Pu$$y of the Week - Michael Barrett

You got your clock cleaned in the dugout, the clubhouse, and pretty much everywhere else you brought your miserable self. You must have thought you were tough when you beat up that pervert A.J. Pierzynski in the battle for Chicago last year....but boy were you wrong. Carlos Zambrano played putt-putt with your foredome, you jerk. Just when you thought it couldn't get any worse.....you were just traded to the Padres for "undisclosed" players. In case you didn't know, Mikey...."undisclosed" = bums. Stiffs. You were pretty much just given away for a used condom and a large iced coffee regular.

Your only saving grace is that you're moving from the windy city to the beach in San Diego. But, I'd be willing to bet that you don't even know how to use your mangina. Go to the bar, buy a round of Patron shots for hot chicks, and smash them in your luxury condo you'll probably buy. You waste of life.