I just won't pay and I'll go on the run. Who knows. I can't imagine this league being any good, but I can imagine an A/R with the Patriots and the Salt Lake City UFL team. That's glorious.

I Almost Cost Maria Her Match This Morning

For all of you Tennis junkies out there, I just thought I'd update you on what's going on out in Paris for the French Open. Maria Sharapova showed little sign of her recent shoulder trouble as she defeated Emilie Loit of France 6-3, 7-6 (4). Sharapova was soft spoken after her match, probably due to the fact that I kept her up until around 3 AM this morning:

"My shoulder is still not where I want it to be. It's still not perfect," Sharapova said. "I don't think I've had a more serious injury."

Maria, it's not really my fault that I had whisky d*ck last night. Normally, a smoke show like you would be able to satisfy me pretty quickly...but hey, once and a while these things happen. I'd like to apologize to all your Russian fans for risking your tennis match due to my craving for a crank job. But at the end of the day, you're still stupid hot....and we still have many positions to try for your upcoming events. I love you, call me.

Kobe Update

The FanHouse is reporting the folowing:

Kobe just went off on the Lakers front office on both L.A. Radio stations within the last few hours. Topics that were of the fore-front...

• The Lakers told him they were going to build a contender around him when he re-signed, yet Phil Jackson revealed to Kobe today that the Lakers front office told him (after they fired him in '04) that they were going to build for the future (with a 5-6 year plan). Kobe says he only re-signed because he was assured they would be trying to build for now and not the future.
• The Lakers staff keeps throwing him under the bus for the Shaq deal. Kobe stated that Lakers owner Jerry Buss told him in February of 2004 that they were trading Shaq no matter what because they didn't want to pay his salary. Basically, in the middle of the '04 season, Buss had already decided to trade Shaq. In today's L.A. Times, Mark Heisler quoted a Laker insider as saying that Kobe is the reason Shaq is not playing for the Lakers anymore. Kobe is furious about this, saying he thinks the Lakers have been content with him taking the bullet for the Shaq fiasco for years and that he's not going to sit back without speaking up about the issue anymore.
• They traded his best friend Caron Butler for Kwame Brown. Kobe stated that he and Butler were working out together that entire summer in anticipation of playing together during the next season.
• Kobe says he has every unhappy player in the NBA calling him asking him to see if the front office can do something to get them in Los Angeles, yet the Lakers front office always gives him an excuse as to why they don't want to bring any of those players in. He specifically spoke of Baron Davis, Carlos Boozer, and Ron Artest and said that every time he's brought a deal to the Lakers he's been shot down. Kobe said that Boozer BADLY wanted to play with him here in L.A. when the Jazz were going to sell him for $.15 on the dollar, but the Lakers told Kobe they didn't think he could guard the four spot.
• He doesn't want to be traded, but wants to know the real deal...Are they building to win now or trying to build for the future (as the Andrew Bynum pick would indicate)?

...So, how is this going to end?? Let's get something straight, Kobe isn't going anywhere. He's the best player in the NBA as well as the most marketable player in the NBA. Granted, I don't think he has chosen the most opportune time (I would have liked to have seen him wait until after the playoffs had ended...I know, I know -- the Spurs won the championship when the Mavs were ousted, but you know I what I mean) to openly dissect the Lakers front office...but, if what he is saying is true, then he certainly deserves some answers (behind closed doors) AND changes. Rumors out of L.A. indicate that owner/drunk Jerry Buss is trying to cut costs so that he can hand off the team to his family in good financial standing when he passes. Wake the hell up, Jerry!! If you continue to lie to your lone superstar, the team is going to be in financial hell. If Kobe actually does demand a trade, your franchise is doomed. Kobe is the SOLE reason why people show up at the Staples Center, night-in and night-out.

Danny Ainge...get on the phone and offer the city of Boston to Jerry Buss ASAP! I'm talking Jefferson, Pierce, Theo's contract, and 1st round picks for the next decade. Sh*t, who am I kidding?? That's still not even close to enough to land the modern day MJ. At least I can dream tonight...

I Scream, You Scream, We All Scream...For Ice Cream...

Representin' Rhode Island

As I was flipping through the channels, I came across BET's Ballers. Essentially, the program focuses on today's main sports stories...but, comes with an urban twist. Tonight's show featured the likes of John Salley, Steven A. Smith, Baron Davis, Paul Pierce, and Claudia Jordan...among others.

Needless to say, this show is nothing special....except for Claudia Jordan (works as a guest correspondent), whom is a goddess. The best part about her? Well, my research tells me that Claudia, 34, grew up in Rhode Island. That's right, R.I. is slowly (but surely) taking over the world.

Claudia Jordan was a fixture as one of "Barker's Beauties" on The Price Is Right, from 2001 - 2003. Currently, Jordan serves as a model on Deal or No Deal and dates U.S. Olympic sprinter Maurice Greene.

It should also be noted that Jordan held the Miss Rhode Island Teen USA 1990 title and represented Rhode Island at the Miss Teen USA 1990 pageant. In 1997, she won the Miss Rhode Island USA title, becoming the third Miss Rhode Island Teen USA to win a Miss USA state title. She competed at Miss USA 1997, and placed in the semi-finals.

You Drink, You Drive, You Lose.....

...unless your a bajillionaire like Jerry Buss, the 74 year old owner of the Lakers. He was arrested around 1 AM on Tuesday morning for suspicion of driving under the influence of alcohol. Suspicion? I mean, was he c*cked or what? The guy was driving down the wrong way on a double lined road in his Mercedes...I'm pretty sure the guy was hammer-hawked out of his skull. And why is this guy driving anywhere????? He has more money than God, so why doesn't he just piss himself in the back of his limo, rather than risk getting behind the wheel. Can you imagine how piss drunk you'd get if you could take a limo everywhere? Not only could you pregame drink at your house, but you could get smashed in your limo on the way to the bar, and once you park at the bar, and on the ride home. Wow, that sounds unbelievable.

But that's neither here nor there, because you're all losers, and you'll never be as wealthy as this guy....you all lose. Let's talk about who was riding shotgun in this Mercedes. Yes, I'm talking about the "unidentified" 23-year-old lovely woman that wasn't arrested in the incident. Hmmmm....was Mr. Buss paying for sex this evening? Was he taking home a girl from the Playboy Mansion? I wanna know more about the who-ahhhh that didn't get more than one sentence of a mention in the articles on the Internet. I mean, did she look like a hooker? Was she just some dime piece of a$$ that wanted to use Mr. Buss for tuition money for UCLA or USC? Tell me more God damn it. I'd be willing to bet she probably looked like a catcher's mitt and had a sausage tucked between her legs....but hey, that's how Simply Suds thinks.

Revisiting Rick Ankiel

Rick Ankiel is one of the more intriguing stories in the history of baseball.

As a 20 year-old (in 2000), Ankiel was in the process of living up to all the hype which surrounded him. In 1997, Ankiel was drafted by the St. Louis Cardinals in the 2nd round (and signed a $2.5 million signing bonus, the fifth highest ever awarded to an amateur player) -- and was said to have possessed some of the best "stuff" scouts had ever witnessed (High School Player of the Year in 1997). After all, he was a lefty that threw absolute peas, a heavy sinker, and had a hook for a curveball (the best curveball I have ever seen to-date...no exaggeration).

In 2000 (officially, his rookie year), Ankiel made 30 starts (175 total innings)...and compiled an 11-7 record and a 3.50 ERA in the process. In these 175 innings, Ankiel recorded 194 strikeouts (9.98 K/9 ratio). THAT IS UNHEARD OF THESE DAYS, especially for a 20-year-old rookie!

Then, came the playoffs. The wheels spun off right in front of our very eyes. It was painful to watch. In 4 playoff innings, Ankiel allowed 7 earned runs, all while walking 11 batters. To put it politely, he was a mess -- as he continuously threw to the backstop.

Below, I have outlined Ankiel's spiraling line in the 3rd inning of Game 1 of the 2000 NLDS (vs. Atlanta):

Maddux walked; Furcal popped to Clark in foul territory; Ankiel threw a wild pitch (Maddux to second); Ankiel threw a wild pitch (Maddux to third); A. Jones walked; Ankiel threw a wild pitch (A. Jones to 2nd); C. Jones was called out on strikes; Galarraga walked (Maddux scored on wild pitch by Ankiel; A. Jones to 3rd); Jordan singled to Lankford (A. Jones scored, Galarraga to 2nd); Ankiel threw a wild pitch (Galarraga to 3rd, Jordan to 2nd); Sanders walked; Weiss singled to Lankford (Galarraga scored, Jordan scored, Sanders to 2nd); Mike James replaced Ankiel; López popped to Viña; 4 R, 2 H, 0 E, 2 LOB. Braves 4, Cardinals 6.

This above game was the beginning of the end, as he never was able to recover. Instead, in 2005, Ankiel suddenly announced that he was switching to the outfield, after an unsuccessful practice outing in which his wildness reappeared.

Still don't think baseball is a mental/confidence game?? Think again.

Fast forward to today...on Memorial Day, Ankiel hit two tape measure home runs in Round Rock, Texas against the Express. He also clubbed an RBI double and made a running over the shoulder catch in deep centerfield that saved two runs. Thus far, it is his best game as a hitter and is the best evidence yet that he is ready for the majors.

On the year, Ankiel (despite missing 10 days earlier this month with an Achilles' tendon injury) has totaled 11 homers. He's hitting .275 in 149 at-bats.

Here's to hoping that Ankiel stays hot and eventually forces his way onto the big-league 25-man roster (he's likely replace Ryan Ludwick)...

Kevin Youkilis is Ridiculously Good

After staring at the screen looking at Youk's stats for 15 minutes, I still can't believe it. Through 46 games, he has 39 runs, 67 hits, 16 doubles, 7 HRs, 28 RBI, 2 stolen bases, .354 batting average, .431 OBP, and .550 slugging percentage......read that line again. HE IS SICK! Not to mention his current 20 game hitting streak. He ranks in the top 10 in the AL for BA, OBP, OPS, runs, and SLG. After watching Youk leg out that inside the park home run yesterday, I was so amped up I did 5 push-ups....seriously. I don't think I'm going out on a limb here when I say that Youk is one of the top five best values in the majors currently (excluding pitchers), seeing as how he is making $425,000 this year. He and Mike Lowell have been the backbone of the Sox offense through this point in the season, and just wait until Manny and Ortiz wake up, this line-up will be absurdly good.

By all accounts of his teammates, Youkilis is one of the hardest workers in the off-season. Papa Jack has worked extensively with him during his tenure with the Sox, and claims that Youk was constantly working on improving his hitting night and day in the cage. To top that off, he is a home-grown talent that only a few years ago was riding the Peter Pan bus between Pawtucket and Boston on an almost weekly basis. In an era where teams seemingly have to choose between being a perennial contender by spending a ton of money or developing their system over time, with the hopes of making a run every 5-10 years, I think Youk is one of the bright spots on the Sox front office's resume. I had to put a picture of Youk up there just because every time I see him he redefines the term hideous, but in an attempt to offset the shock, I wanted to add a picture of the epitome of a butt that won't quit.

Viva Orlando!

Dunk of the Day

This insane dunk by Willie Warren, #32 of the team in white (Team Texas), took place this past weekend in an AAU tournament.

This interesting thing about this dunk is that it features two of the best high school talents in the land, as Warren is currently ranked as the #28 overall prospect of the 2008 class. In turn, Xavier Henry, #23 of the team in yellow (also known as the one being posterized in this clip), is considered the 3rd best prospect in the 2009 class.

So, yes...you guessed it -- these freaks are just now graduating their junior and sophomore HS campaigns. Ridiculous.

Enough is Enough

By a vote of 140-4, the Texas House of Representatives has passed a bill that will make public high school athletes face mandatory random steroid testing. Unless Gov. Rick Perry vetoes the bill, Texas will begin testing tens of thousands of students at the start of the coming football season.

The state has set aside $3 million in its budget to pay for the tests.

...This is absurd! $3 million to test adolescent teenagers for steroids???? Spend this money on books. Spend this money on facilities. Spend this money on TEACHERS...imagine that?

When you start drug testing 'innocent' teenagers, in public schools for that matter, then you have gone too far. High school students make mistakes. They will continue to make mistakes. But by the same token, these same teenagers learn from their experiences/mistakes. Newsflash...there are much more prevalent narcotics being ingested at your local high school.

Even if this testing is implemented, it's hardly going to stop a 17-year-old from juicing. Let's be honest, there are hundreds of ways to pass a sample steroid screening.

Steroids have a definitive place in the NFL, yet it doesn't belong in high school football? Doesn't make any sense to me. You cannot rid an issue starting from the bottom -- it must start from the top. And, Roger Goodell only cares about suspending NFL "problem childs" that may or may not have been convicted of a crime.

Stay tuned, as this is sure to cause outrage. Just wait until the first star QB is caught...

A Fallen Patriot

The Win Column would like to express its deepest condolences to the family and friends of New England Patriots defensive end Marquise Hill, who died tragically after falling off a jet ski in New Orleans over the holiday weekend. It has been learned that just prior to his death, Hill used his final moments of life to help the young woman who was on the jet ski with him, find a safe place to hold on to, until help could arrive. Former LSU teammates and current Patriots Randall Gay and Jarvis Green said it best when they said, "We lost a brother today. Knowing that I have to go back to work and go look at his locker this week, it's tough."

Most of the people reading this probably don't remember who Marquise Hill was, because he was made inactive for the better part of the last few seasons, but he was an absolute beast at LSU, and was a member of the 2004 Patriots Super Bowl team after being drafted that same year in the 2nd round after winning the national championship with the Tigers. He never was able to start for the Patriots, but that doesn't really matter. Football, unlike any other sport to my knowledge, is a brotherhood. Even the guys that don't see a lick of playing time, yet share those jokes and laughs at lockers right next to yours, mean the world to the entire team. These are the guys you go to war with, day in, day out. They are feeling the same sprains, breaks, and bruises (probably 100% more than any starter because the starters don't get worked as hard).

What we never knew was how involved Hill was in his hometown community, especially after Hurricane Katrina. He personally helped rebuild the homes of family and friends and spent a good portion of his salary doing so, I'm sure.

These are the type of players that should be glorified. Not the punks, the druggies, the wife beaters, the DOG FIGHTERS, the pistol whippers. Soft spoken, did his job, and helped give back to the community that was able to give him the opportunity in the first place.

Rest in peace, Marquise Hill.

Cat Like Speed and Reflexes

That guy that shot the enormous boar has nothing on the manliest of men we're dedicating this post to.

Over the weekend, in the Holy city of Jerusalem, Arthur Du Mosch, 49, was awakened to find a live wild leopard staring him dead in the face. Then, it was on like Donkey Kong. He wrestled the wild leopard to the ground in what must have been a 20 minute epic battle, and pinned the beast to the floor until park rangers could arrive. Du Mosch, who must be a man of very few words, said pretty much the opposite of what I'd say, should a friggin wild leopard ever jump through my bedroom window and try to bite my face off:

"This kind of thing doesn't happen every day," said 49-year-old Arthur Du Mosch, a nature guide. "I don't know why I did it. I wasn't thinking, I just acted. And the kids were really excited."

Hey Art, have you lost your goddamn mind? You just wrestled one of the most ferocious creatures of the jungle to the ground for 20 minutes, didn't get hurt, and you actually won this cage match? Pull your pud buddy, let the world see your enormous balls. I'd be doing back flips while Katie Couric stuck her microphone right in my nether regions. Normally, most of us have wrestled our fair share of barnyard animals in the bedroom (depending on what they look like, the animal changes for story purposes) but to wrestle a big cat? Damn. There's not much else I can say about this, except that now I realize why it's so hard to mount a cougar. If a cougar is looking for a 20 minute epic battle, she should divide the minutes by 10 and lower her expectations. I want a cougar. Someone give me a machete, a compass, and drop me into the Amazon like Jesse Ventura in Platoon. I'd put my life on the line to get to see what all the hype is about.

Can someone please explain to me why that jerkoff in the photo above is the #1 image when you search "leopard" on Google? The world is a f*cked up place.

CNN.COM link:

http://www.cnn.com/2007/WORLD/meast/05/28/leopard.jerusalem.ap/index.html

Somwhere Simply Suds Weeps

As Deadspin reports...earlier this month, 11-year-old Jamison Stone killed a 9-foot, 1051 pound wild hog in Alabama (pictured above).

"It feels really good," Jamison said in a telephone interview with The Associated Press. "It's a good accomplishment. I probably won't ever kill anything else that big."

Mike Vick -- meet your competition...

Baddest Dude in the World

Well, I watched the fight, did you? I gave it 24 hours before I wrote about it, so if any of you sh*t bums have an issue, go to hell. Quentin "Rampage" Jackson is a beast.

A lot of people don't pay attention to MMA (mixed martial arts), but I have been a big fan since the hayday of Royce Gracie and Ken Shamrock. In the beginning, there were NO RULES. I repeat, NO RULES. You could drop all of your weight on a guy's face. You could reign 1000 punches to your opponents' nuts without any repercussion.

Anyhow, the fight between Liddell and Jackson was supposed to be "The Iceman's" revenge. Chuck had lost three fights in his career, and avenged two of them. Rampage was his last opponent that gave him a whooping. This was supposed to be Chuck's biggest, and hardest I may add, rematch. That didn't work out as planned.

Holy Balls, this was not even a fight. Rampage is gonna be a champ for a long time. Anyone who thinks they can compete with this guy is straight nuts. This guy wears chains, a la the junkyard dog. That alone is enough to freak out his opponents. Let alone the fact that the guy has dynamite in both fists. He is a solid wrestler, yet we have had no need to see it yet, and nobody in the UFC (*except maybe Mirko Cro Cop or Randy Couture) can stand with him.

(*And both of them are heavyweights.)

Bottom line is Rampage is an animal that everyone should see. If you guys haven't seen him fight, look him up, you won't be dissapointed.

This was supposed to be one of the best fights in UFC history, it didn't turn out that way, but stay tuned for Tito Ortiz vs. Rashaad Evans. That may just be the best fight the UFC has ever scheduled.

Smokin' Hot Chick of the Long Weekend: Paulina Rubio

This Mexican vixen is stupid hot.....I mean this chick is Shakira hot. I think the pictures speak for themselves.